Cleaning with Mario #30 A tat cave in Paisley born & raised in ma hoosecoat I spend ma day

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How many stories about the bloody doorbell? What exactly did he do then when the postie came up the stairs and he wasn’t in? It’s still a long walk to the post office mario
 
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Well he’s been hummin & whoring for a year wether to buy one! That’ll explain where the money’s from!
 
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Another £100 that could have gone towards a deposit for their own home, the man is a fool. How many home deposits has he spent in the last year on tracksuits, cleaning materials and bloody wax melts?
 
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Do you wear a housecoat or a Mother of the Bride Hoosecoat, ma lovelie? Two completely different things!
Or a One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest whack-a-mole style straitjacket
I can’t fadum how he has so much money that he can waste £100! It’s not like he ever had visitors pre-pandemic, apart from a ‘surprise’ once from that Ava May girl.

Take a shot every time Mario says “absolutely love it”
I’ll be steamin ma lovelie! Abzalootely steamin and staggering oot ma lain
 
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Omg, the door bell, the pink wahffulll pjs, the granny dressing gown, the dancing I can’t cope with this prick today ffs
 
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Does the greedy, selfish scrote ever buy Derek something? If I was Delboy I would shit under the bed and stink him out!!!
 
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How can you review and love a product when you’ve only just opened the box?!
And why hasn’t he shown the actual box contents!
 
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Fingers crossed the doorbell gets hacked, pretty sure the password is Marioisasexgod.
 
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I noticed in his ‘review’ he said he would be notified if someone was at the door. What about Derek?! It’s like he doesn’t live there and it’s his flat Makes me so sad for Derek, trapped by a baldy narcissist and being fumigated by endless wax melts and oils
 
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How can you review and love a product when you’ve only just opened the box?!
And why hasn’t he shown the actual box contents!
He’s already installed it ma lovelie! Did it himself in haarrf an oor!

Derek doesn’t get any parcels or mail. It all fae oor Marion!
 
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Those waaaaaffle slippers look so uncomfortable.

I wonder what his neighbours think? I wonder if he has considered them? Does the door bell show their front door. I bet he sends it back, or he’ll have an hilarious story, he’ll wipe away fake laughter tears.
It won’t of happened, because his life is dull.
He really fucking annoys me!
 
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Hello ma lovelies

I've not checked in on Marlon for a few days, but when I do, I see him fucking aboot in the mirror, dancing like Mr Blobby whilst wearing his hideous waaaaaffffffuuuullllll pink get up that's tugging at his fat belleh and that god awful hoosecoat over it!

Someone pass the eye bleach!

 

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For someone who isn’t a chocolate lover he bloody eats a lot of chocolate

I think he eats more than me and I love chocolate.
 
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Creme eggs are Derek’s favourite. Will he get one? Probably not, as Mario is a selfish little cunt.
 
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