Cleaning with Mario #42 Autumless Autumn Jurney

[Babybail93]

So it’s called Utan? Is that short for Orang-utan, Mario? Because that bitch was fucking ORANGE on its birthday!

 

[blocknroll]

Right so apparently the Dakota are happy to take orders so what bespoke present can we send up to Marion’s room. I’m thinking a pint of milk to really get the IBS going.

 

[blocknroll]

So it’s just him Derek and Hannah. Bit weird. Why would you wanna third wheel feel sorry for Derek surely he’d want a romantic night with his partner

Well this threesome is going to be one for the niche section of Pornhub…

“FEED ME STOVIES AND TELL ME I SMELL OF BLEACH!!”

 

[MarionWaffle]

Where do I even start with his recent post! I feel the over use of ! is a good place. Marion! You do not need to use ! after every sentence! It does not validate nor excite your point! It just makes you look stupid! however you do not need any help in that department all…..
Privacy on this app? You told us you flashed your knob to the postman. Your privacy is long gone you idiot. As is your brain in that head that I just can’t bring myself to look at…
Let me just finish on the gem that is ‘greatful’ Even my spellcheck hated me typing it like that. You are a sad pathetic very little wannabe who is desperately trying way too hard.

 

[Cagayu]

Our Derek, bless his stupid heart.

He looks like an extra from a low budget gangster film

 

[Weezaweeza]

I just lurk on here but swerving out ma lane today to say this thread (and you lot) is the funniest thing on the whole internet

 

[twilightgarden]

Lads, I made the fatal error of tattle before bed and had a dream about our Moira! I was at his house , sitting round the padded coffin and every time I went on my phone Maz would look in the mirror to try and see what I was looking at in case it was tattle. He was such a bitch and the flat was all sticky and stinking.

 

[Lalalaand]

Pahahaha mad Marion had checked into his hotel got aw dolled up for his boujee bespoke birthday night oot and had the whole night oot aw before id even finished ma shift bring it in with a bang my arse, the only bang was his beak hitting the pillow at 10:02pm

 

[Dawn Dayn]

He's orange.

 

[Sloppys]

Nae ma lovelies I cannae cope with this. He’s made a fucking highlight of his 38th Birthday!!

 

[Johnnoijones]

Derek looks like your little brother on the first night of your holiday in Spain wearing his cool clothes ready to smash the Teen disco

View attachment 737699

When you order someone tall dark and handsome from wish and this is what arrives

 

[Skyflier6727]

Why does he keep calling wrapped cereal boxes “designer books”? Books have words, stories, facts, you can lose yourself in then, learn from them etc. They are not empty boxes covered in sticky back plastic! God he rips my knitting!

 

[bluey]

I’ve had longer shits than his “birthday night out”

 

[menopausalmargrit]

Just seen his grid post!!! Who posts a happy birthday to themselves?! That’s enough internet for the day…

 

[notanothergrammer]

So they had a rummage through Mariahs cupboards, apparently aw he does is 'Gut' the hoos oot. . yet those were defo Monica cupboards, shite piled in and fuck all organised, we know yer dirty secrets noo hen that's how the flat appears to stay 'clean it's aw surface cleanin I bet ya the side eh your cooker and the back eh yer fridge is pure howfin

 

[Couldlifeeverbesaneagain]

MA BURDAY WAS NAE SHYTE. IT WAS A BESPOKE EVENT THAT NAE OF YAW COULD AFFORD. YAWS ARE JUST JEALOUS CUZ I'M POPLAR ON INTERNET AND CAN HAVE ANY WAX MELT I WANT. ALSO I NEED TO ADDRESS THE RUMOURS - MY CAT NAE SUICIDAL IT JUS LIKE TO EXPLORE AND IS NAE AFRAID OF HEIGHTS. YAZ CANNAE AFFORD MA RIVER ISLAND STYLE AND IT SHOWS. MA IBS IS BESPOKE AND IS NAW FUNNY. I'D LIKE TO SEE HOW YAWS BOWELS RESPOND TO CHIPS AND RICE. STAY IN YAWS LANES!

 

[TheNiceBeardMan]

Why do his shirts always look like they are from the old ladies stalls off the Saturday Market?

 

[Cady1954]

OK! Which one of you Tattle bastards slashed the tyre? Also why does Deek look like Cuban drug dealer in Miami Vice
Circa 1990?

 

[minskks]

I find his party both hilarious and bloody sad in equal measure tbh. But rifling through his cupboards is a step too far. They are deffo taking the piss out of him.

 

[BoujeeBabe]

Lovely new bespoke thread, hens....

Happy Birthday to oor gentle wee soul Marlon, who turns 38 today and most definitely ISNAE an 85 year old Karen in disguise....

Am wurkin the day, so ahh shall poap in later to see wit oor skinny jean wearing numpty has gawt fer his day av birth - and if there's nae surprise visits from Sophie or Eeevvvvaaa Meeeeyyyy, them ah'll be pure raging because we awll know they're his besties and hunz!

So aye and so forth.... *clutches at pretend pearls*