Could you marry someone poor/minimum wage?

[Vroomvroom]

I’ve always earned more than my husband. We’ve been together 17 years and it’s never been a problem. He works in local government services and the pay has been poor with few increases, luckily he’s had various promotions in more recent years. If he did the same job in a private company he’d earn way more but he loves his job.

But anyway it was more important to me to have someone I share interests with. Someone I love and loves me. I’m not interested in materialistic bullshit. We do have an Audi (one car between us) but it’s 14 years old! Life is much better when you are content and not always wanting to buy more and bigger! Enough money for a comfortable life is great, but the trinkets just not important.

 

[emm]

In my experience anyone who is adamant they don’t do MLM is actually 100% doing MLM just dressed up in a different way

This was my immediate thought too! Don't know jf anyone else watches/watched peep show but "the first thing to say is they this is NOT pyramid selling"

 

[miss_americana]

I’m not a troll im just stating the things I desire in life !

nothing

About 50k at the moment after advertising costs , it’s a part time lifestyle business for me as I have my child now (not MLM) , I do it around my child but my ambition and goal is it to grow it further once she starts nursery the ultimate goal is a six figure lifestyle business and in the longer term (10 year plan) grow it further to sell for enough money as part of my retirement for the future . My husband is the main earner in our household by far , fortunately most of my income is mostly disposable but I am saving and investing for the future which I think is so important no matter what you earn ( I believe everyone should aim to have at least a years salary put away just in case of a rainy day/emergencies and I think this is something we should now teach in schools ) , anyway to be honest a six figure household income is not enough these days after the ridiculous amount of tax you have to pay especially living London / Bucks and if you want to have a nice lifestyle … I also like eating out a lot ( but I don’t go into Mayfair/ central london so much now as I have little one so that’s helped me save more), and I like holidays nothing wrong with UK breaks if it’s in a nice place with nice accommodation ( not sure I could do camping though! ) but I just find the weather unpredictable here and it is nice to just get out the country I think a few times a year if you can , my biggest expenses are eating out , holidays , and other little things like nails and hair and Botox lool but all adds up , I’m actually not too fussed about designer clothes ( and yes I hate big labels that show, I do think that’s tacky unless your a footballer or sports person ) but I admit I love designer handbags ! In short , we are not super rich in case anyone is wondering, but I would say top 10% as a household income, his family though are millionaires with multiple assets so he will inherit a fair bit. I would actually class myself as quite down to earth I just like luxury things and I like talking about money and goals as does my husband he is extremely driven to be financially successful. I don’t need a Ferrari / Lamborghini but I don’t want to go back to having a basic car, I’m not criticising anyone else who maybe happy to drive a Ford / Skoda etc , I just would not really want to go back to that personally and nothing wrong with low paid work if that’s what people do I would just struggle to have the lifestyle I wanted, if to say we earned say a joint income of 50k a year as a family
---

Ffs I think your over thinking it now , yes who’s to say what’s a nice car mayb

not true I don’t care so long as people work and are not expecting to live off benefits their whole life (unless they are genuinely sick) , my point is the lifestyle people want and if you think you can be happy earning minimum wage / lower paid work and if you would be happy to be with someone who was content with that , I’m not bragging about anything I’m just responding to the person asked if I drive an Audi !

I actually didn’t ask if you drove an Audi. I suggested you did. You didn’t need to tell me you drive a Porsche and had a Range Rover.
Please use some of your extensive wealth to invest in some English lessons. Your use of grammar is appalling.

 

[Deeznutslol]

I’m not a troll im just stating the things I desire in life !

nothing

About 50k at the moment after advertising costs , it’s a part time lifestyle business for me as I have my child now (not MLM) , I do it around my child but my ambition and goal is it to grow it further once she starts nursery the ultimate goal is a six figure lifestyle business and in the longer term (10 year plan) grow it further to sell for enough money as part of my retirement for the future . My husband is the main earner in our household by far , fortunately most of my income is mostly disposable but I am saving and investing for the future which I think is so important no matter what you earn ( I believe everyone should aim to have at least a years salary put away just in case of a rainy day/emergencies and I think this is something we should now teach in schools ) , anyway to be honest a six figure household income is not enough these days after the ridiculous amount of tax you have to pay especially living London / Bucks and if you want to have a nice lifestyle … I also like eating out a lot ( but I don’t go into Mayfair/ central london so much now as I have little one so that’s helped me save more), and I like holidays nothing wrong with UK breaks if it’s in a nice place with nice accommodation ( not sure I could do camping though! ) but I just find the weather unpredictable here and it is nice to just get out the country I think a few times a year if you can , my biggest expenses are eating out , holidays , and other little things like nails and hair and Botox lool but all adds up , I’m actually not too fussed about designer clothes ( and yes I hate big labels that show, I do think that’s tacky unless your a footballer or sports person ) but I admit I love designer handbags ! In short , we are not super rich in case anyone is wondering, but I would say top 10% as a household income, his family though are millionaires with multiple assets so he will inherit a fair bit. I would actually class myself as quite down to earth I just like luxury things and I like talking about money and goals as does my husband he is extremely driven to be financially successful. I don’t need a Ferrari / Lamborghini but I don’t want to go back to having a basic car, I’m not criticising anyone else who maybe happy to drive a Ford / Skoda etc , I just would not really want to go back to that personally and nothing wrong with low paid work if that’s what people do I would just struggle to have the lifestyle I wanted, if to say we earned say a joint income of 50k a year as a family
---

