Dating after lockdown #12 It’s all got a bit dark

[ATV2021]

Thank you (and thanks to everyone else who’s replied). I just get worried about being a bad person/ just as bad as he is and really I’m just too bloody nice.

I won't get into boundaries etc haha but yeah I am/was a people pleaser too. Slowly working out of that because its bloody draining chasing and making everyone else happy (or trying to). Just keep repeating to yourself the tit he's done and remind yourself how amazing and strong you are and that you say no. And block. Goodbye felicia!

Nope we’re not dating at all- we’ve literally only just had 4 conversations since he moved in last week.

I could just ask him then next time i see him.

I’ll still be friendly and all that.

Did he ever text or anything when you gave number?

 

[rainbowlemon]

No text either. The number giving was just yesterday too. I feel like a bit of an idiot and want to run away to Brighton, but im hoping it could also just pass as normal friendly behavior as i’m likely to see him again.

 

[ThreeSteaksPam]

@rainbowlemon If he’s anything like any of my male friends, he won’t have picked up on anything from the number giving other than you being a friendly neighbour and trying to make him feel welcome in a new place Honestly, men can be surprisingly dense when it comes to this stuff, I’d bet good money it’s gone right over his head.

 

[Boadicea1]

@rainbowlemon If he’s anything like any of my male friends, he won’t have picked up on anything from the number giving other than you being a friendly neighbour and trying to make him feel welcome in a new place Honestly, men can be surprisingly dense when it comes to this stuff, I’d bet good money it’s gone right over his head.

Honestly, you are so right.

I remember seeing a meme awhile back on Reddit about a woman and a man laying in bed together and she was extremely anxious that her man was 'going off her' and he was sat there thinking about 'car issues' It does say that 'some' men really can be extremely shut off and give the wrong messages without realising...hopefully somebody knows what the hell I am talking about.

 

[NoseyNiamh]

Bumble question: why is their names sometimes showing as 'Moderated?

 

[HelloStereo]

No text either. The number giving was just yesterday too. I feel like a bit of an idiot and want to run away to Brighton, but im hoping it could also just pass as normal friendly behavior as i’m likely to see him again.

Ah don't feel like an idiot. He probably just thought you were being neighbourly. And the girl could just be a friend if you've not seen him with her before.

 

[candyland_]

Honestly, you are so right.

I remember seeing a meme awhile back on Reddit about a woman and a man laying in bed together and she was extremely anxious that her man was 'going off her' and he was sat there thinking about 'car issues' It does say that 'some' men really can be extremely shut off and give the wrong messages without realising...hopefully somebody knows what the hell I am talking about.

I’ve seen this meme a there’s loads of variations

I’d think of the phone swapping as a neighbourly thing and not worry about it.

 

[HelloStereo]

I feel so weird. I met a guy out today at the same pub I met the guy who did the weird AWOL. He has the same name and is also Irish . He said he saw me reading a book weeks ago and kept looking over but didn't want to approach me apparently. And then tonight he came over and said 'this might be weird but were you the girl sitting in the garden reading a few weeks ago?"

We talked and exchanged numbers. It's just such a coincidence same name same nationality and same pub.

And then I was talking to a regular and he said that guy mentioned he went to all fetish events and now I am conflicted because that's not really a bit of me

 

[PiesAndLattes]

Date with the second guy today!!! In 2 hours actually, I’ll let everyone know how it goes

 

[prinnygrace]

Lurk on this thread constantly but only ever posted once or twice.

I had such a lovely date last night with someone I’ve been speaking to for a couple of weeks. He was absolutely gorgeous (wish he was an inch or so taller, but as a 6ft woman I can’t be too picky!) but we had such a lovely night. Just went for some pizza and a drink but I was driving so only had 1. Super super chilled but all we did was laugh which was super refreshing after a few awful dates recently!! He paid for dinner, I paid for the drink afterwards. He’s busy all day today though so I know I won’t be hearing from him much/if at all so now I’ve just got to stop all the thoughts of it’s because he doesn’t want to see me again etc (yet to have a conversation about that but the fact he wanted to go for a drink after dinner I’m taking as a he was having a good time?!) when I know he’s busy🥲 suchhhhh an over thinker!!

 

[ATV2021]

Lurk on this thread constantly but only ever posted once or twice.

I had such a lovely date last night with someone I’ve been speaking to for a couple of weeks. He was absolutely gorgeous (wish he was an inch or so taller, but as a 6ft woman I can’t be too picky!) but we had such a lovely night. Just went for some pizza and a drink but I was driving so only had 1. Super super chilled but all we did was laugh which was super refreshing after a few awful dates recently!! He paid for dinner, I paid for the drink afterwards. He’s busy all day today though so I know I won’t be hearing from him much/if at all so now I’ve just got to stop all the thoughts of it’s because he doesn’t want to see me again etc (yet to have a conversation about that but the fact he wanted to go for a drink after dinner I’m taking as a he was having a good time?!) when I know he’s busy🥲 suchhhhh an over thinker!!

