Cleaning With Mario #3

[Kikini Bamalam]

Gawd bless oor St Melvin! Wasn't he telling us the other day that people who hate watch him have sad empty lives and his is just krazee mad! Well I think we can now all agree that he was right, I mean losing your phone and crisps? Krazeee amirite?

Oh and Melv hun, the menopause is nothing like having a mild hangover you complete dunderheed. You try waking up in the night bathed in sweat even though it's freezing outside and passing out from the hot flushes that hit you like a train. bleep!

 

[JessicaFletcher]

I personally can't wait to see the next installment with the kerrrraaaazzzzeee glamour gals! Will Barbara lose her glasses? Will Pam accidentally bring out a battenberg in her handbag? Will Carol bring the wrong colour bingo dabber? The suspense is a killer.

 

[BananaClub]

I’m shocked at the amount of swearing in his stories ..he usually puts on a polite voice but obviously he forgot himself ....he’s a complete tool !!!!!

 

[Wheretonext]

I’m shocked at the amount of swearing in his stories ..he usually puts on a polite voice but obviously he forgot himself ....he’s a complete tool !!!!!

And his favorite word is “the C word” but he doesn’t say it on his stories!! showing his true colors. Where he’s concerned, the D word springs to mind. DICK
The plank that last week said that people who have no lives talk about him . This is coming from the gobshite that spent the week telling everyone about his night out that he was preparing for but failed to say it was down the community centre. Then spends the next day moaning and then laughing at his stories. Yeah Mario, we’re the ones without a life

 

[sarcastic eyeballs]

Just starting to be able to breathe again after laughing along with Mario on his pure mental night out!! Aw the forced tears are streaming down my face. I wish I was in that friend group- so unbelievably jealous!!
Martin identifies as a 70 year old woman who has lived a very sheltered life!! I mean to have the audacity to describe his hangover as being like the MENaPos. Who does he think he is??!! He just wants to have everything!
absolute whalloper

 

[Frankensooze]

I have concluded from the beige food he thinks is the height of sophistication, the bingo nights, the nights down the community centre with elderly housewives, that our Mario has no idea about anything. Anything at all.

 

[Kikini Bamalam]

When he was going on about taking his make up kit in case the lassies needed some repairs, that he was referring to youngsters in their 20's and they were all going out totally on the lash. I didn't realise he was talking about country dancing with the bleeping Beverley Sisters. But don't forget lads, we're the ones who are dull and boring

 

[JessicaFletcher]

When he was going on about taking his make up kit in case the lassies needed some repairs, that he was referring to youngsters in their 20's and they were all going out totally on the lash. I didn't realise he was talking about country dancing with the bleeping Beverley Sisters. But don't forget lads, we're the ones who are dull and boring

Hope he had a bottle of yardley for when they fancied a scent refresh.

 

[cleaningupthecrap]

He's still buzzing about his wild night out. Seriously, the way he is going on about it you would have thought he was snorting coke off Johnny Depp's arse cheeks whilst Lady Gaga played live to him and his entourage of celeb mates (including Kate Moss natch) at the Chateau Marmont and it's now being reported in the sidebar of shame.

Did we miss something?

 

[scmackays]

"Unindated"

 

[sarcastic eyeballs]

"Unindated"

Hahaha now that’s the tit that entertains me from Mario

 

[Kikini Bamalam]

He's still buzzing about his wild night out. Seriously, the way he is going on about it you would have thought he was snorting coke off Johnny Depp's arse cheeks whilst Lady Gaga played live to him and his entourage of celeb mates (including Kate Moss natch) at the Chateau Marmont and it's now being reported in the sidebar of shame.

Did we miss something?

I can't believe we have to wait a whole year until the next carnage night oot wiv tha lassies. I'm not sure how I will go on without more hilarious stories. I hope something exciting happens to him at work today, like a newspaper blows up into his face while he's walking along and he nearly walks into a road sign. Imagine how many story dots he could get out of that absolute mayhem??

 

[cleaningupthecrap]

this is Martin

 

[Kikini Bamalam]

No one panic because St. Melvin has been kind enough to save the story about the phone and crisps to a highlight...

 

[Frankensooze]

Insta has a lot to answer for. All these enthusiastic oddballs not realising we are laughing at them, not with them.

 

[cleaningupthecrap]

Does make you realise though that all his BS about being himself and staying true on his stories is a big steaming pile of , the real Martin came out of hiding the other day, and he even admitted himself it was good to have the old Martin back. A filthy mouthed cockwomble who pisses of taxi drivers and frequents working mens clubs with a bottle of lambrini in one hand and a makeup trolley in the other

 

[Butthatsnoneofmybusiness]

I don’t know if I’m thrilled or appalled that he can’t keep up his posh version of a Glasgow accent.

Did anyone know he was drunk on Saturday night? He hasn’t mentioned it much. Tool.

 

[Exhausted Pigeon]

You do realise that when he gets HEEM from work he's gonna repost every single mention he's had....

As a side note, why is he trying to make LOVELIES a thing, what happened to his MAFIA?

 

[JessicaFletcher]

No one panic because St. Melvin has been kind enough to save the story about the phone and crisps to a highlight...

Thank god, I was running out of ways to feel better about my own life but Mario thinks of everything, such a 'lovelie'

 

[BananaClub]

He just storied his sister kitchen “transformation” as he calls it ....Marty boy it’s not a omg kitchen it’s actually just the old cupboards painted and a bit of new flooring still same old worktops !!!!!