Hi all. It’s over with my guy. We met last week to chat (had to admire that when others would ghost/send a brief text). It wasn’t conclusive. We’ve since messaged and I’ve pushed him to give me a conclusion. While he thinks we have a lot in common and enjoys spending time with me, he’s realised he’s not ready for a relationship because of his situation with the ex. They’re getting divorced. He just can’t handle it. As I said in earlier posts, she lives miles away, and has a new partner. It is over between them. Despite him thinking he was ready for a relationship, shock horror, he’s not! It was a risk I took to get involved, and better I know now how he feels than months later. I’m a bit gutted because, besides the now-obvious emotional unavailability, there was nothing that made me question our compatibility, and I thought we were heading towards confirming our ‘relationship’
When we met up, he said he wants to still see me. I know he’s hurting and confused. In his final message, he said some lovely stuff and made what seems to be a sincere offer to be friends, because he’d hate to lose complete contact. He acknowledged I might not want that. I don’t know if it’s just to make him feel better for now, have companionship, or if it’s him feeling he’s not losing an opportunity down the line, once he gets out of this. Who knows and I can’t be bothered to do my own head in with speculating. I’ve done that in the past and it’s pointless. I think I could handle this if I have some time away from him to process and let things subside first. I can’t and don’t have expectations of sorting it down the line. I normally shut it firmly, but he’s a good guy and I think I feel ok with leaving the door slightly open in this instance. It feels like a classic ‘right guy, wrong time’ situation. I’d rather not shut him off completely, but whether he can figure things out is down to him, not me. I won’t be messaging and chasing him, and I’ve left the ball in his court regarding getting in touch. If it was a genuine offer, he will. If it was hollow, then no loss for me. I know he won’t be in a good place, emotionally, for many, many months if not longer, so I have to move on and leave him do his thing. If it’s meant to be it will be.
I’m actually ok now. I’ve cried, vented and woke up feeling light this morning, like I’m letting go. Phew! In time, when I’m ready, I’ll go back to the sodding apps - yay!
I might be back in time to contribute crap from the apps. Can’t wait to be told I look like I enjoy a good pounding, asked if I like anal and so on all over again
The kindness and consideration that you afford others, direct it back towards you. 
- it can seem like everyone has their life together and are flourishing but are they really? People in relationships are lonely. It means nothing.
Strangely I’ve been absolutely fine. No wobbles here.
