The threads we are going to have on here when this holiday happens are going to be on another level.
- The B&M suitcases with the ''hands off'' luggage tags and matching passport holders likely with his initials engraved cause he is so classy.
- The wetherspoons lethal aperol spritz before he boards the plane
- Flashing the shart card to get on the plane first because he's Deek's carer or maybe the other way around, who knows. Two braindead gimps.
- The picture of the clouds from the plane window, the little bottles of gin and a tub of mini pringles, taking selfies in their matching outfits
- Picture of the luggage carousel while waiting on their bags no doubt complaining about the flight even though it will have been a 2 hr journey but our Martin just can't travel, wee sickness bug and now has the sharts
- Moaning as soon as he gets to the hotel because the transfer bus took 3 hrs dropping people off and they were the last to get off the bus. Has heat stroke from the bus having no air con.
- 47823208 pictures at all different angles of the pool saying things like ''Never coming home'', ''I've had worse Mondays'', ''How's your day going?''
- Complaining he has the sharts from the all you can eat buffet
- Complaining he's burnt
- Does nothing all week other than lift to the floor with the food because he hates it
- Lying with the aircon full boot in the bedroom, curtains drawn and watching some spanish tv because he's not feeling well
- Can't wait to get home, misses his wee lassie
- Can't wait to get home as the heat just isn't for him
- Can't wait to get home from the British resort (full off chippies etc) because he can't handle the food but returns home to eat bland, beige chippy/wetherspoons/jam jar food and then will say ''well deserved'' or ''I so missed home food''
- Has a ton of
bleep washings to do
- Posts pictures for the next year ''Take me back!''
- Q&A on the resort & that wee bespoke country Spain.
Cant wait hens, can't bloody wait
