Childfree by choice #5

[Mycatoliver]

I know I’m going to hell but I don’t agree with parent and child car parking spaces so I park in them myself (without a kid in tow of course unless you class my dog).

I always park in them at my park and ride I use most days to get into work
There are hundreds of empty spaces because guess what if you have a small sprog you’re probably not needing a car parking space for work.

I am not sure exactly how to word this so I'm sorry if this sounds a little messy.
My husband and I definitely do have more money than people we know that have children. I find that recently I am starting to live more in a bubble and by that I mean, I am not reading the news, discontent thread or local neighborhood pages as much as they are depressing as fuck. Often times it is people with kids saying how they can afford xyz and some serious things like their electricity has been cut off. I don't want to sound like I have no empathy because I do but these kind of comments are becoming a lot more frequent and it's...sad. We volunteer our time with charities or donate stuff but in regards to social media I've had to unfollow a lot of pages as seeing so much of those kinds of stories daily isn't healthy.
With all the financial woes going on I feel more firm than ever in my childfree stance.

This is perfectly normal
When people whine about the lack of money and expenses but have kids and carry on having kids I have zero sympathy or empathy
I’ve said it before on this thread but I’ve been made to feel greedy or self indulgent by colleagues and friends because I spend my money on holidays
But what these people fail to see is that you chose to have kids and with that it means you won’t have any nice relaxing holidays whenever you fancy, that you will have to fork out for nursery costs and you disposable income will go on your kids

I can raise the bar on fucking ridiculous entitled people with babies. Out Christmas party last week….sit down meal, lots of booze, loud music, dancing etc and some non beings their three month old baby!
fucking horrendous for anyone stuck at that table
I don’t know much but I’m sure the music would have been too loud
You have kids you accept you can’t go to the Christmas party

 

[Lola Ruby]

The comments made me chuckle. Dale can F off

The only one who's going to be lonely is Dale, with only his fleshlight for company. Where do men like him get the AUDACITY?!

 

[HoGi]

I read the most horrifying/disgusting post online the other day. A woman was asking for advice because she has some kind of prolapse. When she's going to the bathroom it feels like her insides (some kind of organ) is going to fall out. She can physically feel it. I felt sick reading it! But a couple of women commented that it's more common that you think for women to have prolapse after having children . Fuck that. Why are women's pelvic floors not being prioritized during pregnancy? There is not enough focus on it.

I couldn't share my disgust there so am doing so here. ‍

If men had to give birth it would be risk free, pain free and any side effects fixed immediately free of charge. Either that or the human race would die out.

Female health care is lowest priority.

 

[JoeBloggs]

I know I’m going to hell but I don’t agree with parent and child car parking spaces so I park in them myself (without a kid in tow of course unless you class my dog).

I do agree with them, I’d prefer them to stay away from my car and not let a kid dink my door.

To be fair to them, you have no hope of getting a car seat out of a normal bay so why begrudge them? I don’t agree they should be priory at the front and they should be for babies and toddlers, not parents with 8 year olds. I’d never dream of parking in one.

 

[mcfeez]

I keep seeing about that child on the Ryanair flight that didn’t get the window seat he was meant to… since when does stuff like this need to be in the news? And people are calling the woman who wouldn’t move selfish? Why should she have to move for a child, what happened to respect your elders do people not teach kids to be disappointed anymore?

People rightfully pointed out that perhaps the woman had specific reasons for booking the window seat too but somehow none of those mattered in the face of a child wanting it.

We are on holiday atm in a beautiful adults only resort and it is equal parts blissful and great fun. Adults of all ages (literally from 20s to people in their 60s) all having great time in the pool where there are zero kids games and again the evening with no kids club shows.

 

[Couldlifeeverbesaneagain]

I genuinely (and I don't use this word loosely) understand how people can afford them. The husband and I have what you'd call professional jobs yet we absolutely would not have enough money to clothe and feed a baby right now. Yet there's people I know who are the same age with jobs like working in a shop who have three kids. We don't live beyond our means or live like the Beckhams so I don't get it! Saying that, one of my colleagues has had a baby recently and she was saying how much she is struggling with mat pay.

