Childfree by choice #6 Sleeping well at night, petition for childfree flights

[mdizzl3]

I‘ve done my supermarket shop online since I left home for this reason! Can’t bleeping stand all the kids in supermarkets. Only ever pop in to get the odd thing and try to be out as quickly as possible. Plus it’s freezing cold in there. Not to be rude but it would be my worst nightmare to work in one - imagine hearing screaming kids ALL DAY! It’s bad enough when they’re playing in my neighbours garden.

Also I agree that abusive nasty people love jobs like primary teacher/nursery nurse/carer - you can lord it over vulnerable people and get away with it! Can’t do that in an office, you’d get reported to HR in no time.

I think some women’s desperation to have a child takes over. Case and point with my oldest friend.
Also I do think it’s hard to find a man who doesn’t have some of these traits. Men get jealous and they also don’t have to change their life. They should but as a mother you have to. Today’s social still puts them emphasis on the mothers as the main cater.

Tbf with the useless men, do you blame them? Half the time they probably didn’t want the kid, plus so often the mum goes full Gollum over the child and not only breastfeeds but does everything else so the dad feels like a useless extra anyway - may as well enjoy yourself. Then they never get the same sort of attachment to the child, find them annoying, spend more time at work and hobbies and the cycle continues.

 

[hannah123]

Did anyone else have friends or people they knew at school who you were convinced would never have kids and then they did?

two girls I was friends with in high school were both so similar, both not maternal, both bullies to things smaller and weaker, both quite aggressive and neither had any interest in kids and actually hated them.

one got pregnant unplanned and now has two kids and the other planned the pregnancy. I was really shocked and I still am

Yes my sister. She spent the first 30 years of her life saying she hated kids, never wanted them and just wanted dogs. Then she mistakenly got pregnant because of a mess up with her pill, she sadly had a miscarriage but that made her almost obsessed with the idea of having a baby. She obviously loves her daughter and works hard to provide for her but I still see no maternal instinct and she has zero patience, my niece will for certain be an only child.

 

[mediocrehouseplant]

Spotted on Reddit this morning and 0 comments so far... how do we think this is going to go?

 

[HoGi]

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This is a tough one.

At my sisters wedding on Friday there were a lot of kids. I was a bridesmaid and I ended up entertaining a lot of them at various points of the day. Most of them I had met before but some I hadn't. But I think because I look like my sister they were drawn to me. I was happily chatting to them or complimenting pictures/dancing throughout the day.

However living with a kid is different. You are a part of their life whether you like it or not. I do think outright ignoring the kid is mean and probably a bit damaging to the child. But on the flip side it isn't her kid... mum probably needs to tell the kid not to talk to the lodger in the morning. But the toddler isn't going to understand.

Seems as though mum wants her cake (I.e. money from lodger) and to eat it (lodger behaves in a way she wants). This has happened over time with every friendship come lodger situation I have known. It starts as a favour and then the landlord/lady ends up resenting the lodger for some behaviour. At the end of the day they pay for a room. So long as they aren't trashing the place they aren't obliged to behave or do anything you want.

 

[Rippedjeanmaybe]

Spotted on Reddit this morning and 0 comments so far... how do we think this is going to go?

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It’s a difficult one, but I don’t think the lodger should be living in a house with a child if they dislike children enough to totally ignore them.

Long term it would be quite damaging for the child to be continuously ignored by a person living in their house. It isn’t a healthy environment. It’s the child’s house too and you can’t expect them to tip toe round the lodger, that’s not fair.

Personally I wouldn’t choose to spend anytime around anyone’s else’s kids, but if I do then I do acknowledge them when they speak to me, it’s rude to ignore anyone, even a child.

 

[JoeBloggs]

Spotted on Reddit this morning and 0 comments so far... how do we think this is going to go?

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Clearly the roommate moved in when the child was already around, therefore she knew what she was getting into. Saying hi isn’t hard, if she was expected to play or babysit and didn’t then fair enough but to ignore the child or any house mate is pretty rude. But then again, she is paying to be there. It is a business transaction and therefore no requirement to be friendly.

