- Status
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Imagine giving that a hand job 
It would take 25 minutes to get all the way round it!Imagine giving that a hand job
I saw that man on this morning and they had some kind of prop of the length and girth of his dick and I just thought such a shame he’s so ugly 
Fucken hell imagine trying to get ya gob round that
It doesn't need a handjob, that thing needs its own turtleneck jumper. God damn. Can't say I'm eager to start knitting 
Imagine trying to give jim a bj, you'd dislocate your jaw just looking at it.
Imagine trying to give jim a bj, you'd dislocate your jaw just looking at it.
me.
How do they know he’s got the largest knob in the world anyway? They didn’t line all the fellas up and check.
My fella wouldn’t even sign up to be in the lineup to check he’d have no chance
just kidding poor sod is the butt of all my jokes
just kidding poor sod is the butt of all my jokes
I’m obviously looking at the pic far too much but he looks like Ian Beale if he put weight on
I fell down a rabbit hole while researching that guy - there's an old bloke in Mexico who started attaching weights to his when he was a teenager and it's now 19" but it's over 50% foreskin
The expression on his face is just ‘ey me face is up ere love’
Imagine if this fella is a grower as well. If that’s it on flop it’ll be the length of a bleeping lamppost when he’s got a hard on
While we're on the subject, enjoy my festive new profile picture
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‘Nuff said. Who in their right mind would do that?!
At what point a dick gives into gravity tho
My fella told me he was helping his mate clear out his other mates bedroom once cos his mate was moving. So they were going through all his stuff and found this device that you put on your cock to stretch it to make it bigger I said what did you do and he said he screamed and threw it
I fell out with this said mate a few months ago and I was ranting and I said ‘if he says anything to me I’ll say go stretch your cock you tiny dicked little nobhead’ and my fella was like don’t you dare
I said what did you do and he said he screamed and threw it I fell out with this said mate a few months ago and I was ranting and I said ‘if he says anything to me I’ll say go stretch your cock you tiny dicked little nobhead’ and my fella was like don’t you dare
All this talk is making me realise the only 
I've had near me for months is my vibrator.
I've had near me for months is my vibrator. - Status