 

[penny1992]

I am not sure exactly how to word this so I'm sorry if this sounds a little messy.
My husband and I definitely do have more money than people we know that have children. I find that recently I am starting to live more in a bubble and by that I mean, I am not reading the news, discontent thread or local neighborhood pages as much as they are depressing as fuck. Often times it is people with kids saying how they can afford xyz and some serious things like their electricity has been cut off. I don't want to sound like I have no empathy because I do but these kind of comments are becoming a lot more frequent and it's...sad. We volunteer our time with charities or donate stuff but in regards to social media I've had to unfollow a lot of pages as seeing so much of those kinds of stories daily isn't healthy.
With all the financial woes going on I feel more firm than ever in my childfree stance.

 

[5678]

I've never questioned my decision not to have kids (43 now) but in the incredibly unlikely event that I ever did, that video would certainly remind me why I made that decision in the first place!
My idea of an absolute nightmare.

Same! You get one life why would you want to spend it in that self made hell?

 

[Millais]

I saw a post on LinkedIn that really bugged me. It was this woman saying something along the lines of "I don't care how much you love your pet, your hamster isn't going to grow up and become a contributing member of society. We need better maternity leave etc etc"

It really annoyed me because what does one thing have to do with the other? Yes, lack of maternity leave is a problem. But why do you want to shit all over people who are childfree and love their pets, to make your point? It falls into the same bucket of "You never know really love until you become a mother " and it does my head in.

What if your kid is severely disabled and unable to ‘contribute’ ie sit at a desk in an office park on the outskirts of a mid-sized town in order to pay the crippling mortgage on the wonky new build and buy LOL Dolls for Hyphen-May? Do those parents not deserve maternity leave?

 

[mediocrehouseplant]

For me it’s when i see stories of kids doing stupid shit.
Imagine sitting in a&e cause your kid decided to stick something up his nose for the second time. No

I read a post on Mumsnet where the poster said her toddler son smelt 'odd', sort of musty and something off... He wasn't old enough to talk properly (so questioning him would have got her nowhere) and it'd been a few days, she couldn't figure it out. A lot of posters told her to check his nose. Sure enough, there was a week-old pea wedged up there that needed removing in A&E!

 

[newtoyou]

So is the choice between clubbing or having kids? I pick neither the life to me is having multiple holidays a year and being able to sip cocktails in the sun in peace oh and being able to come home from work and turn into a couch potato without being harassed

People think this is “the life“ 👨‍

Actually is “the life”

(I fixed it Jk people can have whatever life they want funnily enough)

 

[Falkor]

'Amelia, darling' is on the opposite side of the pool to us today. They also have a small boy with them who, if I had to guess, is about a year old - not walking yet. She's just changed his obviously shitty nappy on the sun lounger, to the absolute horror of the man on the sun lounger two metres to her left, who was partway through his lunch and now seems to have lost his appetite...

Adults only place next year I think, much as we adore this hotel!

 

[Aemee00]

If I see another effing pumpkin patch on Facebook or Instagram....

 

[Princesst]

On the the whole deadbeat/cheating/fed up dad thing even though I’m not overly keen on my friends husband I could see why he was miserable after having a baby who is now like 3 despite him being more in favour and “pushing for it” As I can’t WAIT to get out their house to the point so hardly even visit anymore. He’s there every day with it. One snapshot of being there: the dad gets home from work at 6.30. Kids asleep. He isn’t allowed to shower as their old water tank makes loads of noise CANT WAKE THE TODDLER. Don’t go in his room HES ASLEEP!! He’s obviously not seen his son all day and leaves before he wakes up in the morning. Then my friend isn’t sure what’s left to eat as toddler wants such and such tomorrow and that’s all they had for tonight, can’t eat that, super ratty about it to the husband. My friend is in a terrible mood after being around the child all day as he’s clingy. Dad says well he can’t even go in the garden with the kid as he’s so attached to the mum he won’t leave her in the kitchen. so he’d be happy to play with him but can’t anyway he’s asleep. All 3 of us talking in whispers and tiptoeing round the house like imbeciles. The husband went to the toilet and sneezed outside the kids room. Kid wakes up . My friend went crazy about it. Shooed him off, went in and slammed the kids door. I finally made my excuses and got OUTTA THERE! It was like a secret club between mum & toddler & the dad wasn’t allowed a part of rather than an equal 2 way parent situation. That was the same guy who said to me the child had ruined their life and from that little snap shot i agreed!

