Cleaning with Mario #42 Autumless Autumn Jurney

[Cvicjo]

Honestly, it felt like my brain was hemorrhaging listening to that tan review.
I’m a kiwi though, so maybe harder for me to understand, but it was hard work trying to decipher each word
Also, surely the IKEA towels are not that luxurious as he it makes it sound, I wonder if premier inn sell their towels?
Anyway, happy 1st of September my lovelies, this thread is the best

 

[twilightgarden]

Who called the lethal soorz getting spilled?! It nearly happened ma lovelies!
Hilarious them trying to dance in the postage stamp and has Mario nicked the Dakota slippers?!?!

Part of me feels sorry for him he has to invite insta randoms to make it look like he has pals , but then I remember he’s a wee dick, so aye and so forth! tonsa love X x x

Hostess with the mostest will be oot with some bespoke vol-au-vants soon and a side of hoos rice

Hahahahaha hoos rice gets me every time!

 

[Lady Bug]

"And Derek too" says Hannah Wax after getting a wee kick in the foot off Mario. Deek ma love you can seek asylum in Dakota.

 

[Booboo76]

So much to unpack from those stories, what an absolute fucking moron he is, “leafs” and what were those white pumpkins, I’m sorry but she saw you coming with those mate, fucking hell, they were diabolical they were like something off one of those Facebook pages that take the piss out of stuff people sell, his vocabulary is atrocious why does he try to sound more intelligent than he actually is?? Bloody hell my head hurts now

 

[Ilovecoffee21]

So it’s just him Derek and Hannah. Bit weird. Why would you wanna third wheel feel sorry for Derek surely he’d want a romantic night with his partner

 

[twilightgarden]

That Bruce loose woman gets right on my wick! Something about her. She thinks far too highly of herself. She’s from fife, not Windsor castle

 

[Dawn Dayn]

The come down after the dizzying social highs of his birthday is going to be epic. There will be attacks of poorly ear/bum/x zeema, sulking and pouting. Bet he goes off insta for a bit.

 

[Babybail93]

Is it over or is it not? Usually “until the next time” implies it’s over you fucking spanner!!!

 

[Johnnoijones]

Happy new thread days. My IBS is through my plush carpet with excitement to celebrate that birthday of our Saint and savior of small businesses and influences mental health

 

[MarionWaffle]

I don’t know any of those clingers, but did anyone open the hall cupboard?? They were definitely showing us what’s in the cupboards as we mention it regularly so yes, I’m 100% sure we have some of them on here!

 

[Skyflier6727]

I think it's because basically, he's an unpleasant cunt..


It's hilarious, ain't it. Love the fact they write in Scottish, and in ma heed I can hear Frankie Boyle's voice..

I am Scottish and live in Glasgow but am quite well spoken normally. My family are wondering why I’m suddenly speaking like a Paisley chav. It’s just second nature now - so aye nae debates and so forth!! I’m chanting masel on on ma jurney

 

[Poptart]

Back in his hotel room on his big birthday Friday night oot by 10pm It was barely worth ironing the old woman blouse for the night.

 

[Johnnoijones]

With his post about his birthday and all the sharing of messages I have a total red neck for him. What grown man behaves like this? He is a total embarrassment to my kind (the gays)

 

[Kaydeelaydee]

An emptae!!! Reminds me so much of Kevin bridges

Wonder who'll take a shite in his kettle

 

[TheNiceBeardMan]

Mario in the hotel wearing his sunflower lanyard. How's he exempt?!

Exempt for severe twattism and narcism

 

[Johnnoijones]

I cannot believe it is all over. I went out 2 weeks ago after being cooped up during lockdown. I got back to my bespoke hotel at 4am.

 

[Dawn Dayn]

Our Derek, bless his stupid heart.

 

[LoopyHoopy71]

Right ma lovelies I’ve managed tae find a comma break in the between the fam holiday tae post.
So ma take is that Ava Maria wanted tae cum up tae Scotland tae touch base wi her reps tae keep her wee shitey wax melt business on track and promoted.

Her targets were the Steels (I refuse to talk about that situation) and oor Marion. She suggested a group meet up and tae also celebrate his birthday so he grabbed the chance tae shine ma lovelies and invite the coos tae his hobbit hole.

All of this will be on Ava Maria business expenses trust me. Why it wasn’t in a central location is coz oor Maz couldn’t be in control.
In Hannah’s defence re the flat tyre (don’t shoot me down) I know that car park well at Charing Cross and if any car has an issue they try to get you down to those disabled spaces where should can be agreed to….ill get back in ma lane
ETA: All they did wiz share each other’s stories so it wiz awe fur the gram

 

[Couldlifeeverbesaneagain]

Two highlights of his shit show birthday. What an absolute klanger I went to Rome a few years ago and was there for my birthday - took a few pics of the colleseum (bespoke building) and a pic of me dolled up for the night and that was it - was early 20s at the time. Didn't upload on my birthday though - just uploaded a few pics of the whole trip when I was back home.

Can you imagine being nearly 40 years old and documenting your whole birthday for the gram rather than actually enjoying it.

HE IS KILLING ME SOFTLY MA LOVELIES WITH HIS BOUJEE SLENDER FINGER.

 

[Under_The_Influencer]

He’s away to bed cos he’ll need to be up for 6am to wash the Amore shite aff the hotel bed sheets. Hannah will be driving him to Paisley to put 2 washings on, and then back to the hotel to put the sheets on before check out at 11

sorry…