Cleaning With Mario #6 and so forth

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Notgonnalie

This thread always brings me proper belly laughs where I vibrate because I’m laughing so hard I nearly cry - thank you to everyone who contributes you never fail!!!

i Reckon Danielle only gifted that to him cause she couldn’t flog it herself and she had no storage place left for it, it’s absolutely honking stinking. It has purple undertones which completely clashes with all the other shades of grey in that padded plush cell. And I know he’s a skinny wee drip but I think he’ll even struggle to keep his arse on that
 
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cleaningupthecrap

Well Melvin is right, it is a dark time on instasham when you innocently go to see someone's new bespoke sofa and your eyes are accosted by that monstrosity.

The fucking misaligned blingy studs, the arsehole scatter cushions, the fact that there doesn't appear to be a back and the absolute bellend who keeps referring to it as bespoke.

I'm girding my loins and taking courage already for the jurnehhh through the velour gold mines of Danielle's emporium. I wonder if Melvin will wear his knock off LV scarf and Gooch-i trainers to blend into the surroundings?
 
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Cunnyfunt1

Shite sofa aside. I have noticed that is no longer getting freebies from anyone else. Loads of folk have been getting all the new fabulousa he didn’t and those air fresheners he used to get. Suppose he hasn’t done any cleaning on his account for about 6 months. For a while it was shite gifts every other day now it’s been a couple of months and not much. Maybe he isn’t the saviour of small businesses he makes out to be.
 
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Headintheclouds82

He’s branching out nowadays. He’s better than a pound bottle of disinfectant and a couple of plug ins.
He’s the second coming, Jesus himself would bow down in the presence of Margaret and the journeee he takes folk on as he waves his magic salad fingers over them to bless them with love and light and all that is in his “who circle” should be on their fucking knees for him!

Godspeed!
 
Reactions: 12
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Anti-influencer

My ears bleed each time he says “bespoke” I’d love to slide into his messages to let him know that actually means custom made to order and not mass produced at some shite factory but then I’d get blocked and would miss the grand reveal of the wallpaper in the kitchen that he has already showed us
 
Reactions: 7

irishbelle Thnak

Hey Mario

Did ye have a wee look oan here earlier pal ye did didn't ye.

It's only banter .... ach ye know yer sel - it's a Scottish thing.

Hope youse enjoy yer new couches - they're something else and so forth.
 
Reactions: 24

Jeaniepeanie

It'll be a week in playa del ingles for pride no doubt. Where he'll be hounded by aw his lovlies in the basement of a cruising bar while he's strung up by some plush grey ribbon looking like a cheap gammon joint
 
Reactions: 13
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D2theyawn

Oh I miss the days of the skincare routine and his lip syncing to power ballads.
Someone gift this rocket some bodyshop cream so we don’t have to burn our retinas looking at that bastard couch anymore
 
Reactions: 5

Starrysky

I’ve just bloody remembered his thanks to the nurses and the ‘national service’ that looked after his dad. So apparently his dad is being looked after by military nurses didn’t realise the national service was still a thing?
Mouldy Melvin you thick turd, it’s National HEALTH Service. The ‘H’ in NHS should have been a big clue. How is he so dim?!
 
Reactions: 15

Bestlife@60

I feel even sorrier for Derek now. Can you imagine if they row, fucking Marion Poppins telling him ‘ Aye it’s youse flat but all this gorgeous plush, bespoke furniture in it is mine, all mine, gifted to ME because I’m the chosen one’
 
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Exhausted Pigeon

Jeez how much shite has he accumulated? There's not enough room in there to swing a cat!

Oh this bit is for you(se) Melv....
 
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CrazyCatLady101

Putting this out there...I am not a Melvin fan but wondered what you meant by this? I have had a council house in the past and had to pay for carpets to be laid? I decorated the full house before I moved in too. I guess even oor Melvin doesn't want to live in a shit hole. how could he then turn on insta?!

I hope Rayn plucks it to fuck. its terrible hes kept in the hall when they are out at work. she should have full run of the house, after all hes her hoose tae!! bastard doesn't even have a scratching post for her so its no wonder she goes for the shitty cheap wallpaper!!

I think we should all try and save Derek, I don't see why hes with Melvin at all. he seams like a nice sweet down to earth guy who has been kidnapped by this cunt and doesn't see a way out!!

PS, Melvin if you read this, do Rayn a favor and buy a scratching post from amazon, you can even get them in Gray & cream....needs to be a tall one mind and with your skills of building flat packs now it should be easy for you......they are under £50 quid, so, with all the money you just saved (and made from the old sofa sale) get her one and stop moaning!
 
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Tracy2019

Well He obviously doesn’t understand what bespoke means he has a 3+2 of standard suite mine is bespoke as I had to measure the space it was going in and get it made to fit that space now mario that’s bespoke and it will last longer than his as I don’t lie on it Fuk I hardly sit on I’m at work all the time lol and I most certainly don’t need to spray it with all those smelly products he really is up himself and fuking annoying the life out of me
Any way Marion enjoy your suite in the cold Scottish weather while I’m lying in 35degrees in the Maldives roasting my little arse off so aye.... ATB
 
Reactions: 9

Bestlife@60

wether he owns it or not doesn’t matter. Council tenants decorate and furnish there homes too. Not everyone is in a position to buy/own there own property. I’m definitely not a Mario fan but totally get that he doesn’t want to live in a shit hole. ( not a dig, just my opinion)
 
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Cunnyfunt1

I don’t think they are having a go at council tenants. There was nothing wrong with it they way it was the carpets etc are fine. I think they may mean he spends an absolute fortune on that house and shite to go in it and the area he lives is a total shite hole. It’s full of junkies and is mega run down. Personally if I lived there I wouldn’t put any money into it at all I would be to busy trying to save to get out of there and with the house prices in that area are really low. And having rats in my loft. He could buy a flat that is in a better area than his for about £30,000 you can actually get flats as cheap as £5,000 in his area.
 
Reactions: 6
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