Cleaning With Mario #3

[cleaningupthecrap]

Yes Martin, there are people out there that are lonely.
Are you going to donate some of your freebies to raise money for a relevant charity?
Are you going to volunteer to go and read to OAP's living on their own? Are you duck, just twittering on about how it makes you feel and how much you need a steak. You are a dick of the highest order.

 

[Kaydeelaydee]

Maybe it's because tis the season of goodwill to all, but having just come back over from the MIGHTIEST cleaning influencer's thread, I'm prepared this evening to concede that oor Melvin, whilst infinitely ridiculous, is at least relatively harmless to the mental health of wider society.

Reasonable command of English disclaimer: This momentary realisation/lapse of judgement does not negate my right to be profoundly irritated by whatever nonsense he chooses to story next and to express same on here.

West coast of Scotland disclaimer: I am pure hinging for something so this could be the meds talking and will revert to prior "wee bawbag" opinion when I feel human again

Ho ho no

 

[Exhausted Pigeon]

Bet his early night and moan about his long day at work was down to him seeing a load of other cleaning instagrabbers going on a freebie to London to do promo work for Swan. Surprised his bitter angry face didn't break into a rendition of 'It shoulda been me'

 

[JessicaFletcher]

Bet his early night and moan about his long day at work was down to him seeing a load of other cleaning instagrabbers going on a freebie to London to do promo work for Swan. Surprised his bitter angry face didn't break into a rendition of 'It shoulda been me'

He hasn't clocked on if he stops moaning all the time and being a miserable git, and complaining how tired he is and how his account is a burden from all the people he has to help, while in reality just laying in bed eating crisps, he might actually get an invite somewhere. Seems like he wants to give up work but he's too lazy to actually try being an influencer and thinks someone is going to hand it to him on a plate.

 

[Kikini Bamalam]

Yes Martin, there are people out there that are lonely.
Are you going to donate some of your freebies to raise money for a relevant charity?
Are you going to volunteer to go and read to OAP's living on their own? Are you duck, just twittering on about how it makes you feel and how much you need a steak. You are a dick of the highest order.

To be completely fair, I'd rather be alone at christmas if I was a lonely OAP and Melvin rocked up with all his "Hello ma lovelies" and reading to me from the back of a Lenor bottle. You just know he'd insist on giving their house a quick clean and probably kill them off with his multiple chemicals sprayed around the place. Or he'd smother them with one of his chunky throws.

 

[cleaningupthecrap]

This is true, and I did forget that he is so busy being the patron saint of small businesses it would be unfair of me to expect more.

 

[Claudius43]

This story he’s fake laughing about clearly didn’t happen unless he was in a red jumper and a Santa hat (as some retail workers have to) and/or the kid has only seen bald Santa’s

 

[cleaningupthecrap]

"A face of giving"

Nah, swearing like that it was either Jimmy Cranky or he was a modern-day Oliver Twist distraction while the shoplifting went on behind Martin.

 

[Exhausted Pigeon]

So you were 'literally' rolling around on the shop floor howling? Yeeeah I doubt that very much ya wee prick!

 

[Kikini Bamalam]

I bet he sits all alone in the canteen thinking up this shite to story. The bleep needs to up his game because the unfunny tit is getting all the more unbelievable.

 

[JessicaFletcher]

I'm not believing that tit. I'm not even convinced he's leaving that bed anymore, all week laying there in the same top with that grey manky blanket over him!

 

[Mack84]

I think the kid was actually scared for its life & was shouting Santa to help them/rescue them.
Can’t believe he’s actually thinking he’s being mistaken for Santa. Next he will be saying someone thought he was the Easter bunny & it was “pure hirariiiiious”

 

[#gifted Beggy]

Honestly do people really take in the he talks ? How would any child think he was Santa ? A lolly pop maybe with that huge head and ten year olds body but Santa ?? He should work on CBeebies story time making up stories .
Hinting at P&G for more #gifted . Go out and buy it just like the rest of us have to do you pathetic prick .

 

[Kikini Bamalam]

God I wonder how many stories we'll get today of the menopausal mafia wringing out their knickers and crying at how funny Melvin and his krazee life is? Mind you I strongly suspect the ones that do stories are related to him in some way, or he pays them. No right minded, right thinking person could possibly find that bellsniff hilarious.

 

[BananaClub]

He so lying about the kid thinking he was Santa ....think cos he so small and skinny with a massive head and long serial killer fingers ...the kid probably thought he was an Elf ..
he’s so full of it , and wonder what happening with semichem , he’s been awful quite about it .

 

[cleaningupthecrap]

He is desperate to be on a tea advert, not realising that Yorkshire Tea are very, very unlikely to use a Scottish man and are so big they have no need to use a mediocre instagrammer with only 80k followers.

I've only just realised who he models himself on now.......*drum roll* ... Louie Spence, who had his moment in the spotlight years ago.

 

[4tuhju]

I sent a video of me chatting bollocks to my mate on instagram as I do but this time I just kept going and going with the eye serum pen til it was dripping down my cheeks and she replied hahahaa mario

 

[cleaningupthecrap]

oh we are going to bleeping love this....nope, even Rayne thinks he's a tosser and it's not funny.

 

[Exhausted Pigeon]

Another faux hilarious non story, even Derek is thinking TISSER!

 

[cleaningupthecrap]

The most funniest thing in the world.

"Unindated" by 100's of his lovelies.

Derek's response sums it up perfectly, I love Derek