 

[mcfeez]

Spotted on Reddit this morning and 0 comments so far... how do we think this is going to go?

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I find the expectation to interact with kids annoying however I do think this is a bit rude. It really doesn't take that much to greet them, smile, talk a little. Would be a different story if she was expecting the friend to help parent or babysit a lot or something.

 

[Anne1448]

Yes my sister. She spent the first 30 years of her life saying she hated kids, never wanted them and just wanted dogs. Then she mistakenly got pregnant because of a mess up with her pill, she sadly had a miscarriage but that made her almost obsessed with the idea of having a baby. She obviously loves her daughter and works hard to provide for her but I still see no maternal instinct and she has zero patience, my niece will for certain be an only child.

Isn't this called "experimental child" or something like that?

It is more talked about among men. They swear they don't want kids then when a "oops moment" happen they want to keep it. Fast forward and they do everything in their power to either not spend time with the child or straight up walk away from the child's existence.

 

[pinkmug]

Spotted on Reddit this morning and 0 comments so far... how do we think this is going to go?

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I usually support the childfree adults who want to avoid the kids, but the lodger is just rude. The girl isn't just another roommate that she's not getting along with, she has to be in that house because her mum is and she won't understand why she's ignored, it'll hurt her feelings. It costs nothing to be civil. I find it difficult to interact with kids as well so I feel for the lodger if that's the case, but just say hi, answer the odd question or compliment a badly drawn animal and get on with your day. Or live in a houseshare without children.

 

[shadowcat5]

I usually support the childfree adults who want to avoid the kids, but the lodger is just rude. The girl isn't just another roommate that she's not getting along with, she has to be in that house because her mum is and she won't understand why she's ignored, it'll hurt her feelings. It costs nothing to be civil. I find it difficult to interact with kids as well so I feel for the lodger if that's the case, but just say hi, answer the odd question or compliment a badly drawn animal and get on with your day. Or live in a houseshare without children.

agreed. There’s a difference between not liking kids and being rude to one. Kids are still humans. You don’t have to do an enthusiastic voice and chat about peppa pig, but at least say hello


that said though, I would like the perspective of the room mate on this because I wouldn’t be surprised if there was more to it

 

[JoeBloggs]

that said though, I would like the perspective of the room mate on this because I wouldn’t be surprised if there was more to it

I thought this too, so many times parents exaggerate situations because their sprog is so important to them and they don’t get why others don’t see it.

 

[shadowcat5]

I thought this too, so many times parents exaggerate situations because their sprog is so important to them and they don’t get why others don’t see it.

that was my thought - I picked up on “excited to see you” like I get a 2 year old would be excited but that made me think there was more too it

 

[Anne1448]

I just came back from the city and I am fuming

Our main ways to the city center have narrow curbs so most people walk in line to allow a two way passage. For some reason, parents with young kids think that it is a good idea to take the whole curb to themselves. Why would you walk in line when you can block everyone, right?

When I finally reach a coffee shop to enjoy my tiramisu and an overpriced latte, a woman with a stroller decides to put it right next to the staff's exit. Resulting in people having to queue to get their drinks instead of the staff delivering it to each table.

Why are parents so self-absorbed?

 

[mediocrehouseplant]

I thought this too, so many times parents exaggerate situations because their sprog is so important to them and they don’t get why others don’t see it.

This was my thoughts on it, I feel like there's backstory.

 

[Pebbleybeach]

This was my thoughts on it, I feel like there's backstory.

I assumed that when flatmate says ‘good morning’ to the child. The child then will not leave her alone and the mother does nothing to stop it. I’m being unfair assuming that probably but it’s because I’ve experienced it! Child staying in a hotel I was in and in the morning at breakfast the child said hello so I said hello, the child then didn’t go back to their own table despite me saying go back to mummy and mummy being at the table next to mine, understandably because child wants to chat to strangers who are nice to them. But the mother should have called the child away. And that’s not my only experience of Stuff like that!

I can just imagine flatmate trying to eat breakfast and get ready for work and the mother doing nothing to keep the child occupied.