It's lovely to hear good dates! My advice, which is easier said than done is....don't overthink haha make yourself busy living your life so you don't worry if he will message. If he doesn't then his loss and wasn't meant to be and It's about him and not you. If he wants to he will. one of my favourite pages for hammering stuff in and making us ladies feel better is "A New Mode". Their YouTube videos were a saviour to me and still are just to remind me that I'm a boss ANM say all of this stuff too It's all what we already know but it just sinks it in. I'm happy being busy living and enjoying life now. I've matched with some people on like Hinge and I'm just like ah CBA

 

[candyland_]

Lurk on this thread constantly but only ever posted once or twice.

I had such a lovely date last night with someone I’ve been speaking to for a couple of weeks. He was absolutely gorgeous (wish he was an inch or so taller, but as a 6ft woman I can’t be too picky!) but we had such a lovely night. Just went for some pizza and a drink but I was driving so only had 1. Super super chilled but all we did was laugh which was super refreshing after a few awful dates recently!! He paid for dinner, I paid for the drink afterwards. He’s busy all day today though so I know I won’t be hearing from him much/if at all so now I’ve just got to stop all the thoughts of it’s because he doesn’t want to see me again etc (yet to have a conversation about that but the fact he wanted to go for a drink after dinner I’m taking as a he was having a good time?!) when I know he’s busy🥲 suchhhhh an over thinker!!

Just be mindful not to give him too much leeway and to go about your day. Nobody is too busy (and it shows their excitement) to send a text when they got home or wake up to say they had a good time. Glad you had fun though!

 

[Clickbait]

Not really one for memes but saw this and thought of this group.

This isn’t directed at you @prinnygrace btw. What you have to remember is you can only control your own actions. Sounds like you had fun, you were yourself and you have no regrets about the date. There is no reason why he shouldn’t get back in touch.

If he doesn’t don’t start looking back at the date and picking holes in yourself or what you said etc. Just realise it’s his loss. I think he will text and I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you

 

[rainbowlemon]

Lol you beat me to it!

This is from my sisters insta with Mcfly's song playing in the background.

 

[Clickbait]

Lol you beat me to it!

This is from my sisters insta with Mcfly's song playing in the background.

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Great minds

I feel so weird. I met a guy out today at the same pub I met the guy who did the weird AWOL. He has the same name and is also Irish . He said he saw me reading a book weeks ago and kept looking over but didn't want to approach me apparently. And then tonight he came over and said 'this might be weird but were you the girl sitting in the garden reading a few weeks ago?"

We talked and exchanged numbers. It's just such a coincidence same name same nationality and same pub.

And then I was talking to a regular and he said that guy mentioned he went to all fetish events and now I am conflicted because that's not really a bit of me

Do you think that’s likely? I’m not sure how many people talk to the pub regulars about their sex kinks.

I’d wait and see if he calls/texts and take it from there. If he turns up to the first date in head to toe latex and a g i m p mask I’ll stand corrected

 

[PiesAndLattes]

GUYS PLEASE THIS DATE!

So we met this afternoon around 3.00pm at a pub for a couple of drinks and then I said should we go for a walk? Went for a walk through Sydney, it was so nice, through the gardens, sun was setting over Sydney Harbour… magic right. Went for a walk and post lockdown it’s pretty hard to get in anywhere but we got into the first place we tried and it was such a nice Italian place and we had a bottle of red and just chatted for 4 hours! A storm hit in the middle of dinner and we were sitting on the harbour undercover watching the storm roll in… honestly sounds like a rom com. We left and walked up the street to catch taxis home and we had an awkward goodbye moment I think everyone has post date and I just said “can we kiss?” And I thought it would be a peck but was a full make out kiss, in the rain, on Sydney Harbour. He already asked me out for date 2!

Sounds like a dream so I’m trying to remain on the ground with both feet firmly planted.

Edit: date went for 7ish hours.

 

[prinnygrace]

He’s text me this morning so I feel better now. Trying to keep very chill about it and just see where it goes and let it happen however it happens but I’m glad he’s text me and I can stop thinking about it

 

[Thank(space)you]

So pleased (& jealous!) of these good dates

 

[Bagpuss7]

Bumble question: why is their names sometimes showing as 'Moderated?

Usually means they have been reported for something and the moderaters on the site are monitoring them.... avoid!!!!

 

[it’s not been changed?!]

I keep reporting someone on bumble who keeps making new profiles and has a different age every time. Ranging from 37 to 42! I’m such a little witch.
I’m chatting to someone on bumble and his profile is verified, but I still think I’m being catfished. I did reverse image search and nothing came up…