Cleaning With Mario #3

[TheNiceBeardMan]

He's a fucking tit.

Hope he's not suffering too badly with his wee cold and his bit of gassy bowels when he's nervous.

Mario needs a lesson in what real life is.

Real life for me this week has been finding out my father in law is passing away on Sunday, consoling my kids. Having to go to work as a student Midwife on Monday, working for free as I need a set amount of hours to get my pin at the end of my training so I dare not miss a day. Going to work rather than being at home.

Today I went to work and got the call from my kids that their grandpa had passed away. Had to wait until 4.30pm today to leave work. Can you imagine how excruciating that is knowing your children are breaking but cannot simply walk out of work as you have pregnant women relying on your presence. I'm not a part of staff but I have built up enough of a continuity with women for them to need me, you cannot just walk out mid antenatal check.

Mario has clearly never suffered a day in his life which is why he finds the most simple things a challenge. He needs to experience real life that man.

Ps kids were grand when I got home, they had been with their dad but oh man I wanted to be with them. They also understand I need 100% attendance during my course to gain my qualification xxx

 

[Kikini Bamalam]

As if Melvin's life is something to actually aspire to! I have agoraphobia and I have more of a fucking social life than him. Plus my house isn't covered in polyester throws, diamante shit and has some colour in it. Also I don't need to put my name on everything, just in case I forget what I am called.
Fucking weapon.

 

[Bec3007]

Every time he says “so aye” in a really high pitched voice, I want to knock his fake teeth out

 

[Maggie28]

Mrs Hinch is asking for her followers what they do to beat the January blues. What people should do is... come on here and have a laugh at Mario. Would cheer you up no end of you were feeling about fed up. You’d realize that things could be worse, you could be Mario

I certainly won’t have the January blues!!
I am the happiest I have been since finding Tattle, guaranteed a laugh. I do actually laugh out loud at some of the things written on here.
Thank you, I don’t need Mrs Hinch or any of these so called influencers.
Tattle is the best therapy I’ll ever need
It’s like I have found kindred spirits.
Thank you

 

[Enaj9990]

Cleans his ‘flairs’ naebody cares... got a shark on tick it’s oor mario the priii....

 

[Kaydeelaydee]

If there's time to clean the flat, find an inspirational quote and post a cryptic message hinting something's amiss, there's time to explain briefly what's wrong. If the issue is so personal, sensitive and emotive that he doesn't want to divulge details, then it was completely inappropriate for him to post in the first place.

Cue Melvin leaving his lovelies to "unindate" him with messages of deep concern and his next story to lead with "Hello my lovelies, I'm fine, I'm absolutely fine"

This has particularly bugged the bejesus out of me tonight as its so insidiously emotionally manipulative at a time when many (myself included) are perhaps reflecting on loved ones lost and sadly missed.

Bawbag.

 

[Raindropsonroses]

He has always cut his own hair

What does he use? A knife and fork?!

 

[Wheretonext]

Mrs Hinch is asking for her followers what they do to beat the January blues. What people should do is... come on here and have a laugh at Mario. Would cheer you up no end of you were feeling about fed up. You’d realize that things could be worse, you could be Mario

 

[bananadancer]

I imagine their time together is a constant repeat of

Mario: SCREAMING TIRADE ABOUT TATTLE AND NO ONE PAYING HIM FOR HIS GENIUS SO HE CAN STAY HOME AND INFLUENCE EVERYONE FOR A LIVING
Derek: smiles prettily while thinking about squirrels

 

[Kikini Bamalam]

The day I take skincare advice off that colossal helmet is the day I rip my skin off, throw it in the washing machine on a boil wash with a bottle of Lenor and some febreeze.
I wonder which one of the drippy minged mafia asked for that particular bit of top content? It's not like the ham faced wanker hasn't done his skincare regime on there to death, is it?

Skincare with ham faced wanker Melvin

 

[Wheretonext]

So his good friend Sophie has shared lots of accounts with her hinchers on her stories and NO mention of poor Mario

 

[Badaboom]

Ha! This tickled me, although he did remove the comment sharpish

 

[Kikini Bamalam]

I'll be honest, I'm not so interested in the psychology of oor Melv, I just like taking the piss out of him. And by him, I mean the him we see on insta. He could be out saving kittens from flood waters in his off instagram half an hour a day and I wouldn't care. I just love hate watching the massive snotrag personally

 

[Kaydeelaydee]

In other news, I've placed a small wax melt order since AM is having a sale of the Christmas range - my first ever with that company. As I proceeded through the web pages to confirm and pay, i couldn't help notice that "hermes" popped up in the URL

Can you imagine? "Hannah, dont send me ma free brand rep boxes cos you use herms"

Never once heard him complan that he has trouble receiving his gifted stuff!

 

[cleaningupthecrap]

Is it wrong that it makes me so happy he had to buy his own Shark? Like the rest of us?

Is it also wrong that I know it is going to destroy his crapets and this is making me giddy?

 

[JessicaFletcher]

Lipsy is 100% derek who's finally fed up of his shite. You're safe here Derek!

 

[Kikini Bamalam]

I've no doubt he'd love to do insta fulltime, but I think he's missed the boat completely on that score. Hinch has pretty much cornered the market on cleaning, so what are you left with with Melvin?
Home account - His flat is already stuffed to the ceiling with the ugliest tat known to man, so not really possible.
Make up and skin care - hahahahahahahahahahhahaha hahahahahahhahahahhahahaahhaah no!
Drunken shenanigans - Possibly, I'm not sure how he could monetise that content, although Tesco might sponsor him with a weekly bottle of blue nun.

There really isn't anywhere else he can take his account, I think the decline will start soon and I am totally here for the whining and wailing from our Melv weeping that he's not being asked to help small businesses with his platform anymore (aka gimmie freebies you cunts).I think we could see a lot more profanity from him down the line as the rot sets in.

 

[Exhausted Pigeon]

If he likes to support small businesses, how come he raved about his gifted throw from 'made in chunky' but the minute he has to buy one he goes straight to primark? Hypocritical much

 

[msitm]

I am raging. Didn't go to my work Christmas night out as I wanted to stay home and watch Mario's skin care regime and he forgot to do it! Have to wait til Christmas Eve now, if he has a wee spare hour. Gutted

 

[WookieCookie]

Should rename his page Moaning with Mario........