Cleaning with Mario #124 Dressed up to sit in the hotel lobby in clothes so small we can see Deek's boaby

[MistyWindows]

My face(s) when I realised we’re almost through another thread and so forth! Almost as fast as Mario’s ability to get a mortgage…. “Lit that” *clicks fingers* IYKYK


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I sent this to my sister with no context and her response made me grasp ma beak

 

[hopethishelpsallthebest]

The plane wouldn't take off with the fat cunt on it. They had to ask 20 people to get off. They could have just had him to get off, he's the equivalent to a wooly mammoth pregnant with quadruplets. So aye. Nests of hands and so forth. Also. #ad not an ad, bought masel.

 

[muscadet]

He probably did 7 loads of washing cause he actually splits colours into colours and all the striped two pieces he bought totally threw him

 

[blueblue]

Sometimes it does honestly scare me how funny we are.

 

[Babybail93]

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Ma hens you're being #treatit if you're no an OG oan this app tae the bespoke #stinksofchristmas ad of 2023. Iconic

I’m not sure what is funnier. Him repeatedly saying his flat absolutely stinks, or him pretending his Mum has ever visited the shit hole

 

[Status:PiningTheBog]

A few questions after dots o doom. how does his hair manage to grow/be styled in 76 different directions, but he only has 43 individual hairs on his head. And why is he wearing what looks like that thing the dentist puts over you before a tooth x-ray.
Has he picked a filter as hard of intelligence as him?! It can’t deal with his stubble and it makes me incandescent with rage to watch, but, hens, I cannae look away.

 

[xxDimplesxx]

7 loads of washing????? I don’t have that much after 2 weeks of doing a road trip of 3000 miles around the USA. I reckon they pissed/shat themselves 7 times a day to get that much!!

 

[Fanta lemon]

My favourite Mario story was when he was out for a walk and a nikita dug started chasing him to get away, he opened someone's back gate and jumped into their garden to hide from it, and of course it happened to be a family who knew and loved Mario from the app well anyway, turns out the nikita dug was actually blind or another favourite was the time he just got out of the shower and the door went, he apparently went and opened it completely in the nip and the poor postie had the fright of his life, seeing marions clean shaven mini mushroom

 

[hopethishelpsallthebest]

He's giving us cunts what we want. Thanks Manio for catering to us. I cannae wait to see what bespoke fashion Shein has to offer, more polyester boleros one can hope.

 

[Babybail93]

It’s the Birds Eye microwave steam bag of veg that gives that dinner its bespoke touch of class. Fine dining, if you will

 

[Shesaidwhat?]

Maybes he washed 7 items no 7 cunt loads.

He's obsessed with poor Rosemary also.

Lanzarote in Costa Teguise

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Hahahaha I always think you get what you pay for is he having a laugh? He was singing the praises of a fiver fry up with a solitary sausage and a piece of toast that had been toasted under a lightbulb.

 

[Shrekssister]

For all those enjoying the wiki as well you can thank oor wee @mammaof3 For it, she's the true OG oan that app and built that wiki fae the grun up, being her true self of self.

 

[Madge2022]

So went on trippy just to see if he had put a review on and lo and behold
Who did this ? I fkin love you !!

Oh my God, even Tena lady couldn't handle me pissing masel reading that, fecking brilliant.

Bury me noo cos ah ah'm deid

 

[hopethishelpsallthebest]

The clothes maiden behind the mirror in the living room that’ll no be put away fae weeks the noo, what with all the polyester she’s got tae wash from the holiday. CUNT WASHINGS fae days!

I bet he's got one of them little peg airers for socks, hanging off his shower to dry all his shein frilly knickers, the big fat cow.

 

[hopethishelpsallthebest]

The dirty rancid bastard put them leggings on in lindsay rotte, flew home, and has put them back on. Bet the crotch smells of parmesan.

 

[SellYerMawForASubwaySalad]

He could get a mortgage like THAT and had one in his twenties but gave it all up to cuckoo his aunties box room and then deid deeks flat

It's jist no fur him.

Instead, he saves his petty cash by only paying the cooncil and no the bank, as that rented cooncil flat has a lot of treatit investments in it and the cooncil should be grateful to him fir building it fae the ground up.

Also, he widnae be able tae clean a mortgaged hoose either (coz ya know, when you get a mortgage you can only buy 3 bedroom properties, apparently).

It's jist no fir him.

Instead, he wanders around the nice bought houses of Glasgow Road with wee Deek with matching flasks of hot chocolate, peering through the windows with his kerries, at their tastefully decorated Christmas trees whilst rubbing one out.

It's jist no fir him.

 

[Shrekssister]

Welcome tae all the new lovelies tae the 99% snakes oan this app club. The holiday was a particular highlight for us OGs oan here but stick about because he's genuinely like this all the time. Ask us anything, gies us the chance tae reminisce about the highlights

 

[Noseybonk]

So went on trippy just to see if he had put a review on and lo and behold
Who did this ? I fkin love you !!

This is everything! I have just been trying to read this out to Mr Noseybonk and couldn’t because I was crying laughing too much. Whoever you are, I salute you 🫡

EDIT - There are not just on this app, there are on all apps now

 

[Babybail93]

There's so many Marionisms. Ahm no an OG so still "getting tae know" a lot of them tae.

What a treatit this guy is tho.

Another favourite compulsory purchase he made was the Ring Doorbell. To go on his front door…… which is inside a block of flats BEHIND a communal door with an entry phone system

 

[DoodlePoodle]

OK you lot this thread needs to come with an actual warning. “Read this and find yourself speaking Marionesque vernacular at every opportunity”
I’ve been gardening today in my actual back garden (smell the wealth) and muttering “let’s put that plant in it’s own wee bespoke pot over there” etc etc. It’s bloody catching!!