Obviously I could be wrong and flatmate could be a complete cow!

 

[ATV2021]

Mum Sparks Debate After Asking Child-Free Colleague To Work Her Christmas Day Shift | TOTUM

A woman has sparked a debate online after revealing she had asked her child-free colleague to withdraw a leave request and work her Christmas Day shift for her.

www.totum.com

Of course it's on MN and of course the child has needs but...does childfree mean you're not allowed to have Xmas off work

 

[Blond3g1rl]

Mum Sparks Debate After Asking Child-Free Colleague To Work Her Christmas Day Shift | TOTUM

A woman has sparked a debate online after revealing she had asked her child-free colleague to withdraw a leave request and work her Christmas Day shift for her.

www.totum.com

Of course it's on MN and of course the child has needs but...does childfree mean you're not allowed to have Xmas off work

I posted about this thread when it was ‘live’ it had pages and pages of responses.

 

[Princesst]

I assumed that when flatmate says ‘good morning’ to the child. The child then will not leave her alone and the mother does nothing to stop it. I’m being unfair assuming that probably but it’s because I’ve experienced it! Child staying in a hotel I was in and in the morning at breakfast the child said hello so I said hello, the child then didn’t go back to their own table despite me saying go back to mummy and mummy being at the table next to mine, understandably because child wants to chat to strangers who are nice to them. But the mother should have called the child away. And that’s not my only experience of Stuff like that!

I can just imagine flatmate trying to eat breakfast and get ready for work and the mother doing nothing to keep the child occupied.

Obviously I could be wrong and flatmate could be a complete cow!

I don’t get why kids aren’t afraid of strangers anymore. When i was a kid or even now I won’t walk up to randoms and start talking to them. I was in a cheapie shop the other day (aka basically just a glorified playground now) but I needed cheap furniture and a child was running wild around, no parents in sight. It was insanely busy, people everywhere and this tiny little girl comes barrelling up to me and my husband who are mid conversation, grabs my arm and was all HELLO WHAT ARE YOU BUYING, LET ME LOOK! I was just shocked as she must have been 3/4 tops, left to totally wander and no issues approaching 2 complete strangers & touching me. She hung around, I was super uncomfortable because who the hell does this kid belong to & I’m not responsible for her?? after a while she then ran off again and about 5 mins later the parents were going around all the aisles looking for her I guess but with no urgency. I’m a true crime nerd & there are SICKOS out there. Someone could have her out the shop in seconds and no one would even notice as it’s so busy and loud and all the kids are screaming anyway so what’s one more if she did scream and cry if someone took her. Later on we saw her dodging cars in the car park with the parents the other side just looking like happy space cadets. I don’t understand as I don’t even feel maternal but all I could see was DANGER & parents are meant to love their kids so much but they don’t seem to care about their safety anymore it’s terrifying. We live in an area that has a high amount of SO’s in half way houses as well which is fairly common knowledge

 

[sushimama]

The last friend from our friend group is pregnant. We’re a group of 6, all friends since high school. Three of them have little babies (all under 2) and my best friend got pregnant this summer. Today my other best friend also told me her news.
I am so so very happy for all of them. But I cried my entire way home. Because no matter what it will never be the same again. I know it’s selfish.

I hate that everything’s changing for me too.

 

[ElectricDreams]

There are quite a few people I went to school with who are childfree (we are 40/41). Some of them I would have expected, others not, likewise there are a few who have had children who I thought would be too career driven to want them.

My best friend from school put so much thought into having her children. She bored me for years telling me how she would want to meet someone, be with them for 2 years before getting engaged, then take 2 years to plan the wedding. But then she'd want to be married for at least two years before getting pregnant and be so far along the career ladder. But she would want to be pregnant with her first before she was 30. And she wouldn't want a summer born baby, so she'd have to conceive it in around March. Then she'd want at least 2 years before the next one (again, ideally not summer born) but she wouldn't want to be any older than 35 by this point... And she did it exactly to plan!

I really don't think I could give anything that much consideration!