Do youse like ma profile pic lovelies ah couldnae resist that rid raw bulbous beak
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Ill no lie, it makes me boak. But it is a good theme wae your bespoke user name and so hold your phone high & keep your power my lovelie.Do youse like ma profile pic lovelies ah couldnae resist that rid raw bulbous beak
Posting from about 5 pages back (keeping up with Jack’s chaos is a full time joab just now).
Is he taking the bleeping piss? ‘XMAS HAUL’. It’s august. The weather is stunning. Jesus wept.
Is he taking the bleeping piss? ‘XMAS HAUL’. It’s august. The weather is stunning. Jesus wept.
It matches your username perfectlyDo youse like ma profile pic lovelies ah couldnae resist that rid raw bulbous beak
Wee Martin is chanting Soph on from the rooftops the day ma lovelies. He’s not seething with jealousy at all. He’s absolutely fine
fine, so aye. Fine. He’s fine.
"So ready to see your life's now"...Ffs you couldn't make the grammar in his posts upIt matches your username perfectly
Wee Martin is chanting Soph on from the rooftops the day ma lovelies. He’s not seething with jealousy at all. He’s absolutely fine
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Yeah, Soph obviously wasn't thinking of you and Deek for the house was she
The spiky hair on his hands.
Mario shaves his hands. Pass it on
Mario shaves his hands. Pass it on
I cannae believe he's styled his hand hair just like his head hair. He's obsessed!
Mario on his way tae hospital fur his papae cut
Nae way is this little wanker wasting NHS time for a cat scratch.. what’s the betting he gets a wee unfit for work sign off as well he couldnae possibly wear gloves to clean with his injury!! PS Mario when you scope here later, boots do steri strips 
saves you wasting the NHS time but I’m sure they will also provide you with some peppa pig plasters which may be more fitting 
he couldnae possibly wear gloves to clean with his injury!! PS Mario when you scope here later, boots do steri strips saves you wasting the NHS time but I’m sure they will also provide you with some peppa pig plasters which may be more fitting 
All his posts should come with a trigger warning
I've had deeper paper cuts Martin.
A local takeaway once had Donna Kebab on their menu.mirrow instead of mirror or he’s instead of hisI can’t cope with wrong spelling! It irritates the life out of me
Mebbes it wiz like the Mario bed and they named it after an influencer.
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Trigger warning?! For a scratch! Honestly, hens, i'm the most squeamish person on the planet and I wouldn't even have given that a second look!
Needs a stitch
duck he is winding me up good a proper. Bet he phoned in sick, reason being he has a very deep half a millimetre wound to the hand and cannae clean the truncheons the lazy bald bastid.
He’s defo hoping the A&E staff tell him he can’t work with that cut. I used to work with someone who would go to the GP/A&E at the drop of a hat so she could get the day off or a wee sick line.
Although I’m still CONVINCED he has munchausens!
stick two steri strips on that, a water proof plaster and wear ur rubber gloves when cleaning mario - and that’s advice coming from a nurse! I hope he gets kept waiting for 14hrs
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Although I’m still CONVINCED he has munchausens!
stick two steri strips on that, a water proof plaster and wear ur rubber gloves when cleaning mario - and that’s advice coming from a nurse! I hope he gets kept waiting for 14hrs
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Definitely trying to get a few days aff work. The wee prick wants to claim disability for a paper cut. Or there’s a big event coming up that he’s no been invited to and he need an excuse not to go.
Or he's no want to miss the postman wi his new crimbo tat.
HAS HE STOPPED BLEEDING YET I'M VERY WORRIED
"Trigger warning" 
Will he ever stop being an absalooooote PRICK?
Will he ever stop being an absalooooote PRICK?
Odd that he's never been on with a selfie showing his stitched hand.
And we want to see those stitches, not just a plaster saying they're underneath or it never happened
And we want to see those stitches, not just a plaster saying they're underneath or it never happened
Hunner percent he’s the type to check in at A&E on Facebook
I practically needed A&E myself I ran here that quick in this 30 degree heat (I'm sure when I concentrate I can smell Christmas pine and hear sleighbells).
duck off is that crusty, fish lipped, nose like a builders elbow bleep wasting NHS time for that!!
What a absolute bellend!!!!
duck off is that crusty, fish lipped, nose like a builders elbow bleep wasting NHS time for that!!
What a absolute bellend!!!!
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