Dating after lockdown #11 My dating life…one bad decision!

[Sandor]

Speaking of snooping... A guy I'm talking to on Hinge accidentally sent me a friend request today Don't know how he found me, my surname isn't even on dating apps or social media

There’s always a way - first name location and job into Google and you can usually find someone pretty quickly. Even easier if your phone number has been shared and you’ve linked it to anything.

I know some people think it’s creepy. I call it due diligence.

 

[Mr Sparkle]

Did you accept it?

Heck no! He deleted the request very speedily but I caught it I did message him telling he'd be a tit detective, though.

There’s always a way - first name location and job into Google and you can usually find someone pretty quickly. Even easier if your phone number has been shared and you’ve linked it to anything.

I know some people think it’s creepy. I call it due diligence.

Hah, so true! I have 'due diligence' in my job title and being nosey is part of my role, so I always do some snooping of my own

 

[BunnyLebowski]

Hey gang, what’s that song…it’s about a boy in love with a girl but it turns out he’s only obsessed with her because he’s painfully in the closet and is in love with her boyfriend. Something about a jumper?

Call off the search guys. I’ve found it. It’s Heather by Conan Gray. Sozza having a wine and YouTube night

Actually the lyrics are fucked up. Total misogyny.

Call off the search guys. I’ve found it. It’s Heather by Conan Gray. Sozza having a wine and YouTube night

 

[Clementine]

Bit the bullet and sent a message first. Did that thing we all hate and sent a generic message….I’m going to delete Tinder and get a dog

 

[Pariszai]

Had a snoop on the last guy that broke my heart when he said he was too busy for a relationship for me.. he's all happy in a new relationship..broke my own heart now never feel good enough 🥲

A guy spent the whole night a few weeks ago telling me he wanted to get to know me more blah blah so I decided to shoot my shot and ask him out a few days later. Said he wasn't ready as he'd not long got out of a relationship.
Low and behold I see him this weekend while I was out with someone who knows us both 'lol shall we go and embarrass him on his date?!' so he clearly is ready to date, just not me.

Men suck.

 

[hereforthememe]

Bit the bullet and sent a message first. Did that thing we all hate and sent a generic message….I’m going to delete Tinder and get a dog
View attachment 797976View attachment 797977

Rate the honesty of that bottom guy to be fair

 

[Clementine]

Yeah, you can’t complain at that. That’s if he is being honest

 

[hereforthememe]

Yeah, you can’t complain at that. That’s if he is being honest

I hope so now I've complimented some random guy on a dating app

 

[LaurieLaurie]

Speaking of snooping... A guy I'm talking to on Hinge accidentally sent me a friend request today Don't know how he found me, my surname isn't even on dating apps or social media

I think our phones have a magic way of showing people as friend suggestions, I keep seeing men I’ve talked to as people I may know.

 

[hereforthememe]

I read somewhere that if you add someone as a contact on WhatsApp they are suggested to you in FB and Insta

 

[LaurieLaurie]

A guy spent the whole night a few weeks ago telling me he wanted to get to know me more blah blah so I decided to shoot my shot and ask him out a few days later. Said he wasn't ready as he'd not long got out of a relationship.
Low and behold I see him this weekend while I was out with someone who knows us both 'lol shall we go and embarrass him on his date?!' so he clearly is ready to date, just not me.

Men suck.

We’ve heard this excuse a few times on here recently. I think we can assume men are never too busy and they are always ready to date someone else..

 

[Katelove1989]

I’ve been wondering, what’s everyone’s views on asking for feedback?

I saw someone on tiktok doing it…

Would you do it?
Have you done it?
What was the result?

I’ve personally never done it. But now i’ve had time to breathe after getting ditched and I am keen to meet someone, so will continue dating, I wondered if it would be useful

 

[Clementine]

I hope so now I've complimented some random guy on a dating app

They all just are some random guy, aren’t they? Which is why we really shouldn’t care too much.

 

[hereforthememe]

I’ve been wondering, what’s everyone’s views on asking for feedback?

I saw someone on tiktok doing it…

Would you do it?
Have you done it?
What was the result?

I’ve personally never done it. But now i’ve had time to breathe after getting ditched and I am keen to meet someone, so will continue dating, I wondered if it would be useful

Absolutely not.

