Cleaning With Mario #5 So aye.....

[Divinechat]

I know of Derek (from other people) from the Glasgow gay scene and let’s just say, he was a good time guy. I have no idea what he’s doing with Moana.

I really think he was a one night stand who Derek has not managed to get to leave

 

[Headintheclouds82]

God bloody love him.

That’s it, I’m messaging him on Facebook.

tell him we all love him and we are constantly with him in love and light!

And he was so traumatized by the whole ordeal that when he came back to his senses (I use this term loosely) he was in Home Bargains with no recollection of his he got there

“I came aroond in home bargains clutching a crushed velvet scatter cushion, shit all over the floor from the stress with ma ibs. So, ayeeee”....

This is definitely my favourite thread on here. I howl at some of the posts. Anyone who doesn’t know about our lord Christ saviour Margaret is missing out.

 

[cleaningupthecrap]

I really don't know how brave Saint Saviour Melvin keeps going, with his 'IBS', his near blindness, fear of crossing roads, his 'stoma', his exzeeeema, his dry lips and now his bad shoulder. The wobble head is pure inspiration. ETA: His devastating sleep pattern

SAID NO-ONE EVER!

 

[cleaningupthecrap]

Thank you, l am so nosey! I still wonder why he didn't mention it on insta but was up to Derek to sell. He's an odd ball!

You say odd ball, I say greedy, vain, strangler fingered knob rot

 

[menopausalmargrit]

GARUNTE! I am howling! I keep pronouncing it in a french accent then buckling.

Anyway, my beautiful fellow minority group tattlers, I’m 7 gins and 2 red wines in so I’m signing off because who knows who I might message tonight!

 

[Exhausted Pigeon]

Insuferable! I’m excited for Derek to be buzzing with the new carpets in his flat mind! Little love!

Derek will be living in the hallway in Rayn's teepee. "Youse ain't walking on mah nee flairz with them feet Derek, Get tae fuck!"

 

[Bec3007]

I don’t think he’s got IBS I think he just gets the nervous shits which let’s be honest, everyone in their life time has a nervous shit.

 

[Wheretonext]

Think I’ve rattled his cage. I sent a DM about how he has spoken about Derek. Oh dear. His immediate and frank response, makes me think I touched a nerve! Probably be a story about it, shortly!!

It’s taking me all my energy NOT to message the little prick. His father is in hospital after a serious operation, he was using his “platform” last week to reach out to his sheep to help a guy that’s sick and this is how he’s behaving. All because he decided to decorate his, well actually Dereks flat. He’s sat, looking at his own shit. Piles of his own shit. He’s built the big reveal out to be something that’s not all that fabulous after all. He can’t click his fingers, he actually has to do a bit of work. He over looked the fact the decorator only does the decorating. Oh and let’s not forget, he has to go back to “a full time job”
What? Does the ugly little squany little prick think that fully time workers don’t decorate their homes?

Derek, if you do read this thread, do yourself a favor and get rid of the little prick out of your home and life. It won't get any better than this. This is just the tip of the iceberg.
Imagine if Derek was sick and he had to look after Him?!! He wouldn't. He’s a selfish orange scaldy prick.

rant over. For now!

 

[Wheretonext]

Not sure if you’re all girls.. maybe a few guys, but I’d love to go for a night out. You’re all hilarious
impossible not to howl reading this thread.

 

[Kikini Bamalam]

I do hope Derek is the only one on that tenancy agreement and boots Melvin out on his bony arse. Fucking horrible little man.

 

[Bec3007]

Jokes aside I think the way he talks about/to Derek is shocking. If a man spoke about a woman that way and vice versa the world would lose their mind. He’s so degrading towards him. I hope Derek makes a lucky escape.

As for Mario he’s as thick as a plank of wood so he’s got a cheek calling other people stupid

 

[menopausalmargrit]

And him welcoming Phillip Schofield to “the family” was the final straw today. I’m going back in the closet as I’m not being associated with him (Mario, not sexy Phil)!!!

