Childfree by choice #6 Sleeping well at night, petition for childfree flights

[Lola Ruby]

One of my annoyances is that around this time of year you log on to Teams and Every. Single. Day it's "poor little X has got a cold today, bless her" or "Y has a sniffly nose and an earache, so best if I stay home with him today" Like I get that they need to tell us that they'll be WFH but it's just so boring because it's every day and then you have to be like "Ah sorry to hear that, hope little X / Y gets better soon" and then you lose track of which kids are sick and which aren't Some of my colleagues' kids are sick CONSTANTLY.

 

[HoGi]

One of my annoyances is that around this time of year you log on to Teams and Every. Single. Day it's "poor little X has got a cold today, bless her" or "Y has a sniffly nose and an earache, so best if I stay home with him today" Like I get that they need to tell us that they'll be WFH but it's just so boring because it's every day and then you have to be like "Ah sorry to hear that, hope little X / Y gets better soon" and then you lose track of which kids are sick and which aren't Some of my colleagues' kids are sick CONSTANTLY.

So pleased the only people on my team who have kids the kids are in their 20s and 30s

The rest of my team are child free and happy lol

 

[Rippedjeanmaybe]

I’m lucky I literally work with two other people, one woman in her 50’s with grown up kids & a man who has no children

 

[xxAprilxx]

just commenting here to send you lots of love i hope everything goes okay with your radiotherapy in the new year x

edit: also, to add, this only proves to me that dull people have children because it will give their otherwise empty lives some kind of meaning. they then cannot compute that people have things outside of children because they never did themselves, but you would think people in cancer forums would have more compassion.

Thank you

Exactly! There is so much to live for in this life. It is sad that a lot of people think that living anything other than the 'traditional' family life doesn't mean anything.

 

[peachesandcreamz]

One of my annoyances is that around this time of year you log on to Teams and Every. Single. Day it's "poor little X has got a cold today, bless her" or "Y has a sniffly nose and an earache, so best if I stay home with him today" Like I get that they need to tell us that they'll be WFH but it's just so boring because it's every day and then you have to be like "Ah sorry to hear that, hope little X / Y gets better soon" and then you lose track of which kids are sick and which aren't Some of my colleagues' kids are sick CONSTANTLY.

Exactly, everyone's kids are sick ALL the time, and then of course they have to work from home, leaving everyone else in the office covering for them for things like phone calls and post. Why am I taking on extra work almost daily because your kid got sick? Because you undoubtedly took him to a party/the park/an activity where they went and licked windows and caught something?

I've always thought it's a bit strange how people are allowed to be off work if their child is sick. Why is it up to the employer to make allowances for that? They are hiring YOU, not your family? You chose to have this kid, shouldn't you be sorting out childcare?

 

[mousey]

One of my annoyances is that around this time of year you log on to Teams and Every. Single. Day it's "poor little X has got a cold today, bless her" or "Y has a sniffly nose and an earache, so best if I stay home with him today" Like I get that they need to tell us that they'll be WFH but it's just so boring because it's every day and then you have to be like "Ah sorry to hear that, hope little X / Y gets better soon" and then you lose track of which kids are sick and which aren't Some of my colleagues' kids are sick CONSTANTLY.

oh my god absolutely this!! Also with it being this time of year, people just disappearing to go and watch Nativity plays - your two year old will not notice or remember you being there or not.

It made me decide, if I’m ever a boss of a company, I would add up all the extra time parents wfh or have off randomly for their sick kids and give the child free staff equal amount days off for free.

 

[shadowcat5]

oh my god absolutely this!! Also with it being this time of year, people just disappearing to go and watch Nativity plays - your two year old will not notice or remember you being there or not.

It made me decide, if I’m ever a boss of a company, I would add up all the extra time parents wfh or have off randomly for their sick kids and give the child free staff equal amount days off for free.

Who is voluntarily going to a kid's nativity anyway? I'd rather be in work.

Scrap that actually, I think of like a million other things I would rather do than listen to some kids screech the words to oh little town of Bethlehem off key. That list includes work, sitting around waiting for the emergency doctors appointment which you know will mean you're there for an hour in the waiting room, scrubbing my shower grout clean, iron, sort through my old stuff and create a donate pile which will probably sit in the boot of my car until I can be arsed to donate it... to name a few things.

 

[mousey]

Hahaha yeah I genuinely couldn’t imagine anything worse than sitting through a nativity. Growing up my parents never went to any of my school plays, they had to work! Didn’t harm me.

 

[Princesst]

Exactly, everyone's kids are sick ALL the time, and then of course they have to work from home, leaving everyone else in the office covering for them for things like phone calls and post. Why am I taking on extra work almost daily because your kid got sick? Because you undoubtedly took him to a party/the park/an activity where they went and licked windows and caught something?

I've always thought it's a bit strange how people are allowed to be off work if their child is sick. Why is it up to the employer to make allowances for that? They are hiring YOU, not your family? You chose to have this kid, shouldn't you be sorting out childcare?

