Cleaning With Mario #5 So aye.....

[Wetmyplants]

This is fucking intolerable! I had got into my grey nightie and hoosecoat all ready for the reveal and now it's not happening. The fucking dingbat can't get anything right. I hope they have to smash his front door in to get the grey plush monstrosity through the doors

Ive been sat at my desk all day, getting shite off customers and I was looking forward to seeing this gifted monstrosity to make up for my wanky Monday.

My heed is pure wobbling.

 

[Whoswho]

Boils my piss when he's been gifted something and then buys from a bargain store. He was gifted a throw from Made in Chunky, but when he wanted another he went to Primark! Same with the wallpaper, gets gifted some from one firm, but when he wants some for another room he goes to Ebay.

That's not supporting small business that's being a greedy tight-arsed cunt!

This is what I thought? I had to go and check that ladies wallpaper website to see if she done brick effect and she does? So why not support her and purchase your kitchen paper seeing as she’s been kind enough to gift you a room? My eyes are starting to open to mario, and I used to really love him , he’s all about the free stuff and as much as he can get, quite embarrassing for him though that he’s done that

 

[Kaydeelaydee]

So the decorator is coming on Thursday and needs to have finished up and cleared out on the same day to allow the crapet fitters in on Friday.

Now maybe it's just me, but would you not scrape off the existing wallpaper first then set about any crumbly bits of plaster with polyfilla, which needs to dry then be sanded down BEFORE putting the new paper up? And that's supposing you're lucky enough not to have to get a plasterer in cos the walls are too far gone for just a bit of filler. (Been there done that)

Or do we reckon Melvins going to half-arse it and have the decorator just paper over the top of the existing stuff?

 

[Jacquilou]

Can I just ask why the national service has been looking after our Melvins dad

 

[Johnnoijones]

I bet he ‘worked’ with this wallpaper company because they do not use ‘herms’.
We all seem to have time on our hands, I think we should set up a fake business account on Instagram and offer to take him on a new journey and gift him some bespoke curtains for his living room and send him a cardboard cutout of himself including the wobbly head and his catchphrase ‘so aye’

 

[Bestlife@60]

Herms, fucking HERMES! It’s pronounced bastard Her Mees ya divy cunt!!

 

[Rocketllama]

Duno why his mums taking them all out for dinner to thank them for helping with their dad. Melvin done fuck all! Went and seen him once so he could take a pic to post on insta.

 

[Jo-Min99]

I know everyone has been talking about how moanio was talking about Derek but I was also astonished at the amount of condensation on the windows!!!!!!!!!

 

[Starrysky]

All you hear is Mario say MY hoose , MY stuff etc he literally has no respect for Derek and certainly does not treat him as an equal. Dereks lovely and he certainly deserves much better.

Derek is a love bless him. It was his home before Mazza shat glitter everywhere. Derek made it a home. Not Baldy cunt face! He’s really wound me up today. I doubt he’s even on the tenancy hence Derek going to the cooncil offices about letterbox gate.
Derek... grab the cat (can’t bring myself to say her ridiculous name) and do one!

 

[Bec3007]

Being Scottish ISNT an excuse to talk to/about your partner that way. I’m Scottish, I’m sure a lot of us here are and yes me and my other half like a laugh but we never ever call one another awful names. There’s banter and then there’s sheer nastiness!

 

[Tracy2019]

Absolute bollocks - weather isn’t that bad in this area now.
He would have known well before now if that had been the case.

Not in his defence in any way but Danielle isn’t very good with communication she actually says more than her prayers and she better hope my stuff is delivered before I get home or she will wish she had never met me Iv waited near 2 months for my stuff from her and it Moanio gets his ASAP there is defos gonna be a riot on her insta and Facebook page trust me il wipe the fuking floor with her she was suppose to fone me tonight and hasn’t bothered her arse to busy sorting fuking mario out omg the rage I feel is real and I’m on my bloody holiday aswell

Not in his defence in any way but Danielle isn’t very good with communication she actually says more than her prayers and she better hope my stuff is delivered before I get home or she will wish she had never met me Iv waited near 2 months for my stuff from her and it Moanio gets his ASAP there is defos gonna be a riot on her insta and Facebook page trust me il wipe the fuking floor with her she was suppose to fone me tonight and hasn’t bothered her arse to busy sorting fuking mario out omg the rage I feel is real and I’m on my bloody holiday aswell

See if the fuker gets pink cushions with his couch il be telling her to cancel mine as I’m not having the fuking same as him and anyways mine was ordered away back in sept for moving in on 3rd Dec I don’t need no insta to decorate or dress my wee hoose!!! Lying in the Maldives with the rage ripping out me I’m 5 hrs ahead of you’s lot so Iv got ages to wait lol gonna be along night

 

[lauramars]

Marios new post about something exciting tomorrow! I predict a swyft couch.. same as little miss mops

 

[Mack84]

Timeless, classic, statement

looks like you just glued kitchen linoleum to the walls

 

[Jeaniepeanie]

So after ranting previously about the overly accessorized chair that nobody ever sits on, there's wee Dezza sitting on that very same just-for-show chair. Then i realised the couch must be away. He's deliberately not showing that part of his lounge and he's never mentioned replacing the couch.

I wonder why he's being so coy about that?

Aw ma lovlie, they were just sitting eating a pizza crunch an there was a knock at the door an it was sumdy wae a brand new couch. It was a total surprise and it's sheer beautiful and such such good quality

 

[Butthatsnoneofmybusiness]

I absolutely hate this guy. I’m past the point of loving to hate him - he’s a complete wanker.

 

[Shivers]

Moanio is that you?

 

[menopausalmargrit]

Aw honestly I can’t help but love Derek.
I just feel like he’s a proper genuine lad smiling his little way through life.
Look at his no carpets and his proud little tree selfie!

God bloody love him.

That’s it, I’m messaging him on Facebook.

 

[Wetmyplants]

Mario, can you take us on a new internal doors and skirting journeh next? Yours are gopping

 

[cleaningupthecrap]

*putting my delusional detective skills to work again*

Hmmm, so we have ripped his decor and the way he speaks to Derek and his dubious claim to being a Saint saviour of small businesses (I think I need to trade mark that title) and "someone" (yes Melvin, I'm doing the strangler fingers again ) has sent him a message addressing all these points in an arse licking post complete with spelling mistakes and plenty of 'youse' and 'use' thrown in for good measure.

You ain't fooling anyone you cockwomble, she's a friend or relative and she has simply cut and pasted the message you typed to put on your stories.

And like one of my esteemed colleagues noted earlier, a good carpet fitter is in demand, so if he just started his instagram page today and gained 933 followers, then that's one possible reason why. The other reason could be that it's because he appeared on your page, in which case, well done, give yourself a big pat on the back. I'm sure that the carpet fitter will go forth and feed his family with the likes from your sheep and sleep easy in bed tonight knowing that his business longer needs cash in the bank, just followers recommended by you.

 

[Kikini Bamalam]

From Melvin's witterings and Derek just staring off into space a lot of the time, I've come to the conclusion that for Melv & Dez to finish a 15 piece puzzle in a day would be a massive achievement. It gives me a headache to think how truly dumb these 2 are.