The things one guy may not like about me, another guy will love. For me, I just keep on being myself because one day it'll be enough for someone. I don't want to fall into the trap again of asking men for some kind of validation where I morph myself to fit their expectations.

 

[Katelove1989]

Absolutely not.

The things one guy may not like about me, another guy will love. For me, I just keep on being myself because one day it'll be enough for someone. I don't want to fall into the trap again of asking men for some kind of validation where I morph myself to fit their expectations.

Love this. This is so true!

 

[LaurieLaurie]

I’ve been wondering, what’s everyone’s views on asking for feedback?

I saw someone on tiktok doing it…

Would you do it?
Have you done it?
What was the result?

I’ve personally never done it. But now i’ve had time to breathe after getting ditched and I am keen to meet someone, so will continue dating, I wondered if it would be useful

NO!
The ones I have seen on TikTok make it sound like they have had a formal job interview when it’s clear he hasn’t had an ounce of interest and the conversation has been dead.

You need to learn to read the vibe and keep your dignity when it comes to dating. Never send more than one text, if you are the one that always texts first - stop, never ask them why they are being quiet, if you get any excuses they aren’t into you etc. It’s easy once you know the basics

 

[123qwe1]

Hey girls, I hope you're all well. I really need some advice and I'm writing this wanting to burst into tears.

Why do boys not text after the first date?

This is the second time this has happened to me. Both dates have never been awkward and always been good chat. I'm not an awkward person and I would say that I am attractive, but I never heard back and its absolutely crushing my confidence.

I went on a date last week, went so well and he was telling me he had told his friends about me, when I was leaving he said he really wants to see me again and then... nothing.

I text a day later saying thanks for a lovely evening and... nothing.

I know I sound a little dramatic but I am just wondering am I picking the wrong guys or is it something really wrong with me

 

[yankydoo]

Hey girls, I hope you're all well. I really need some advice and I'm writing this wanting to burst into tears.

Why do boys not text after the first date?

This is the second time this has happened to me. Both dates have never been awkward and always been good chat. I'm not an awkward person and I would say that I am attractive, but I never heard back and its absolutely crushing my confidence.

I went on a date last week, went so well and he was telling me he had told his friends about me, when I was leaving he said he really wants to see me again and then... nothing.

I text a day later saying thanks for a lovely evening and... nothing.

I know I sound a little dramatic but I am just wondering am I picking the wrong guys or is it something really wrong with me

Please don't take it personally. It's just part and parcel of dating these days. It is really rude of them not to let you down properly but this unfortunately happens a lot. Honestly, it's nothing to do with you at all and it's 100% them. Dating is really easy to do via the apps - by that I mean matching with lots of people and going on lots of dates, and therefore for some it's just fun and games and a way to pass time. Also, you just don't know what is going on in someone's life so this is another reason why you should never take it personally.

You will meet someone who wants to see you again, it's just a matter of time and you do have to put yourself out there and be prepared to get knockbacks.

In the meantime, keep saying to yourself these two guys were simply not for you and you had a lucky escape given they did not even have the courtesy to let you down nicely.

 

[Bagpuss7]

It's a numbers game...are most people just texting one person with a view to meeting only them ? Unlikely these days, the multiple chat / dating thing definitely seems to be popular from what I'm experiencing. I think if you can nail down a 2nd date and actually go on it then there is a chance things might progress but it's seemingly becoming the case that just seeing a person once is now a thing ! Sadly!

 

[Thank(space)you]

Hey girls, I hope you're all well. I really need some advice and I'm writing this wanting to burst into tears.

Why do boys not text after the first date?

This is the second time this has happened to me. Both dates have never been awkward and always been good chat. I'm not an awkward person and I would say that I am attractive, but I never heard back and its absolutely crushing my confidence.

I went on a date last week, went so well and he was telling me he had told his friends about me, when I was leaving he said he really wants to see me again and then... nothing.

I text a day later saying thanks for a lovely evening and... nothing.

I know I sound a little dramatic but I am just wondering am I picking the wrong guys or is it something really wrong with me

What's for you, won't pass you by. Those guys just aren't a good match for you, chalk it up to a nice date and experience.

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I was feeling rubbish about myself last night then all of a sudden a burst of positivity came and I wrote a list of 20 things that are awesome about me. Gonna refer back to the list whenever I'm feeling insecure. I've been realising how much self and inner work I need to do, and wondering if maybe that's why things haven't been working out romantically for me.