Yes! It does my head in. If I’m sick my husband can’t use that as excuse to stay with me . Also seeing people’s kids on zoom or teams winds me up. Sometimes they’re like “child xyz would like to say hi to everyone” It’s so inappropriate and unprofessional but the bosses don’t seem to care/not allowed to say anything. My husband has calls with many people high up in his company and they do the same with their kids, even speaking to customers and things on Teams. He asked about how it portrays the company to the customer once and the higher ups went ballistic. I don’t get it.

Also I don’t think my parents ever asked me what I wanted to eat in a line of waiting people … not that we could afford to have takeaways much but id be given a sausage or a couple of fish fingers and that’d be the end of it.

To add to that we had people viewing our house during covid when we were trying to move and so many people would say “oh we have to bring the kids back to see what they think, it’s their home too!” … they’re not paying for it though are they??! Growing up I lived in a tiny house, with a tiny bedroom as that’s all my parents could afford and that was the end of it. I had no part in it. I don’t get how they get so much say/choices. Being a kid now is absolutely fantastic as you have the run of everything and no one ever says no.

 

[Blond3g1rl]

One of my annoyances is that around this time of year you log on to Teams and Every. Single. Day it's "poor little X has got a cold today, bless her" or "Y has a sniffly nose and an earache, so best if I stay home with him today" Like I get that they need to tell us that they'll be WFH but it's just so boring because it's every day and then you have to be like "Ah sorry to hear that, hope little X / Y gets better soon" and then you lose track of which kids are sick and which aren't Some of my colleagues' kids are sick CONSTANTLY.

could be worse. I work with a girl in her early 20s who is very immature, very sheltered upbringing. She called in sick today as she’s ‘got a tummy ache’. What are you, 5?!

 

[nycinthesun]

One of my annoyances is that around this time of year you log on to Teams and Every. Single. Day it's "poor little X has got a cold today, bless her" or "Y has a sniffly nose and an earache, so best if I stay home with him today" Like I get that they need to tell us that they'll be WFH but it's just so boring because it's every day and then you have to be like "Ah sorry to hear that, hope little X / Y gets better soon" and then you lose track of which kids are sick and which aren't Some of my colleagues' kids are sick CONSTANTLY.

During each of my Teams calls this week, I just asked everyone how their kids were doing because how am I supposed to remember all your kids' names and ailments? 9/10 times, someone's kid was sick so it was a valid generic question

 

[peachesandcreamz]

I often think about this, and undoubtedly it has already been brought up here, but isn't the concept of maternity/paternity leave a bit wild???

One of my close friends (who I love dearly, and good for her for taking advantage of it) has had 3 children whilst working at our company. You get 6 months full pay, and then it drops to 50% I believe for a further 3 months or so. Wow, if I had the opportunity to take 6 months off work with full pay, that would be life changing! And she's done it 3 times, taking a full year every time.

But because I choose not to have children, I don't see any of the benefit. There should be something available to people who don't wish to take up these benefits. Whether you choose not to have children or you're not able to, why should you miss out on what is essentially paid leave?

Gosh, I know this opinion really wouldn't go down well with most people, and I know parents would argue it's not "time off!" - but it is?? Because YOU chose to take on this huge other responsibility of having a child? Why can't I take on another huge time consuming and expensive side project and get 6 months off paid at a time!

Arghhgrhgrrggrhrghhhhh these are the sorts of things that wind me up But I must look a the bright side, and think about all the freedom I have, the money I save etc. I might envy some of the benefits, but I can sleep easy at night knowing I am certainly not envious of the children!

 

[JoeBloggs]

I often think about this, and undoubtedly it has already been brought up here, but isn't the concept of maternity/paternity leave a bit wild???

One of my close friends (who I love dearly, and good for her for taking advantage of it) has had 3 children whilst working at our company. You get 6 months full pay, and then it drops to 50% I believe for a further 3 months or so. Wow, if I had the opportunity to take 6 months off work with full pay, that would be life changing! And she's done it 3 times, taking a full year every time.

But because I choose not to have children, I don't see any of the benefit. There should be something available to people who don't wish to take up these benefits. Whether you choose not to have children or you're not able to, why should you miss out on what is essentially paid leave?

Gosh, I know this opinion really wouldn't go down well with most people, and I know parents would argue it's not "time off!" - but it is?? Because YOU chose to take on this huge other responsibility of having a child? Why can't I take on another huge time consuming and expensive side project and get 6 months off paid at a time!

Arghhgrhgrrggrhrghhhhh these are the sorts of things that wind me up But I must look a the bright side, and think about all the freedom I have, the money I save etc. I might envy some of the benefits, but I can sleep easy at night knowing I am certainly not envious of the children!

I know every parent will say it is not time off, but so many go 'last day of maternity leave ' Why should a company pay for you to bring up your kid at full pay while the rest of us take on your job etc.

