Cleaning with Mario #55 Contradicting with Mario. So aye…so naw

[Runforestrun]

Ma lovelies, the nut job that is Turtle Creek Lane has been doing her valentines trees today. Lovers Lane rather than candy cane lame! I wonder why oor Marion doesnee adopt the same boujee tree journey oor Jen does, then he’d never have a decorating come down ever again. Once she’s done with valentines it’s on to Easter so loads of time for buying endless shit!

 

[menopausalmargrit]

Ah’d happily contribute tae a Gofundme tae send them oan a holiday. Purely because the threads we wid get wid be hilarious. Let’s get them tae some shitehole in Benidorm ma lovelies.

Imagine him watching Sticky Vicky fire ping pong balls oot her chuff?

 

[SuzyE]

If looks could kill

No Mario, she's wanting to know when you're going to piss off so her and Derek can get their home back

 

[Skyflier6727]

WTAF is that on one side of his heid?

 

[Babybail93]

So he was influenced by Hannah? The difference is Mario, Hannah has a pot to fucking piss in!

 

[Doodlebug71]

NO WAY! L?? How do you know? Is she still on insta? I still follow her old account but she hasn’t posted for months.

I just remembered a couple of weeks before Christmas Melv said he was getting a visit from ‘H’ does anyone remember? We wondered if it was to be Hannah or Hinch. I just remembered it and wondered if Hinch had promised him a visit but cried off rather than just ignoring him.

It was H for hoosing coming to collect fuhll rent and a wee trim of his 3 hairs hen.

 

[Badaboom]

I think they’re meat baws, hen, lots of innuendo on a plate and probably more action than he gets in Paisley Towers.

More cheap polyester bedding, ffs (White, no cream, it’s the lighting.) Marion, get yersels a couple of decent sets of cotton bedding, you’ll not sweat like a pig and have to change it every other day, barring IBS episodes, of course.

Does anyone know anyone under the age of 80 that calls a pillowcase, a pillow slip? Nope me neither.

 

[OhhBacon]

with the amount her spent on aftershave and candy cane lane he could have saved all that money for a deposit for a new house x

Yep.
A grand on scent, a couple of grand on candy cane lame, half a grand on Autumn, a couple of grand on a living room makeover!
Add in his constant beige meals out and takeways.

What's that over £5,500? He could save a house deposit if they really put some effort in. Wasting that much money really makes me feel ill.

 

[mrsbucket]

Shall we place our bets noo for the words/phrases he will use when he takes us oan his perfume jurnee? I believe our lovelie @OhhBacon started us aff...

Gorgeous
Beautiful
Classy
Fresh
Absolute staypul
Wealthy

Any more?

 

[Booboo76]

Please tell me he thinks” pour homme” is the name of that Givenchy aftershave!

 

[laynelo_]

“It’s from Ariana Grande the singer” As apposed tae Ariana Grande the fucking actor?? Twat. Stop buying wee girl perfumes when your a 38 year old man. I recommend that naebody watch the thousand dots a doom, I ended up falling asleep during it and had tae rewatch it. Horrific.

 

[Johnnoijones]

If you don’t style either outfit with a pair of white socks and doop UGG slippers then you’re dain it aw wrang!!! Get some class!!!

Took your advice and got right onto shein and used my Christmas money for this.

 

[Caramel Swirl]

I’m still struggling to comprehend how he can go on his stories and announce to 100,000 people he’s got bisto gravy shooting out of his back passage and not even bat an eyelid about it

 

[DesperadosRUs]

I was when he said it lasts longer if you spray it on your skin. Like have I been doing perfume wrang all these years ma loveliees? Where else would you spray it?

Only skin he used to wear it on was his Pube Forrest skin. So aye

What does derek do for a living? ( newbie here.. came over from the hinch thread and I’m Scottish and firmly in meh ane lane haha)

I’m sure he works for a department store……. The well known food hall one that has adverts like

‘this Just isn’t any perfume, this perfume is reekin o wealth and babes’ if you know you know, if you don’t then get to know

 

[Johnnoijones]

I don't think they have the capacity to manage the airport. They could not manage arriving for a restaurant booking without fucking it up

 

[Badaboom]

Uh oh, Curtis is back on the gram. Curtis is the guy that Deek was dancing with at the Ava May party when Melv locked him out of the hotel room. Hope Melv doesn’t get triggered by his return

 

[Rayne]

Healthy eating journay is over ma lovelies

 

[Johnnoijones]

More beige food I see. And a wee set menu too. I bet they have been round the Paisley centre too. If you don't know what the Paisley centre is get to know

 

[Old Banger Bett]

Wit the frigg is Marvin deing hayin awl them hairbrushes?

 

[instainsta2021]

imagine him on holiday. He would be up and out at 8am going a look round the shops and markets. Shouting at Derek cause he can’t find a B&M and back to the hotel and all cosy by 5.30pm shouting the food is not what he wants xx