 

[Pebbleybeach]

On the kids being someones entire personality train
I'm on a course right now and we all had to show something meaningful to us, all lighthearted. Literally everyone shown pics of their kids. I shown my ft tuesdays cup from vegas and said it combined three of my fave things - sun, day drinking and gambling!

Can't cope with parents who's entire personality is their kid.

Like when you have to tell everyone an interesting thing about yourself and everyone just says the amount of kids they have!

 

[witchofwestbyfleet]

Because there is currently a huge amount of money and research being invested into things like Alzheimer's and age-related disease, I think in the not too distant future we will live longer and healthier lives. Still no desire for a biological child though

Although similarly, without getting into murky subjects about who should be "allowed" to have children, I think there are a lot of attitudes that having a baby is right for everyone including people that have serious mental illnesses or other conditions the child will have to deal with down the line. I used to work with someone who had bipolar disorder and at the time I left the company was pregnant, she seemed to genuinely believe having the baby would somehow cure - or at least improve - her symptoms because "pregnancy re-wires your brain so you can take care of the baby!" Similarly I once saw someone ranting on another site about a friend who was anorexic and had been prescribed high-calorie supplements during her pregnancy, but was refusing to take them and throwing them away. Well as sad as that is, being pregnant will not magically change her, just telling her to "do it for the baby" won't help

 

[Anne1448]

I remember once one Easter I had to work 12 days of the 14 over the Easter holidays cause those with kids wanted it off. 1 day off a week (and one of those days was the closed easter sunday!). The worst bit was that I was in college doing A-levels at the time which meant I had no time to study or relax. When I told my boss she said they needed cover cause it was Easter and the mother's wanted the time off with their kids.

Another time, I had worked christmas (Eve and Boxing day as closed Xmas day) so imo it was only fair that I had new year off. Nope. The people with kids got that off as well. So i did Xmas eve, boxing day and the new year's eve and new year's day Why should I not get to have fun over the holiday season cause I don't have kids?!

You're so kind. I would have called sick in a heartbeat.

My manager tried to pull a similar thing on me. A colleague needed to take Easter off to celebrate it with her newborn kid. So, my time off got cancelled. I couldn't care less and flew to Spain for a whole week and did 0 work. When she told me that it wasn't right, I took all my personal days at once

She never tried to cancel my days off ever again.

 

[judgejohndeed]

I would hate to potentially pass those things onto a child. When my mum was pregnant with me, she was told there was a chance I may have down syndrome. I do not. But that is something else I wouldn't be able to deal with. I wouldn't want a child with a disability/or an adult child that would be forever dependent. Is that selfish?

I can't tell you what a relief it is to see someone else say this.I've always thought this, and on the very few occasions I've voiced it to anyone else, they've stared at me like I've grown a second head. I really, really do not want to be someone's carer for the rest of my life, I don't want to deal with the stress and worry of having a disabled child no matter how rewarding those who do it claim it is, and down's especially knowing most of the time a lot of care is needed and they're going to outlive you...I just wouldn't even want to risk it

 

[penny1992]

I read the most horrifying/disgusting post online the other day. A woman was asking for advice because she has some kind of prolapse. When she's going to the bathroom it feels like her insides (some kind of organ) is going to fall out. She can physically feel it. I felt sick reading it! But a couple of women commented that it's more common that you think for women to have prolapse after having children . Fuck that. Why are women's pelvic floors not being prioritized during pregnancy? There is not enough focus on it.

I couldn't share my disgust there so am doing so here. ‍

 

[Blond3g1rl]

Not to be a weirdo but I was curious that someone child free would say this. So I had a look at your other posts and it seems you have a child.

Which makes it quite odd that you’d come to a child free thread to tell us that we need to get some interests (but they can’t include watching TV) to have a successful child free life…

Eurgh another child haver lurker and poster