Cleaning with Mario #4

[Kikini Bamalam]

Yeah maybe I shouldn’t have said anything as it’s not directly about Melv. Sorry

Don't worry about it. It was a brief distraction from the crapet juurrnnehhhh. We can all go back to discussing what shade of grey he'll go for.
Personally i think he'll go for the grey his teeth were before his teef juurrnneeehhh

 

[Mack84]

I think we should all use the hashtag & tag him in lots of random shit like oceans and saints and strangler fingers and photos of what he reminds us of

 

[Jo-Min99]

Unfortunately forced entry to the wrong property is illegal.
If it was your house I doubt you would be so matter of fact !

It’s not illegal if you are the landlord of the property with a legitimate reason. Social and private renting is slightly different lovely. The neighbour across the hall is also a council tenant, granted the council made a mistake which caused a bit of inconvenience however the door wasn’t battered in and the property wasn’t left unsecured. The locks were changed and they were provided with two new sets. End of.

Now off you go and put a wee moanio melt on and breath deeply

 

[Steffols]

I’m confused by Mario. I’ve been following him for about a week now. Basically I’ve made a New Years Resolution to read more books so I’ve deleted Fb and Twitter from my phone. But I still like to have something to amuse me on my phone so I thought I’d follow him and then follow the conversation on here to fill my phone time

His name is Cleaning With Mario but I’ve been following him for about a week and I don’t think I’ve seen him clean anything? He just tells you he has and then spends five minutes saying ‘but, ayeeee’. Its really boring! Why does he have 80k followers?

 

[Flozora]

Right, which of you fuckers has rattled his cage this morning, by sending him a nasty message?!!

He’s on a right head wobbling, eye winking, shoulder shimmying, lip pouting rant!
Ain't nobody gonna spoil his day! Bitches!

Argh! He is such an insufferable wank stain. His sweaty knobbly strangler finger, giving it the bird. And he wonders why no big companies want to #gift him shit, to advertise? He really is a vile little cretin.

But, I will continue to watch his stories. It’s better than most things on the telly box!

 

[Exhausted Pigeon]

He's probably gonna return only to tell us that he and Derek are going to step down from being Instagram royalty and in future, they'll spend their time equally between insta and Facebook. He will be happy to support small businesses and continue to collaborate with avameee and semichem. If it gets too stressful he'll leave it to Derek to thrash out the deets whilst he retreats to his grey gifted padded cell to look after traumatised baby garul reeen!

 

[TheNiceBeardMan]

Please someone stop me. My phone is full of Mazza

 

[Bec3007]

Sorry he’s moaning saying he pays full rent so expects someone there when he clicks his fingers?? I’m a council tenant (no I’m not scum) and I pay full rent and I wouldn’t expect them to come out straight away for something like that. God help him if he ever owns his own house, you don’t get it all for free then you entitled knob

 

[cleaningupthecrap]

The last two days have been pure gold for us Tattlers, I wonder if he will still call us jealous?

Yes Melvin, we all want a pest infestation and our back doors battering in leaving our letterboxes swinging in the breeze

 

[Kikini Bamalam]

Sing Hosanna for the son of God has arisen from his sordid little grief hole and has hoovered. Let us all gather together and sing sing sing like a choir of angels for He has resurrected himself (with the worst nights sleep eva, and he has tried EVERYTHING)
The Lord saw our pain at having no one to take the piss out of, so he brought his only Son back to life to cleanse our sins with zoflora.

 

[Pink4573]

Hello my lovelies.....I’ve not got much to tell use.......followed by a million dots then a head wobble with a “so aye”

 

[Kikini Bamalam]

Oh fuck is my cover blown at last? Yes, I fucking admit it, I'm Perry Mason and yes I am on the dole now, criminal defence is in the toilet at the moment because of the legal aid cuts. I now have to spend my time on gossip boards offering legal information about broken letter boxes and suing cooncils.

Ask me anything huns

 

[ayeayecaptain]

Oh dear god who are these people who send him these messages

Praise be!
He’ll be turning water into Windolene next....

 

[Be More Pacific]

"It burnt so evenly...."

Cuts to candle which shows it has completely tunnelled*

*yes, I am that geek that knows about this shit

 

[Kaydeelaydee]

So I see the moderators were busy and assume the party crasher is having a time out on the Tattle naughty step.

Meanwhile back at the ranch..............

Thank goodness Melv explained the concept of an AvaMay mystery bag though. Not knowing what fragrances you'll be sent? I don't think its all that mysterious really. You're getting sent whatever has been unpopular enough to be languishing on the shelves for too long. Mystery solved .

 

[Exhausted Pigeon]

They had to break in to access the massive door knocker on the chair!

 

[tapwankaa]

Oh dear god .... they are selling the sofa Ma lovelies he is just about to take us on a sofa journey Fuck my life !!!

Highly flammable cheesy sofa for sale for the barg price of £350.. comes with criss (crisps to the rest of us) crumbs and exemmmma flakes down the sides

 

[Bestlife@60]

Why is he so bloody literal about everything when he sings? The way he does the awful wink and putting his hand on his chest when the lyrics mention love or heart or pointing to the sky if the moon and stars are mentioned.
It's like watching a badly acted pantomime for idiots.

Plus, hands off Lizzo, she ain't for the likes of you Melvin.

He’s being the little man in the corner of the Telly for he’s Deaf/Mute followers!!!

 

[Kikini Bamalam]

Yes, Melvin queen of Scots does live in a cooncil flat, although to hear him describe it, you would think he lived in Buckingham Palace. He currently has rats in his loft and had his front door "smashed" (the lock was drilled accidentally) by the cooncil on Friday and is now launching a huge law suit against said cooncil for making him feel unsafe in his special place.
If you like laughing at complete nobends, I recommend not following but looking into Melvin daily. He is unintentionally hilarious and completely self centred and deluded.

 

[cleaningupthecrap]

I'm imagining Derek at the meeting now. Melvin will be back at his palatial hoose small flat with the traumatised letterbox basking under the glow of his halo ring lamp. Rather than let Derek deal with the life-changing catastrophe minor inconvenience he will be frantically typing out nonsense messages ordering Derek what to do and say. Poor Derek, I bet living in the loft with the rats seems a more attractive proposition at the moment.