Cleaning with Mario #44 Burning Autumn candles while the rest of us sweat in sandals

[Henny Penny]

How the hell is he not a parody account??
That autumnal tat everyone!!

 

[Babybail93]

For anyone that has had a bespoke blocking off the wee hobbit, here is Autumn Mario style. It is just as classy as you’d imagine

 

[Scottishmammy]

What does he mean we
Spent an incredible about of money without any help?! Is he having a laugh? The amount of gifted shite! Got more help than most people. He honestly doesn’t hear himself.

 

[MaidMarion]

All you lovely tattle folks that have made these memes today, thank you so much, what a start to the week, they're bloody brilliant, talented tattle friends you're all hilarious, I actually love being part of this thread, tattie hearts to youse awe, mwah mwah tons a love on this dayn of dawn

 

[Couldlifeeverbesaneagain]

Ahaha omg, I am BAWLING.

I don't know what my favourite part is -

The white silky shitty pumpkins
The awful music choice
The fuck knows wreath
The underwhelming-Ness of it all
The fact he spent over 200 quid

He's 100 per cent a parody and I'm here for it.

 

[Dawn Dayn]

My theory is that he’s taken poor “H” to the Dakota and whined about brands no texting his second phone to see if they can come round wae the lassies. And no getting him presents. And then dropped hints about his favrit aftershave.

Then she’s had to go down the road and order it, and then send it up.

Enjoy your pity perfume maz x

Pity perfume, call the police, there's been a murder.

 

[Step-by-step]

Well my lovelies, what a load of overpriced shite our Hannah has created but let’s take a moment to study his Bruner!

 

[GiftedNotFree]

Why can’t he learn the word “logo”? The way he says “Hannah’s branding” 489493 times instead of saying “Avamay logo” is mind boggling

 

[Laura VanderBooben]

View attachment 761525

fuck. Fac e is enough to give you nightmares alone! Guess that explains the hair loss. The cheap, peroxide blonde made his hair and his brain go rotters!

Of course you do! a grown man wearing Arianna Grande perfume aimed at teenage girls is ridiculous. How the fuck does Derek ever get hard for that cheap, smelling like a tarts handbag goblin

 

[GiftedNotFree]

*snort* at this caption now what a fanny.

 

[Dove88]

I wore that on Saturday!

It's abzalootley stunnin ma lovelie, but am surprised you've heard of it since it's a wee company called Lancome that makes it, but noo I've chanted thum on fae the rooftops am sure it'll be a new dayn of dawn for their wee bespoke business. Ma platform, ma rules hen.

 

[Cagayu]

I think Susan might be able to read marion’s posts in one take

 

[Ilovecoffee21]

That mirror wave gives me the absolute rage

 

[Doingitforthegramhuns]

I feel like the tray on his hideous glass shitty table or whatever it is needs to be the other way round

 

[telltaletitt]

I'm beginning to wonder if he thinks he's Simon Cowell ma lovelies

Oh my lovely did you not know oor Mazda is an absolute singing sensation in his own right please go look at his hi lights the affirmation word being “my singing” and prepare to swerve right oot yer laine and crash into the central reservation at his “slut” song choice I am traumatised

 

[menopausalmargrit]

How the fuck is he out in a big padded coat? I was out in a hoody earlier and I was sweating!

Also, can anyone guess the pavement?

 

[Babybail93]

The perfume Hannah got him is fucking rotten, despite the expense.

Ahm just in from a day and night with ma Mum. We went for drinks, dinner and to the theatre. Im so full of love for everyone other than Mario and his empty life.

Love youse aw especially @Babybail93

Aw we awe love you too babes! Glad you had a lovely day with your Mam. I’m taking mine to the Trafford Centre the morrow. Gonna try and get her some £5 hooker shoes

 

[maeve87]

I stayed in a council flat and worked full time, you still pay full rent (mine was £410 p/m) it's just cheaper than private letting and the tenancy is more secure, so I don't see anything wrong with people who work full time renting from the council...that said, i have never been able to get my head around him spending sooo much money on a flat that isn't his/theirs, it's pure lunacy. By all means make it nice enough to live in but he is ridiculous

 

[GiftedNotFree]

God, he’s actually such a joker. He MUST have known his area / block was ripe for redevelopment, without even needing a formal letter from the council! If not, he’s got even less brains than we originally thought.

It’s staggering how much money he spends on utter rubbish / excessive stuff he doesn’t need when that could easily be put aside for a house deposit. Not to mention all the potential money making he could have had via insta that he was too stupid to take advantage of.

Also, they will be bottom of the list for any sort of priority housing. Front and back garden etc will be prioritised for people with children etc. They’ll be allocated a like for like. He’s delusional and it’s mortifying to witness

 

[Anti-influencer]

Lovelies! Not sure if yous will have heard of the movie Misery because it’s a bespoke made to order film by a very small business called Stephen King however it’s very fitting because I refuse to believe Derek shacked up with this lunatic willingly, he was obviously kidnapped against his will and so forth. Babygurl Ryan was also abducted but at least her and Deek have each other until they manage to escape one day while mario is doing one of his 40 minute shifts

Oh the bit where she batters his ankle with a sledgehammer That’s what Deek would get for using a squirt of his Jo Malone and making him crabbit.com!!!!! feck sake