He cleans all he’s skertins regalah!! What without moving duck all! 
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Morning ma luvlees...how many times did Marjorie say skurting? And he wants to rip the tenament doon and build it from the groond up...I thought he already done that so aye nae debates and so forth
If he lit a match the block would blow up from hes chemical fumes!!
He was about to say something when filming his unmade bed and then he checked himself. Something other than biscuit tea is brewing.I hope he does a rant today.
Wouldn’t take him long to do his skurtings in his teeny tiny wee borrowers flat, a mean house 
bejouee bespoke borrowers flat Marion. And I see that you’re better half is still full to the gunnels wae smoke... don’t blame Del Boy putting up with that conniving wee scrotum day in day out. Go out and earn your wedge for your tat instead of poncing off poor deek. That’s enough from me for one day
bejouee bespoke borrowers flat Marion. And I see that you’re better half is still full to the gunnels wae smoke... don’t blame Del Boy putting up with that conniving wee scrotum day in day out. Go out and earn your wedge for your tat instead of poncing off poor deek. That’s enough from me for one day You’d think if he’s “spent thoosans n thoosans er the years building that hoose fae the groon up” he’d have shelled oot a couple of hundred quid to get some new skirtings 
And is anyone else dying to know what’s in his secret door in the hall he’s never shown?Wonder if it’s a boujee bespoke Monica cupboard
And is anyone else dying to know what’s in his secret door in the hall he’s never shown?
Wonder if it’s a boujee bespoke Monica cupboard
Omgggg next thread title please!!!Melvin doing his skirting boards today and a few other things he's not done for ages.
So much for the deep clean he took a few days off the gram for.
Liar liar red tights on fire
/dead
I thought he could only use bespoke fabric softener and cannot deviate from his usuals because his skin is soooo unique and gets irritated at the slightest change!?
Actually kinda shocked at the state of the skirting, how bad it is. Wonder if it was a botched paint job by Mario, like the grey wall tiles. Looks almost like they've been chewed on. Heh, maybe it was the rats that one time
And really. who has a toasted bacon buttie ?!
And really. who has a toasted bacon buttie ?!
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If he didn’t waste money on crap he and Derek could have a mortgage! I suppose if they did buy, Derek would be tied to him until they were ‘mortgage free’ (cue balloons and Prosecco!) as the house would be in both their names
Gawd save us, check oot Melv's newest piece of skincare - a face roller! 
So aye...
It hurts my eyes and heed to see he keeps buying skincare and has now had a delivery of make-up.
Why Melv? Whyyyyy, lad?
So aye...It hurts my eyes and heed to see he keeps buying skincare and has now had a delivery of make-up.
Why Melv? Whyyyyy, lad?
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See he’s splashed out on Delboy again, a whole £3.99. Maybe they’re sharing the orange butt plug!
He is trying to find his Instagram niche and failing. I see accounts with 25k followers that have multiple companies they work with. And I mean big brands. Not fake as duck wax melts. But then again look at him, what company would want to work with him. He thinks he ' works' with companies such as jaydee and herms 
Noo ma luvlies just incase yez didny realise oor marions skin is rare like really rare his bespoke skin is really rare like aff the scale sensitive, that rare that only oor marions is that bad , nae debates oan this
That’ll be because of its thickness!
Hello ma lovelies just popped oot to buy my absolute no going to lie favourite shower gel and aye it’s different fae the other 3 absolute favourite shower gels I huv showed you this week but nae debates this is my absolute FAVE
And poor deek is being used as a guinea pig to test the body spray face mist so aye and so forth wee Marion is just waiting to see if deek breaks oot before he’ll try it on his super sensitive bespoke boujee skin
edit: marions skin is super rare and aff the scale sensitive nae debates
And poor deek is being used as a guinea pig to test the body spray face mist so aye and so forth wee Marion is just waiting to see if deek breaks oot before he’ll try it on his super sensitive bespoke boujee skin
edit: marions skin is super rare and aff the scale sensitive nae debates
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Ey lads, what's happened to Melv's boujie crystal bead bedside lamps he was gifted?
They matched the ceiling one didn't they? He gushed aboot them for eeges. Gone.
They matched the ceiling one didn't they? He gushed aboot them for eeges. Gone.
I'm sure he said last week it got smashed, by accident, obvs, hence the new lamp! Then again, maybe he got the rageeeee and tossed it!
How dare Mavis expose awe areas of Denzels life, Does the wee prick have permission to discuss wae his hunners and hunners of mafia his Denzels non bespoke facecare routine
.so aye
.so aye
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