Ffs I think your over thinking it now , yes who’s to say what’s a nice car mayb

not true I don’t care so long as people work and are not expecting to live off benefits their whole life (unless they are genuinely sick) , my point is the lifestyle people want and if you think you can be happy earning minimum wage / lower paid work and if you would be happy to be with someone who was content with that , I’m not bragging about anything I’m just responding to the person asked if I drive an Audi !

After reading this, I’m just gonna come out and say it

 

[miss_americana]

This was my immediate thought too! Don't know jf anyone else watches/watched peep show but "the first thing to say is they this is NOT pyramid selling"

The first rule of MLM club. This is not an MLM club

 

[Baby Giraffe]

@latranla respectfully, I have to say you’d bore me to tears. It sounds like your lifestyle is very materialistic, superficial and is one which isn’t sustainable on your income alone.
Im sad that with all the wealth you display you don’t mention the arts or anything remotely cultural, instead it’s Botox, nails, designer brands and a car bought from the efforts of someone else’s toil. It sounds like you’re really happy but it’s a lifestyle I’d never aspire to. I prefer culture, conversations and the arts. And my earnings are similar to yours, btw.
your lifestyle to me sounds like all style and no substance. I’m glad it’s unlikely our paths won’t cross.
I think you should have named the thread: did you luck out and marry a rich man like I did?

Exactly, the life sounds so empty with no depth at all. No mention of anything that's not glitzy and brash, no mention of culture, no mention of doing daft stuff with her kid, nothing that isn't for show and appearance. Such a shame and hopefully just the way it's worded and there is more to her life.

 

[latranla]

[

Over thinking what? I don’t need to over think anything because you’ve made your points perfectly clear. You’ve literally said that the thought of wearing primark would give you anxiety and you’d prefer your car to have “luxury”.

you’re now trying to back track on everything you’ve said. Even though you’ve just admitted you only earn 50k yourself and most of your money comes from your husband. Embarrassing or what.

I don’t even believe half of what you’re saying about yourself or your husband. You sound like a fantasist.

wearing prinark

Over thinking what? I don’t need to over think anything because you’ve made your points perfectly clear. You’ve literally said that the thought of wearing primark would give you anxiety and you’d prefer your car to have “luxury”.

you’re now trying to back track on everything you’ve said. Even though you’ve just admitted you only earn 50k yourself and most of your money comes from your husband. Embarrassing or what.

I don’t even believe half of what you’re saying about yourself or your husband. You sound like a fantasist.

yea I do like luxury items so what and don’t want to wear primark all the time so what !? Oh bore off with your self righteous crap and and while I only earn 50k it suits me well as it’s just part time and have a child and it’s a little start up recruitment business which I plan to grow ! Husband

Over thinking what? I don’t need to over think anything because you’ve made your points perfectly clear. You’ve literally said that the thought of wearing primark would give you anxiety and you’d prefer your car to have “luxury”.

you’re now trying to back track on everything you’ve said. Even though you’ve just admitted you only earn 50k yourself and most of your money comes from your husband. Embarrassing or what.

I don’t even believe half of what you’re saying about yourself or your husband. You sound like a fantasist.

