Well it's good tae ken ye ken when tae stay in yer ain lane my loverlyThe app didn't choose me ma lovely, sad times
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I’m still laughing at this today lmao just so so funny!!! @hopethishelpsallthebest utterly bespoke. Me since yesterday:
Looks like Fagin! 
You gotta pick a pocket or two!
Anyone know if Wee Deek got a thorough boning last night, at the"footie".....
Head like a retired bog brush....
At this point his hairlines had enough eh his pish and is trying to escape 
I mean who else buys a laptop just to watch tele when “ I don’t really watch tele”She’s some kind of bleep ain’t she? bleeping watching Netflix on the laptop when he has two proper TVs within 4ft of each other
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That beak 
you'd think he would be taking advantage of masks to cover it, I know I am with my chins 
you'd think he would be taking advantage of masks to cover it, I know I am with my chins 
People get boob jobs on the NHS if their tits don’t grow surely way a beak lit that he could get it on them anaw?
Aw that money for autumn decorations could’ve went tae a rhinoplasty fund
The nose, the chins, the (lack of) hair… I. Just. Can’t!!!!
He gets the laptop because the phone screen is too small for his bespoke Kerry Katona eyes but then proceeds to watch TV on said laptop, instead of watching TV on the bigger TV screen just metres away?! I’m really struggling to see what the laptop is for other than to show off and makes us smell his wealth.
Does anyone else think Derek resembles wee Romeo Beckham? Please tell me am no the only wan that sees it! If so, I’ll need to get checked for the Kerry Katonas disease.
His nose is like the creepy Easter Bunny from Teen Titans Go. Also the bald patches have me decked today hens he will hate those screenshots
bleeping hell, let’s hope his teeth are strong when he crunches into this garlic bread.. that makes Essex folk look anaemic!
Ps; nae offence lovelies to any of you from Essex - just a bit a banter, so aye and so forth
Ps; nae offence lovelies to any of you from Essex - just a bit a banter, so aye and so forth
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He’s tried to hide his salt with the Parmesanbleeping hell, let’s hope his teeth are strong when he crunches into this garlic bread.. that makes Essex folk look anaemic!
Ps; nae offence lovelies to any of you from Essex - just a bit a banter, so aye and so forth
Evening ma lovelies… i have just been looking at our poor Marion’s hair… and I found something he NEEDS ma lovelies… maybe set up a go fund me cos its £26 but aye, £65 pillowcovers… anywayz - enjoy
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Aye hen he is a pure doop fur wee romeo Beckham so aye nae debates
Thanks for the validation ma lovelie. A dinnae dae this for the (Instagram) validation!!! Am livin ma life as it should be lived. Mario is well punching though eh
when will Deek wake up!That dinner looks as dry as bleeping sticks ma lovelies
Mmmmm said Dezza....... never 
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