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I just don’t get it - my manager at work said “you’ll never regret it” about having kids, yet in the 5 months I’ve been in the company has said NOT ONE positive thing about his kids. Just complaining they’re noisy, selfish, rude brats, “little shits”, can’t get no sleep, driving them to 3 different activities, holidays are “like work” etc. I’m like mate…..it sounds a bit like you regret it! You’re not really selling it to me!
Loads of people regret it. There are entire forums/sun forums dedicated to it, numerous articles, books, specific therapy etc. Not to mention all of the stuff I’ve just mentioned but for adults who grew up knowing they were regretted/not wanted. Then add in all the neglected and/abused children and children given up plus all the parents who walk out and never see their kids. How is that ‘never’ regretting it! It’s such an irresponsible thing to say, won’t someone think of the children!
Exactly - for anyone who says that, I can kindly point them in the direction of many Mumsnet/Quora/Reddit threads and Daily Mail articles about people that DO regret it.
If no one regretted it then there wouldn't be absent fathers and mothers who walked out on their children.
So many folks like your manager. They want to come across as martyrs but if you say you don't want the same things as them, it somehow insults and invalidates their choice to them.
Rant. When you have something really nice, or go somewhere expensive, and unhappy parents say: “wait until you become a mother” or “wait until you have kids” - as if the only reason they’re a basic witch is because they had kids.
I find it really offensive that childfree women’s accomplishments are only down to us not breeding. Nothing to do with our luck/blessings, ambition, intellect, skills, hard work.
Snide comments like this also completely ignore the fact that there are happy highflying mums who DO have it all. And I always reply with this citing women I work with to shut them up. Misery loves company, but not mine.
I find it really offensive that childfree women’s accomplishments are only down to us not breeding. Nothing to do with our luck/blessings, ambition, intellect, skills, hard work.
Snide comments like this also completely ignore the fact that there are happy highflying mums who DO have it all. And I always reply with this citing women I work with to shut them up. Misery loves company, but not mine.
I’m not sure this is the right place to say this but if I post it anywhere else, I’ll probably get a load of angry parents jumping down my throat.
Is it just me or are some parents/children overly clingy with each other?
I have friends who have children and have not been apart from them, other than when they’re at school, for their entire lives. One friend has a two year old and has literally never been separated from the child
Maybe this is more of a reflection on my own parents and is skewing my perception but from a young age I would go and spend the night with my grandparents, or I’d go to an aunties for the day while my mum was at work etc, but I was used to being around other people and my mum and dad would go for nights out now and again, knowing that I would settle with whoever was babysitting.
These friends then complain that they never have any time for themselves because the baby/child won’t settle with anyone else, or won’t go anywhere without the parent, and, with my amateur psychologist hat on, I feel it’s because they’ve never been away from their mother and so now they’re a bit older, they aren’t used to it and it makes life really hard for the parent.
Does anyone agree or am I just grumpy because I want an hour for coffee with a friend where there isn’t a small child hanging off them?
Is it just me or are some parents/children overly clingy with each other?
I have friends who have children and have not been apart from them, other than when they’re at school, for their entire lives. One friend has a two year old and has literally never been separated from the child
Maybe this is more of a reflection on my own parents and is skewing my perception but from a young age I would go and spend the night with my grandparents, or I’d go to an aunties for the day while my mum was at work etc, but I was used to being around other people and my mum and dad would go for nights out now and again, knowing that I would settle with whoever was babysitting.
These friends then complain that they never have any time for themselves because the baby/child won’t settle with anyone else, or won’t go anywhere without the parent, and, with my amateur psychologist hat on, I feel it’s because they’ve never been away from their mother and so now they’re a bit older, they aren’t used to it and it makes life really hard for the parent.
Does anyone agree or am I just grumpy because I want an hour for coffee with a friend where there isn’t a small child hanging off them?
My now ex best friend would always bring a child with her for lunch etc and would claim the child would never want to be with their father, always with her. Dad thought it was easier to let mum deal with the child of they were so clingy with her and my friend complained about it, but she made a rod for her own back as she never let her husband get involved. Obviously, I never said my thoughts out loud…. I mean, I don’t have kids, so wouldn’t understand
We drifted apart and I think she has separated from her husband
I don't want to get pregnant because I don't want to ruin my body and get fat.. should I still have kids? hahaha
I was waiting at a crossing today, there was a mum and little girl stood next to me, the mum turned to the girl and said “should we do your maths games when we get home?” And I just thought GOD what a boring life.
Imagine going home to play maths games when you could go home and do literally anything else.
Imagine going home to play maths games when you could go home and do literally anything else.
I know we joke on this thread but on a serious note, I’m in a&e and the kids department is next door, you can hear these kids coming in ill, screaming in pain and like it must be actually tit being a parent of a kid who’s ill. Like it’s tit being me as a patient but duck I can’t imagine how stressful it is when your child is in a state like that
I am so glad I found this thread!
My husband and I decided to go childfree at some point in the last few years (I'm 35, he's 36). I always assumed I would have children because I thought that's just what everyone did. But we just ended up putting it off year after year and we've now discovered the reason is because we're happy with the way things are. Also, I struggle with anxiety and depression and I know if I was to ever have a child, my mental health would fall off a cliff and stay there. It's hard to explain this to people when they suddenly spring the question on me, though! I live in the UK and thankfully don't get it much, but am originally from India and my relatives have no sense of boundaries when it comes to stuff like this. I hate that we have to justify our position and views but it's never the other way around. And even then, I feel like people never really get it.
My husband and I decided to go childfree at some point in the last few years (I'm 35, he's 36). I always assumed I would have children because I thought that's just what everyone did. But we just ended up putting it off year after year and we've now discovered the reason is because we're happy with the way things are. Also, I struggle with anxiety and depression and I know if I was to ever have a child, my mental health would fall off a cliff and stay there. It's hard to explain this to people when they suddenly spring the question on me, though! I live in the UK and thankfully don't get it much, but am originally from India and my relatives have no sense of boundaries when it comes to stuff like this. I hate that we have to justify our position and views but it's never the other way around. And even then, I feel like people never really get it.
I got married on Saturday and no one asked us about kids or mentioned kids, win!
Congratulations and yay!
Thank you! People must know me so well not to mention kids! Also there wasn’t a single child at the wedding or the reception.
I didn’t invite kids to the day, but I did say they could come to the evening, but none came, win!
Congratulations
Congratulations, my new husband was heckled during his speech at our wedding by one of his mates wives asking when we were having babies so it’s not a given. We only invited nephews and nieces to ours (5 out the 6 came) and everybody else seemed happy for a day off
I was at an event over the weekend for a friends new baby and there were a few folks from our school year there as well as others who have new babies, or are currently pregnant. Some have more than one child too and they were all present Although I didn’t get to interact with them much they all looked exhausted, like deeply deeply tired. I kept hearing the parents discuss ‘sleep regression’ and they all had big backpacks to humph around with everything needed for baby inside.
Anyway,I thought none of it looked fun and I came away and both my partner and I were reaffirmed as we left to go relax at home doing as we wished for the rest of the day lol.
Anyway,I thought none of it looked fun and I came away and both my partner and I were reaffirmed as we left to go relax at home doing as we wished for the rest of the day lol.
Congratulations, wishing you both a very happy married life.
As an Indian couple we used to get it as well. Is your husband Indian as well.
I'll guarantee your extended family members are still gossiping. I am in my fifties, and I sometimes get, why didn't you adopt.
It never ends.
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