Yes everything I said is made up we actually live in Slough and live in a 400k house and have a household income of 80k a year … hope that makes you feel better and I drive a 10k car maybe that will make you feel even more better… god forbid anyone who talks to you about wealth , luxury and wanting to grow / better themselves with a start up business and so what if I do t want to wear primark clothes all the time , why does it bother you so much !? I just like quality clothing never said it has to be designer clothes ! …

 

[Sunflower91]

I’ve been called a snob a few times for this but I find ambition an attractive quality. I want to find someone on my wavelength where learning or progression is important. I also find it helps with the power dynamic. I’ve been on both sides of the coin- relationships where my partner had 0 ambition and it just fostered some kind of jealousy or a lack of understanding/ support of my goals. But then also where the earnings themselves were quite equal but there were other finance elements held over my head towards the end (he owned the house and it became pretty clear it was something he was willing to hold over me). To that end my own financial future is important to me, I don’t want to be reliant on someone and maintain my independence but at the same time I don’t want someone who is potentially going to be reliant on me or expecting me to compromise on what’s important to me. I think sometimes it comes across as harsh saying out loud that career/goals matter to me but I kind of see it as a lifestyle thing a bit like a hobby only you spend more time doing it. Some people aren’t attracted to people without hobbies, I’m not attracted to people where there’s ambition misalignment.

 

[Deeznutslol]

[
wearing prinark

yea I do like luxury items so what and don’t want to wear primark all the time so what !? Oh bore off with your self righteous crap and and while I only earn 50k it suits me well as it’s just part time and have a child and it’s a little start up recruitment business which I plan to grow ! Husband


Yes everything I said is made up we actually live in Slough and live in a 400k house and have a household income of 80k a year … hope that makes you feel better and I drive a 10k car maybe that will make you feel even more better… god forbid anyone who talks to you about wealth , luxury and wanting to grow / better themselves with a start up business and so what if I do t want to wear primark clothes all the time , why does it bother you so much !? I just like quality clothing never said it has to be designer clothes ! …

So hang on, you’re on 50k, if your household income is 80k then that means your husband is on 30k? So how are you looking down your nose at people who are on minimum wage ?
Sounds like you need to tell your fella to work a bit harder if you want this sort of lifestyle!

 

[Sunlifeover50]

@latranla really genuine question. Earlier this month you started a thread “Money = happiness or at least a contributor?”. Now you’ve started this one- I’m just wondering if there’s something driving all this as you seem to be high earners? Do you think that lower earners are always unhappy???

 

[emm]

I’ve been called a snob a few times for this but I find ambition an attractive quality. I want to find someone on my wavelength where learning or progression is important. I also find it helps with the power dynamic. I’ve been on both sides of the coin- relationships where my partner had 0 ambition and it just fostered some kind of jealousy or a lack of understanding/ support of my goals. But then also where the earnings themselves were quite equal but there were other finance elements held over my head towards the end (he owned the house and it became pretty clear it was something he was willing to hold over me). To that end my own financial future is important to me, I don’t want to be reliant on someone and maintain my independence but at the same time I don’t want someone who is potentially going to be reliant on me or expecting me to compromise on what’s important to me. I think sometimes it comes across as harsh saying out loud that career/goals matter to me but I kind of see it as a lifestyle thing a bit like a hobby only you spend more time doing it. Some people aren’t attracted to people without hobbies, I’m not attracted to people where there’s ambition misalignment.

The issue is that ambition doesn't necessarily mean striving for more money it is also just striving to do your best in your job. I am jn a job that is pretty badly paid and has little scope for more but I like it and try and do my best every day. The idea that pay is indicative of how hard your work is/how important it is is ridiculous, as we all know the jobs that keep society working often tend to be vastly underpaid (ine isn't one of these it is just underpaid )

 

[RattyBumBum]

I have traditionally always been with partners who had money. It was a requirement of mine. Long story short, all those relationships didn’t work and they treated me terribly.

Fast forward now, I’m about to marry the love of my life, he works a manual job, and earns less than me. He has no desire to change his job. There is no progress there eother

But He is hard working in what he does, loves his job and his work mates and is so so mentally happy and goes to work every day smiling.

I encourage him to be ambitious in his happiness not his career and I help and encourage him to follow his interests and enjoy his hobbies. He in turn is emotional and physically so supportive of me and my mental needs my and everything else.

We have a beautiful house, which is majority paid for by me, but he makes it a home with the love and happiness he’s given to me and my kids.

So yes, I could and will marry someone with less money than me and I’m going to be so happy doing it.
But you do you! But be happy first and foremost

 

[Rippedjeanmaybe]

[
wearing prinark

yea I do like luxury items so what and don’t want to wear primark all the time so what !? Oh bore off with your self righteous crap and and while I only earn 50k it suits me well as it’s just part time and have a child and it’s a little start up recruitment business which I plan to grow ! Husband


Yes everything I said is made up we actually live in Slough and live in a 400k house and have a household income of 80k a year … hope that makes you feel better and I drive a 10k car maybe that will make you feel even more better… god forbid anyone who talks to you about wealth , luxury and wanting to grow / better themselves with a start up business and so what if I do t want to wear primark clothes all the time , why does it bother you so much !? I just like quality clothing never said it has to be designer clothes ! …

I actually wonder if you’re a bit stupid? Your lack of grammar and correct spelling certain makes it seems that way?

in case you hadn’t noticed, I’m not the only one making these comments about you. I think the only person that sees things the way you do, is you.

