Absolutely. And I don't hate children. I'm just not maternal and never have been. You can't just go no ta when you've had enough (well you can but...). I'm told "oh but you're so good with kids"....yeah for 20 minutes tops then I'm exhaustedexactly, it also immediately sets you up to feel “wrong”. telling someone that they will feel a complete earth shattering love when their baby moves etc and then they just….. don’t immediately sets the mindset that you must feel immediate connection to your baby and if you don’t then there’s something wrong.
plus, like you say, what do we do when we don’t magically change their minds? what’s the return policy here?!
having a child is a decision, an act, that can never be undone. the idea that it should be treated as a fun experiment to see how you’ll feel when it happens is ridiculous and frankly dangerous to the actual tiny human at the centre of it.
if i were him i think i would have gotten in the car, alone, and driven myself home. she didn’t offer any help while he did all the running around and then decided to tease him on the way home? nope.
also her loudly telling the baby how good she’s being and how she’s the best child isn’t exactly going to help the toddler, who can probably hear that.
oh not the “youre good with kids” lineAbsolutely. And I don't hate children. I'm just not maternal and never have been. You can't just go no ta when you've had enough (well you can but...). I'm told "oh but you're so good with kids"....yeah for 20 minutes tops then I'm exhausted
I love doing some of the xmassy things with my friends kids (i.e Santa's grotto) just for the magic side and the belief but..I also like going home after and cracking out the baileys on my own.
Glad someone said it, honestly sick of all the 'I have kids but' posts. If you have kids then but nothing, you're not childfree!Just off the alcohol support group to tell them about my nice glass of wine I’m going to have with my dinner. Seeing as no threads appear to be safe spaces.
I'm always told I'm good with kids, but people don't realise it doesn't come naturally to me and I can only be bothered sustaining that level of effort for a short time. So if I actually had one 24/7, I'd probably be atrocious with it. Also, just because I can be good with kids doesn't mean I enjoy it!oh not the “youre good with kids” line
People don’t seem to realise that being good with kids and being a good parent is not the same thing.
agreed! i actually don’t dislike kids and I can have a chat with them. My issue is that being able to chat to a kid and tolerate or even enjoy their company is not even remotely similar to being a full time 100% parent. I was listening to a podcast where they interviewed this influencer who was pregnant (age 23) and she was like “well im not nervous cause I’m the oldest sibling so I’ve always been around kids” and I was like yeah being 16 when your mom had your sibling is so not the same as raising your own.Glad someone said it, honestly sick of all the 'I have kids but' posts. If you have kids then but nothing, you're not childfree!
Also your life is meant to change when you have a child...I really do not get why people have babies thinking they're just going to go on living their normal life. It's either naivety, or they're going to be neglectful parents.
I'm always told I'm good with kids, but people don't realise it doesn't come naturally to me and I can only be bothered sustaining that level of effort for a short time. So if I actually had one 24/7, I'd probably be atrocious with it. Also, just because I can be good with kids doesn't mean I enjoy it!
Your brain is wired to release oxytocin when pregnant and have a baby. That is why you feel that way. Anyway sudies show that pet dogs can create the same hormone for people so I will stick with that. Less costly and they will never yell that they hate you!Hey guys! Love reading this thread so I thought I’d jump in. I’m 26 and have never wanted kids, I am very work orientated and I couldn’t think of anything worse than giving things up to have kids in the same way that my friends have! A few examples being ‘ can’t go on holiday I have a child’ ‘ i have to be home by 7 because of xyz bedtime’ ‘ oh I look a mess #mumlife’ you get my pointbut fast forward and I’m 6 months pregnant! I do believe that until you are pregnant and you start feeling your baby ect you don’t realise how much you want/ love that child but I will NOT give anything up! He will be a part of my life and I never want to lose myself in that. How annoying is it when people just use their kids as an excuse to be lazy and have no goals! Only problem is I don’t think I’ll have any mam friends who agree with my views
Ah yes, the old "Eleven-erife" (if you've been to Tenerife...). Very tedious!I had a "friend" who had hers early 20s...liked to try throw it in our faces about how we got to go out at weekends or on holidays, and got decent jobs etc....like we either did it on purpose or CHOSE NOT TO HAVE KIDS lol
To note the "had". Her constant pity me routine wore thin (she's one of those if you've hurt your back, she's broken hers thus she's worse off types)
Come on over! https://tattle.life/threads/single-by-choice.34175/I think there’s so much pressure on women to have kids and a fella. I am single BY CHOICE and I can’t be bothered with menthat’s another thread for me to join…
Shout out to all the single women by choiceI think there’s so much pressure on women to have kids and a fella. I am single BY CHOICE and I can’t be bothered with menthat’s another thread for me to join…
As a heterosexual woman - same! I always see stuff online and say it’s evidence sexuality is not a choice to my husband and now he’s started sending me stuff he sees saying the sameShout out to all the single women by choice
As a bisexual woman, I don't know how heterosexual women deal with men. The bar is so looooow.
My friends son is 11 and she’s constantly whining how she doesn’t get to watch tv as she has to watch what he likes doesn’t have time to exercise because she needs to play with him he’s 11 ffs !! When I was that age I had a tv in my room and spent most of my spare time with friends at their houses or in my room listening to music or gossiping honestly her son will be such a drip if she keeps this up . Funny thing is she’s got time to sit on what’s app and tell everyone in the group chat his every bloody move lost count of the number of times I have said aw or a laughing emoji all the time thinking I don’t care what he’s doing !I am SO glad I've found this thread!
Most people with kids lose their personality. They're incapable of any other thought process that doesn't involve their kids. Everything that isn't about their kids, they will find a way to make it about their kids. No one else gives a shit!
'Aw haha' is my go-to as I never know what to say in response to my friends texts/photos about their toddlersMy friends son is 11 and she’s constantly whining how she doesn’t get to watch tv as she has to watch what he likes doesn’t have time to exercise because she needs to play with him he’s 11 ffs !! When I was that age I had a tv in my room and spent most of my spare time with friends at their houses or in my room listening to music or gossiping honestly her son will be such a drip if she keeps this up . Funny thing is she’s got time to sit on what’s app and tell everyone in the group chat his every bloody move lost count of the number of times I have said aw or a laughing emoji all the time thinking I don’t care what he’s doing !
I agree I don’t get the hype! Seems to be a photo op more than anything else and something that’s come over from America. Personally I cannot imagine anything more boring!'Aw haha' is my go-to as I never know what to say in response to my friends texts/photos about their toddlers. The one I got this weekend was a photo of him dressed as a pumpkin at a pumpkin patch .
Also speaking of, it seems like everyone in the uk with kids or babies goes to pumpkin patches in the last couple of years (for instagram photos)?! Maybe people have always done it and I'm only just noticing because everyone around me has kids now.
I don’t get pumpkin patches because you’re not even picking a pumpkin, the pumpkins are pre-picked and loose on the floor, so you just walk around a muddy field looking for the ‘best’ pumpkin? And pay loads for it when you could get one for about £1 in a clean supermarket… and loads of the photos and videos I see are kids crying and having tantrums or being ‘naughty’ so I double don’t get it then! At least if the kids enjoyed it l, that’s be something but funnily enough most kids don’t like walking around cold muddy fields and posing for photos next to pumpkins!I agree I don’t get the hype! Seems to be a photo op more than anything else and something that’s come over from America. Personally I cannot imagine anything more boring!
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