I’m on a night shift n I’m sat clutching my beak. Nurse is looking at me like I’ve lost the plot. Especially that oil rig picture. I’m completely 
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Now hens, correct me if I’m wrong, but wasn’t he spotted at a Spice Girls concert looking like he had his sharty y-fronts shoved under his nose.
Wee Deek was loving life
Wee Deek was loving life
I’ll add this to the list of things that are never going to happen, I don’t think his orthopaedic trainers would cope in the mud either
I'd buy him a Glastonbury ticket myself just to see how he copes. I did t in the park a good few years ago (smell the wealth) and you're just no prepared for the filth. No amount of febreze is getting the stink aff, so aye
My brother used to go every single year and when he came back after it my maw would make him strip his stinking clothes off and empty his washing at the back door and he was telt to get in the shower for at least half an hour to destink
He's shown the locals he has nothing worth the effort via his IG. A TV that's too small for even a small 'media wall', cheapest chromebooks available, a velvetiser and a shark. Unless they are specifically in the market for some fruit syrups full of crap, a million seasonal mugs, degrading make up or a wonky console table, there are probably flats empty longer than Mario's few minutes a day working or trip for the terrible looking chippy teas where they can get the same, or possibly better, electronics (and without having to deal with the smell of his diet).
Rayn, Rayn go away, daddy’a aff to Glasto!
Do McGills buses do Glastonbury???
Do McGills buses do Glastonbury???
Does Glastonbury do Klarna?
Get your glitter and wellies ready hens, we aff on a wee Glasto jurnee! I would actually pay good money I earned from my joab, to see this little prick at a festival
In fairness, the bedsit is on par with sleeping in a tiny tent.
I’m here for the Bumming fort on tour jurnee!
In fairness, the bedsit is on par with sleeping in a tiny tent.
I’m here for the Bumming fort on tour jurnee!
I love how he says “rumour has it Victoria as well”, like he has a hotline tae Perez bleeping Hilton.
Such a delusional bleep
Such a delusional bleep
That or he's been reading mair than just his ain thread on here ma lovelies so ayeI love how he says “rumour has it Victoria as well”, like he has a hotline tae Perez bleeping Hilton.
Such a delusional bleep
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To be fair I'd pay for a glasto ticket just to see mare walking around with wee rayn in his handbag like Paris Hilton trying to get in VIP 'do youse know who I am, am Mario from the app, I've a huge platform!'
Back in his tent getting aw cosy by 8pmGet your glitter and wellies ready hens, we aff on a wee Glasto jurnee! I would actually pay good money I earned from my joab, to see this little prick at a festival
In fairness, the bedsit is on par with sleeping in a tiny tent.
I’m here for the Bumming fort on tour jurnee!
His pressure cooker plugged intae wan o the plugs oan the main stage boiling his mince.
Dead at youse safety bastards. Vicky won't be at any reunion while she's trying to be a fashun desyner. She's perfected her (quite hilarious) Anna Wintour impersonation, can't really throw her anorexic body around the stage while playing pretend ice queen.
Ah thought she'd be there throwing oot bespoke Mario wax melts tae the crowd.
Better hope Ozzy Osbourne disnae bite Rayn's heid aff.
Does he have any idea how difficult it is to get tickets to Glasto? He would be pyoor crabbit when he inevitably misses out.
Mebbe he thinks he will get gifted some VIP tickets due tae his celeb status
Mebbe he thinks he will get gifted some VIP tickets due tae his celeb status
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