Me three but let it be known us Virgos DO NOT claim him! He is an exception to the rule.me too hen
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Ma hen were all chanting you oan fae the rooftops for a speedy recovery keep your phone held high and walk like an elephant out that place "hospital" ASAP, capeesh?
Happy autumn oan this dayn of dawn, aye. Get cosy also.
He wishes his surroundings resembled this
happy autumn ma lovelie, tattie hearts and fishy garlands to you on this day of the dawn 
Happy Autumn my lovelies 
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Al have You's'e know am sitting in me hoosecoat looking oot at ma garden which is soaked like that. Pumpkins haven't grown yet either, factual. No tit though. Ma security oan this app has been *compromised* also.
I like to call this you’re an idiot
Morning ma hens, started my day by finding a typo in the NYT crossword, think they actually meant beejong.
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Christ on a bike, he wrote hey, not hay.
Hay my luvlies. Is August Autumn? No. It’s not. It is summer and it will be until the test of time.
Canny cope with this August is Autumn shite. Capeesh.
Canny cope with this August is Autumn shite. Capeesh.
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Once again for Mario in the cheap seats - August is still summer ya moronic goblin
Even with September being the official start of Autumn, it's more like Late Summer because it's always still so warm well until closer to October. He's such an idiot. Imagine getting all your Autumn tat out in August when it's still 30c outside
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Hey Summer! Siri, show me someone who can't tell the difference between shopping seasons, and actual seasons... Oh it's instead of a personality, ok.
First rule of trying to be a beauty influencer. Have decent skin! You can't go around trying to promote beauty products when you look like Uncle Fester's younger brother!He’s copied Andrew and done an empties post but couldn’t even spell the word right.
I've seen several influencers recently doing video ads for Home Bargains on Instagram. I've never seen or heard of them before, but find it amusing that Mario's never done one for them?.... Then again, they've obviously witnessed how shite he is doing his recordings in his flat
That lane looks suspiciously like the enterance to our horses old paddocks. Smell the wealth!
Perhaps they've taken up a wee boujee hobby. No... thought not!
Mario jumping on the tummy shivers bandwagon now is he? 
Isn't Lorna his therapy? 
Or is he openly admitting that problems in life can't be solved by a twee motivational quote?
Maybe he'd sleep better if he didn't exist on a diet of beige, grease and sodium, actually got some exercise and put his phone down for half a minute in the evening. How's the vitamin journey working out, I wonder.
Or is he openly admitting that problems in life can't be solved by a twee motivational quote? Maybe he'd sleep better if he didn't exist on a diet of beige, grease and sodium, actually got some exercise and put his phone down for half a minute in the evening. How's the vitamin journey working out, I wonder.
Ma lovelies maybe I need to visit small business specsavers to get my kerry katonas checked but that bottle is full not wmpty, you can see the bubble of liquid in the top left?!
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