Cleaning With Mario #3

[Citygirlgonecountry]

Well I might as well cancel 2020 now. Absolutely bereft to be informed via Marios stories tonight that he will never, never ever never, open the door to allow us all in on the journey of his family and friends and loved ones. Its never, never, never EVER going to happen guys.. Although he knows we all want to go on a journey with his of getting to know his family, he can just not allow it. I can tell from his stories he is so torn, but alas... it can never happen...

I think hes actually legit lost the plot now!

 

[cleaningupthecrap]

Does he know what carnage means? line dancing at the WMC is hardly rock and roll.

And the hangover is like the menopause, yes Mario, that’s exactly what it’s like, women just need to take an alka seltzer and drink plenty of water and hormones sorted! The dick

 

[Kikini Bamalam]

Mario really needs to get some help with his make up, he's forgotten his neck for a start. He reminds me of the make up counter lady on the fast show

 

[Nortower]

So.....we’ve witnessed a whole day’s stories of him eating soup, organising Derek’s xmas eve box (?), showing Derek sleeping, him being mad of aforementioned sleeping, him snoozing, his Mam’s new shoes, Etc etc.....why (if this happened this morning) eventually come on all flustered and nerves entirely shot HOURS later to tell us he nearly got run over???? And THEN to say that due to witnessing his Auntie getting hit by a vehicle, that’s why he never crosses any roads; he’d rather go the long way around.....to then cross a road.....none of this makes sense. The only thing I’m sensing is the scent of bullshit!!!

 

[Be More Pacific]

Nee thread title:

So aye, those new trainers Gucci? Naw, they're from ma wee pals at Jaaaay Deeee

 

[Exhausted Pigeon]

Is it me or is he really an Oompa loompa? View attachment 65564

He looks like a 1970s quiz show host with the obligatory 'bevvy of beauties' in tow

 

[Flozora]

What the actual fuck? I had to take a second look. I thought it was a cross between Nanny McPhee and Mary Cocking Poppins.
What an utter gob shite. I can almost smell the polyester from here!

 

[lipsticktaser]

He looks like a panto villain in primark menswear.

 

[Maggie28]

And he always says so I haven’t got much to tell you, then 50 million dots later he is still fucking waffling.
Shut up til you do, and aren’t you a cleaning account how about do some fucking cleaning. To be fair there’s only so much you can clean your one bedroom flat.
And show us the free crap you get sent!
it’s boring Mario, the one thing that ain’t boring, is this thread

 

[Wheretonext]

And a wee afterthought. If you are trying to attain any kind of moral high ground, probs best that you don't resort to name-calling yourself when inviting support for a petition that purports to object to such behaviour vis a vis "Close these jealous bitches down".

My husband has suggested that tattle life start a petition to get Mario shut down. But I said, who would I laugh at then??

 

[Kikini Bamalam]

I'm gutted that we didn't get to see anymore of his fashion tips for the lassies. I was hoping he might be showing us what else he bought for his mum. I'm hoping for a sparkly boob tube and pleather mini skirt to match her hooker shoes.
My arsehole has sealed shut in embarrassment about him hinting for a notebook collab with someone. I tell you what, if he does nick that image I'll be straight onto the artist because that slimy wee cunt is not going to get away with nicking someone elses design on my watch

Surely it's coming after his tips for contouring his massive shiney noggin

There is not enough gunk in his Debenhams to cover his fucking massive boat surely?

 

[scmackays]

"Unindated"

 

[JessicaFletcher]

I for one am 100% jealous, I'm desperate for that anorexic horse with grey teeth look. I've also always lived in hope I might be suffocated by excessive hoarding of diamante tat and potentially get a respiratory condition from all the shit I spray everywhere. I'm also a bit jealous I haven't achieved the 'dead pink cat under tree' look

 

[cleaningupthecrap]

I think a lot of what he says and does is an act because he doesn't actually know himself. This is evident in the way that he constantly contradicts himself in his stories. I also don't think Melvin is particularly happy with his lot in life and is desperate to be 'someone' and to have 'hunners' of adoring fans. He loves the idea of being something special, that needs to be cared for and this is why he mentions his IBS, flu, feeling sick etc.... for the attention. The dopamine hit he gets from the likes and comments is immense, and he must spend most of his spare time glued to his phone checking for mentions so he can repost them on his stories to prove how popular he is (both to himself and to his followers). On instagram he can be 'someone' and plays up to this, pretending to be a sassy queen with attitude to rival RuPaul and tries his best to create a lifestyle. At the same time, how people perceive him is of immense importance, so in a public setting, he brings to the fore the part of his personality that fits in with his surroundings. We all do this to an extent, but with Melvin it is quite dramatic. As Kaydeelaydee says, it's all Melvin, it just depends on the circumstance.

 

[Kikini Bamalam]

Melvin probably got his cock caught in his Vileda or something. He is just after engagement

 

[Pinkloopsy]

Saviour of small business thinks he can single handily be the destructor of big business.

 

[motherofdoggos]

Exactly!!! I was hiding behind my clothes watching his stories, do you think he thinks they are genuine? I'm really not sure, because he was like the cat that got the cream showing off about them. I'm still having second-hand embarrassment about the whole thing, it was beyond cringe. My sphincter is still having spasms. What a way to end the decade.

Classic martin though, all fur coat and nae knickers, going to primark to buy another £5!chunky knit throw in supposed £500 + trainers!!!
Everything about him and his “safe place “ is cheap AF..... rips off tom ford, promotes conterfit Louis Vuitton phone cases now he’s getting trainers from the looky looky man for his Christmas..... actual comedy gold!

 

[Platypusfattypus]

If he is able to save up easily enough for a deposit on a house why is he in council housing? My understanding was that it was for those who needed to pay a lower rate of rent?

And only six minutes of his life uploaded per day of stories - huh??

Glad that the message didn’t trigger him. It might have resulted in a massive rant about it all......oh wait

 

[Onlinedetective]

Considering Debenhams went in to administration and continues to close stores he should think twice about slating companies he might well need a job at in the near future.

 

[TheNiceBeardMan]

Mazza, if insta is affecting your life that much I'd reduce your usage of it and maybe even delete it. Your real friends will stay in contact. Otherwise remember that it's literally an app. All the people in it are not your real friends. If you have been made practically housebound like you seem to be suggesting then it's time to step away from the unreality of Instagram. By carrying on and then complaining you have no social life you're suggesting you have a problem with Instagram addiction that needs to be addressed. Like you've said so so many times, Instagram isn't reality. Real life is important. Take your own advice....