I don’t have an issue with you not wanting to wear primark, myself and others have an issue with you looking down your nose at those that do.

How do you know I don’t have wealth myself? This is the problem with people like you, you think you’re high and mighty and that everyone else is beneath you.

I don’t have an issue with you talking about “wealth” or “luxury”, I don’t have an issue with anyone talking about those kind of things, (you’re just presuming I don’t have those too because you like to look down your nose at everyone) I have an issue with you making snobbish remarks about people that you believe are beneath yourself.

This is the problem, you lack intelligence so you can’t come up with a constructive argument and you go back on yourself and you misunderstand points being made.

 

[latranla]

I actually didn’t ask if you drove an Audi. I suggested you did. You didn’t need to tell me you drive a Porsche and had a Range Rover.
Please use some of your extensive wealth to invest in some English lessons. Your use of grammar is appalling.

I didn’t even think it was ‘ showy ‘saying I used to drive a Range and now a Porsche as they are quite common anyway, like someone else said and I just happen to like 4x4 cars now and find it hard to go back to something like my first car my Toyota !

 

[Baby Giraffe]

The issue is that ambition doesn't necessarily mean striving for more money it is also just striving to do your best in your job. I am jn a job that is pretty badly paid and has little scope for more but I like it and try and do my best every day. The idea that pay is indicative of how hard your work is/how important it is is ridiculous, as we all know the jobs that keep society working often tend to be vastly underpaid (ine isn't one of these it is just underpaid )

Yes, I know somebody who I consider very ambitious but channels that ambition into running a soup kitchen. I admire her so much as she is really making a difference. She also does a low paid job that pays the bills but her worth as a person shouldn't be judged by her income.

 

[Dizzy]

This thread is WILD

 

[Sunlifeover50]

This thread is WILD

It’s a bit bonkers

 

[latranla]

I actually wonder if you’re a bit stupid? Your lack of grammar and correct spelling certain makes it seems that way?

in case you hadn’t noticed, I’m not the only one making these comments about you. I think the only person that sees things the way you do, is you.

I don’t have an issue with you not wanting to wear primark, myself and others have an issue with you looking down your nose at those that do.

How do you know I don’t have wealth myself? This is the problem with people like you, you think you’re high and mighty and that everyone else is beneath you.

I don’t have an issue with you talking about “wealth” or “luxury”, I don’t have an issue with anyone talking about those kind of things, (you’re just presuming I don’t have those too because you like to look down your nose at everyone) I have an issue with you making snobbish remarks about people that you believe are beneath yourself.

I have 0 issues with you not wanting to wear primark. This is the problem, you lack intelligence so you can’t come up with a constructive argument and you go back on yourself and you misunderstand points being made.

When have I ever mentioned looking down on someone ? I just said I would struggle to marry / date someone who only ever wanted to say earn 25-30k a year until they are 40/50 years old due to the lifestyle I desire and that I would like want them to desire too!

 

[Baby Giraffe]

I didn’t even think it was ‘ showy ‘saying I used to drive a Range and now a Porsche as they are quite common anyway, like someone else said and I just happen to like 4x4 cars now and find it hard to go back to something like my first car my Toyota !

How can you not know that both a Range Rover and Porsche are higher end vehicles? Of course you do and if you drive up the motorway they are certainly in the relative minority of the vehicles being driven. Personally I'd not want either of them, I don't feel any need for a 4x4 as I don't live in an area where I need that (but that doesn't stop the idiots that park them up the kerb on the school drop off near me either) and think they're over priced for what they are. You've no idea if I could afford them or not but just because you find them desirable doesn't mean that other people do. Quite a few of us associate the things you desire with chavvy social climbers who think they're something special.

 

[Rippedjeanmaybe]

When have I ever mentioned looking down on someone ? I just said I would struggle to marry / date someone who only ever wanted to say earn 25-30k a year until they are 40/50 years old due to the lifestyle I desire and that I would like want them to desire too!

HAHAHA are you being serious?

hun, you didn’t need to say you look down on anyone, we KNOW you look down on people because of the comments you have made.

are you really that stupid that you can’t see how offensive, crass, snobby and frankly embarrassing some of your comments have been?