We also pay into the NI unfairly. We never get to redeem the perks, free prescription, maternity pay, education (for kids) etc.

 

[Blond3g1rl]

I often think about this, and undoubtedly it has already been brought up here, but isn't the concept of maternity/paternity leave a bit wild???

One of my close friends (who I love dearly, and good for her for taking advantage of it) has had 3 children whilst working at our company. You get 6 months full pay, and then it drops to 50% I believe for a further 3 months or so. Wow, if I had the opportunity to take 6 months off work with full pay, that would be life changing! And she's done it 3 times, taking a full year every time.

But because I choose not to have children, I don't see any of the benefit. There should be something available to people who don't wish to take up these benefits. Whether you choose not to have children or you're not able to, why should you miss out on what is essentially paid leave?

Gosh, I know this opinion really wouldn't go down well with most people, and I know parents would argue it's not "time off!" - but it is?? Because YOU chose to take on this huge other responsibility of having a child? Why can't I take on another huge time consuming and expensive side project and get 6 months off paid at a time!

Arghhgrhgrrggrhrghhhhh these are the sorts of things that wind me up But I must look a the bright side, and think about all the freedom I have, the money I save etc. I might envy some of the benefits, but I can sleep easy at night knowing I am certainly not envious of the children!

There was a thread about this on mumsnet recently. It went as expected.

 

[EyeLoveIcelands]

Working parents can get 6 months full pay, flexible or part time working when they come back, while non-mothers are expected to be in the office every day until retirement or need a “proper” reason to go part time. They can also use their kids as excuse to leave early, work from home more than the policy allows, come in late, demand leave around Bank Holidays (because play school doesn’t exist duh) etc.

We need an influential childfree person or big company to campaign for us. Why shouldn’t we have paid time off to pursue personal things too?

This is why I pretty much do what I want on my WFH days. Play the system where you can like they do - if you can.

 

[mousey]

We had someone at my work who was off on maternity then like 3 months after she came back is pregnant again and will be off for another year. Two years pretty much in a row not working. After the 2nd pregnancy was announced I asked if there was anything in place for me to take a sabbatical or anything to almost match that and was denied, of course!!

 

[EyeLoveIcelands]

@mousey
Shameless! Or the ones that join pregnant or get pregnant within a year and then pretend to be embarrassed.
I also asked HR what was available for women who opted out of motherhood and it was *crickets*! Its one of many reasons why I don’t bother with any diversity initiatives; everything is catered to women who are mothers.

 

[rosemarina]

I think we need to be careful with this. While I get that it can seem like a pisstake (and it sometimes definitely is), if paid maternity leave didn’t exist, every woman who had a baby would be forced out of the workplace. The men are not going to take this on on a 50:50 basis (even though they should), and it would force even more women into poverty.

Don’t get me wrong, I totally, totally get it, but I try to see it as the price I pay for getting to escape having children. If you gave me 6-12 months off on full pay with the only condition being that I had to look after a baby alone for most of that time, I’d chuck myself off a bleeping bridge. Let them have it if they want it.

It’s so true about diversity initiatives though. Woman and mother are seen as interchangeable in the workplace, which holds the rest of us back.

 

[mdizzl3]

Working parents can get 6 months full pay, flexible or part time working when they come back, while non-mothers are expected to be in the office every day until retirement or need a “proper” reason to go part time. They can also use their kids as excuse to leave early, work from home more than the policy allows, come in late, demand leave around Bank Holidays (because play school doesn’t exist duh) etc.

We need an influential childfree person or big company to campaign for us. Why shouldn’t we have paid time off to pursue personal things too?

This is why I pretty much do what I want on my WFH days. Play the system where you can like they do - if you can.

I was speaking to a childfree colleague at work recently, and I didn’t even realise it but she works 90%. She has 1 day off a fortnight to just chill, play video games, improve her MH. I was shocked because I’ve never known a childfree/young person to be part time - I’ve always wanted to do it but couldn’t afford it and thought it would never get approved. I’m glad someone in my team has set a precedent because in future I’d definitely consider something similar - can do a college course or something on the side!

 

[ElectricDreams]

I'm n

I did the classic british thing of being annoyed but too polite to say anything.

Also not going to lie, I felt a bit bad for the kid. It was stressing me out just listening to it and it wasn't my sandwich
His mum and dad kept asking him if he wanted different things at the same time and he kept pointing at stuff and they'd say 'no you can't have that, do you want xyz?' Then they settled on chicken so then they kept asking if he wanted cheese but then the kid would point to something else he wanted so they'd go 'no you can't have that, do you want cheese?' It was just a disaster. Not the kid's fault obviously.

Although I'm still not sure a 3 and 6 year old are going to eat a whole 6inch sub either given I'm 26 and struggle. I don't think they bothered looking at the menu for the kids meals.

From what I've learnt about kids over the years I'd have never given him the choice... Chicken or cheese or nothing at all!