Cleaning with Mario #106 Five foundations and no hoose

[Madge2022]

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I don’t even know where to start with this… The hair, the eyebrows, the wonky eyes…

Wan eye still in East Kilbride, the other haufway hame oan the McGill's bus.

Sing that Martin, also.

 

[Ferguson]

New post alert and guess what? It’s utter bollocks with the usual mangled, word-salad English.
Do yourself a favour, Marion, and sign up for a help yourself to better English course next month instead of faffing around with plastic pumpkins and hot chocolate. Also.
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Stop you've achieved absolutely zilch.
You're still in a cuckooed bedsit, still have no friends, debt is higher than ever & you're a stone heavier also.

 

[muscadet]

He gives me Mrs Button from Button moon vibes with that hair and I’m sorry for showing my age if you don’t know get to know

 

[Daisy Uncle]

Thinking over his previous social outings. Bingo with deek, yes really. A night oot at a working men's club with the lasses from work, all old. An overnight stay in a hotel when Hannah came for his birthday. Paying to see hunch. Getting escorted into and out of London like hes in a witness protection program. That's it, apart from the endless beige microwaved meals. ooh no, the avamay party! When he tanned himself orange and locked Derek out of their hotel room for enjoying himself.

 

[Ferguson]

The poor wee lamb was unsettled last night and his carer had to get up with him.

Reminder, this is an almost 40 year old man.

Selfish fat slag.

Whiny voice...
Dereeeek ah cannae settle, oor Soph didnae clap fur meeeeee. Ah need a cup of teeee

 

[CrapEars]

That outfit looks…normal. It looks almost…nice.
I’m hugely disappointed

 

[mrsbucket]

A near spat ma joos out when he referred to himself as a foodie. Being a greedy basterd and being a foodie are two different things. Nae foodie would be chanting Jam Jar and Linwood Farm from the rooftaps.

Gie us peace ya daft slug!

 

[twilightgarden]

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. He looks like the head from Art Attack and nae debates. Same beak and poached egg peepers. The head is better looking also. Factual.

 

[muscadet]

My body is my own personal journey I’m deed but I’m also gonny use that quote from now on I love it

 

[Madge2022]

His flat must absolute stink of cat piss and he can’t even open the windows or that cat will try to leap for freedom. Probably why he’s got to have wax melts, candles and reed diffusers in there. I love cats but honestly I couldn’t have one if there was no outside space for them. For on thing it’s just cruel for an animal who’s basic instinct is to roam and explore. And for another they’re always just shutting in your house!

Stay in your ain lane and get sum class. Rayn has the high footfall area tae explore, the bespoke size of a postage stamp. No tae mention she also has access tae the wifi password there.

I wonder who is watching Rayn for Rotty 2024, used Rayn as an excuse not to go on holiday before.

Rayn pure hates Martin, Rayn is a tattler.

 

[Poptart]

Are we supposed to be standing on the doorstep at 8pm tonight clapping him like we did the NHS?

 

[MrsJustinTimberlake]

Unsettled I’ll give him bloody unsettled the little wanker!! Try being up all night with 2 out of 3 kids being unwell and a baby who still thinks it’s acceptable to get up at 4am!!!

the bespoke bags under my eyes this morning will be bigger than Maz’s holiday suitcase

edited to add: no Rayn wasn’t cuddled up to you all night more like she was trying to smother you in your sleep lard arse. Oh he’s really pissed me off this morning, he’d never cope with having children

 

[hopethishelpsallthebest]

When Hinch didnae buy fresh breeze also.

 

[hopethishelpsallthebest]

You've not always been slender, hen. Your heed alone weighs 19 stone, and that's actual factual. Also.

 

[Sickofinstagramcrap]

Story 999999 of things that never happened.
He does realise that people who have an opinion aren't actually trolls and we dont hide said opinions from friends, family etc…
I actually sit with my work pals when i am in the office and we all have a good laugh and joke at fannies like mario and i show my husband, mum etc tattle… its not a dirty wee secret?!

 

[Shmebulock]

Secretaries on RECEPTIONARIES

 

[Babybail93]

I want to know where all these DMs are apparently coming from? I work for a company that the Huns absolutely love! We have over 3million followers on insta and Facebook.

I overlook the social media messages and at most we get 30 a day per account. He is such a Billy Bullshit

 

[Caw1982]

When Hinch didnae buy fresh breeze also.

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What the fuck has he won for anyone to be clapping for him?
I’m so confused Maz. Apologies if I’ve caused you A Fence

 

[DeloresBawbag]

By fresh air, he means wandering b&m, home bargains, the range, Asda, Dunelum, tk maxx, Poundland etc for more tat. Sure you get fresh air wandering across carparks into the next shop.

 

[hopethishelpsallthebest]

Just choked on my roastie, factual.