You dodged a bullet when many would have stuck it outThis is an issue that I had with my ex-boyfriend. We decided to babysit his little brother to see if we could handle a child. He would let the child do everything he wanted. Every time I would say no and impose boundaries the child would scream because no one imposed boundaries before. This is was a huge incompatibility problem for us.
I’ve seen similar behaviour from parents too. I can’t understand the mentality. I feel like my mum took pleasure from teaching me I couldn’t have what I wanted when I wanted!I used to have some friends who have since divorced, but they raised their baby on the assumption that if his needs were not being met 100%, then they were going to cause him irreparable psychological damage. A group of us went to the pub when this kid was a toddler - he was throwing stuff, parents were like, "Can you pick up your shoes mate? Can you say hello, buddy?" (Mate, buddy) and when he went to pull the blinds off a window, a friend - not his parent, took him away and said, "No, you don't break things." This kid howled in a rage, because it was one of the only times anyone had given him a boundary of any kind.
They've had no end of problems with him at school - refusing to wear the uniform, disrespecting teachers, refusing to do homework etc. They then started seeking a medical label for his behaviour, refusing to acknowledge he was a product of the permissive environment they had raised him in. They did not get the medical labels they desired.
A lot of our friendships are with childfree people anyway, but out of the parents we know, they are their parents and their children are the children - not their pals, mates or the centre of the universe.
I agree totally. This reminds me of a FB post my friend posted a while back.I agree. I can’t understand why so
I said it in another post, but I find it shocking when I’m out and about and there’s so many kids hitting their parents and calling them stupid and screaming. It’s not acceptable, I never hit my parents, I wouldn’t dare and I wouldn’t dream of calling them stupid either.
It’s so true. My life wouldn’t have been worth living if I’d done that!I agree totally. This reminds me of a FB post my friend posted a while back.
Basically he said, if he had called his parents stupid or insulted them in public, when he was younger, then he would probably have ended up in a shallow grave next to the dog in the back garden.
Ofcourse he was exaggerating, but everyone got the point.
I remember having a massive tantrum in the middle of a theme park when I was a kid and my dad dragged me back to the car and we went home immediately... These days you hear parents trying to reason with their kids or threatening to go home but never following through (I suppose when you've spent £100+ on a day out you're hardly going to go home after 10 minutes). But I'll never forget feeling absolutely mortified that we had to go home and that my dad made a scene (though I was probably making a bigger sceneIt’s so true. My life wouldn’t have been worth living if I’d done that!
I feel this so hard, I literally have what I would describe as nightmares about finding out I’m pregnant. Wake up in a cold sweat. No thank you!I just can’t imagine anything other than sheer terror at seeing a positive test.
I'm almost 30 and whenever a friend or colleague announces they're pregnant in my head I think 'ooohh no what are you going to do?'How can I stop my immediate (inner!) reaction when I see another friend announce their pregnancy being “that’s a shame”Like I am genuinely happy for them but it always feels like that’s one less friend I have now. So utterly selfish of me. I just can’t imagine anything other than sheer terror at seeing a positive test. Sometimes I feel like an alien - women are meant to want kids, what is wrong with me!
I had a pregnancy scare (well wasn’t really a scare, just had a really late period so did a couple of tests) and I can honestly say I felt an actual hatred towards what I thought might be growing inside me like it was just some parasiteI feel this so hard, I literally have what I would describe as nightmares about finding out I’m pregnant. Wake up in a cold sweat. No thank you!
I want to hand them a leaflet like in The Simpsons, "So you've ruined your life." #tongueincheek-ishHow can I stop my immediate (inner!) reaction when I see another friend announce their pregnancy being “that’s a shame”Like I am genuinely happy for them but it always feels like that’s one less friend I have now. So utterly selfish of me. I just can’t imagine anything other than sheer terror at seeing a positive test. Sometimes I feel like an alien - women are meant to want kids, what is wrong with me!
Exactly what I'm like!! My friend (who already has kids and we're both mid-thirties) told me her older sister was pregnant and I was like "and is she... Happy?" I just assumed it was not planned because why would it be plannedI'm almost 30 and whenever a friend or colleague announces they're pregnant in my head I think 'ooohh no what are you going to do?'I just can't comprehend that people would choose to have children willingly!
And worse, use you as a sounding board when the kids are driving them up the wall because they fear shaming if they vent to their parent friends. We get it, parenting can be difficult and children can be challenging, but we're not the emotional dumpsters to score 'cool hip' parent points with, because you think your child is behaving like a ****.I need to find more CF friends so that I don’t have to keep worrying about when the next one goes over to the dark side
Omg, I feel this so much. Someone in my family has a 2 year old - so not even a baby anymore - and the other day I got a text saying ‘wow what a big boy X is, he did a wee in his potty!’ With an image…I was thinking no, surely they didn’t send me a picture of this child’s urine in a potty? Yep, they did. Honestly, completely bizarre behaviour. I get that every parent thinks their kid is the cutest thing since sliced bread but SURELY they cannot think we all want to see this kind of thing? What on earth goes through these people’s heads…I will never understand it.A friend sent me a video of her child puking the other day. Why?!?!
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