 

[Exhausted Pigeon]

Derek with Curtis at the Avamay bash last year, before tearing up the dance floor and getting locked out of the room by Melv

 

[BananaClub]

Damage limitation there Maria ....it’s to late now everyone has saw it ..you evil nasty narcissistic classless twat ..ps I’m from Scotland and I can say hand on heart iv never spoke to my husband or anyone else like that .

 

[Kikini Bamalam]

Hi Mario, how have you time to be on here reading what we have to say about you. I thought you’d be up to your tonsils sorting the gaff and seeing how the shark makes lines in your carpet. Now I could be wrong but nasty and vile are not words used to describe you over the last 24 hours. It was more like little prick, wanker, bollox. So please, if you’re going to quote what we say, quote correctly. But at the same time, glad that you’ve taken what we said on board. I’ve noticed you’ve used the word ‘our’ a few times and then forgot yourself and went back to ‘my’.
While I have your attention, you know how you repost all the messages and posts your sheep tag you in!!! Why don’t you repost all those the messages from the carpet companies that “reached out” to you to work with them 🩲

This! Come on St Melvin, patron saint of small businesses and being a vile little cunt, let's see the messages.
You know it would actually be more beneficial to these small businesses if you actually paid them for their goods and services. If you are happy with them you can also give them a shout out too, it's not like you are having to do much apart from do a 15 second story, you greedy, vile, grasping little man.
Also if you are taking this stuff for free in exchange for a shout out, I do hope you are planning to send in a self assessment tax form, because I am sure that gifted items are a form of payment. I will definitely be mentioning your name to HMRC so they can take a look at your account. How does a "owing the tax man thousands juuuurrrrrrrrrnnnnnnnnnneeeeeehhhhhhh" sound?
Why don't you just get some self respect and pay for your stuff like the rest of us have to.

PS you look like a scrotum with a face drawn on it xxx

 

[shadyessex33]

I feel so sorry for Derek. He is good looking and could do so much better than oor Melvin. I am a gay man and I find Derek attractive...maybe I should go and rescue him.

I’m a gay as well! shall we start a “save Derek” group? He can do so much better. If Melv looked like a rat but was nice it wouldn’t matter, but he’s awful!

 

[D2theyawn]

We really dae! We work hard

we really fae work hard
And by god we deserve it
So aye

Haha I have always thought Mario would LOVE to be a part of these threads!!!

can just see it now! lying on his bespoke bed having just done his skin care and got into his pajamas (and rankcoat) - drinking a giant can of run bru whilst typing furiously into tattle pretending to be his partners sister. First sparks coming from his strangler fingers as he furiously types, then some smoke, then flames! All of a sudden the flames reach the last half a dozen hairs on his heed and singe the final hangers on off to fuck - then the bespoke headboard catches alight and Marion’s up shouting “Derek ma wallpaper ma wallpaper dae sumthin “ Derek just about manages to open one eye while simultaneously removing Raaaayyynnnn from on top of the cardboard wardrobes.
Jesus Christ, that place would go up faster than a nuns nightie wirh the amount of gifted free plush velvet shite he hoards

 

[Wheretonext]

Attention to detail is everything Mario. That’s a shockingly bad pain job.

 

[lauramars]

How dare he say Dereks the clumsiest, stupidest person around the hoose, cunt! At least when it was just Derek living there it looked homely and not like a cheap brothel!! I wonder where Dereks family are. I’m waiting for the day he freaks out on The fucking Gaga land prick!!

I thought that was terrible him saying that for thousand to hear! My partners a bit daft when it comes to stuff in the house but he’s great with cars and I’m daft with them! We wouldn’t dare say horrible stuff like that about each other! I think marios been a one night stand that has never left knowing Dereks too scared to tell him to beat it

 

[Rocketllama]

Just watched the video on dereks old Facebook and I actually feel so sorry for him!! He was so chuffed with his wee hoose and then comes along saint mario and fucking spews his tat and plush grey shite everywhere. There’s not one tiny bit of derek in that house. Poor boy doesn’t even get to go to sleep in peace without melvin droning on flashing a phone around