Childfree by choice #5

[Rippedjeanmaybe]

I was always told the world doesn’t revolve around me when I was a child and I had to fit in around others and not the other way around. As such I now can’t stand to see kids constantly being pandered… it feels like the whole world is now child orientated and these kids are growing up with little emperor syndrome.

I work with a couple of 20/21 year olds and they are the most entitled and selfish beings I’ve met and they’ve no interest in anything other than makeup, eye fucking themsleves on selfies and celebs/influencers.

 

[FilthyGorgeous]

I’m 32, single and very happily child free. It genuinely seems to bother some people! The amount of times I’ve been questioned is unreal.

 

[Rippedjeanmaybe]

You have to consider your child when you make decisions, therefore they change your life.

even having a cat has slightly changed my life as I have to take into consideration his care when I go on holiday. Luckily I have family who will stay over and see to him, but I still have to think about the logistics of it all before I just book somewhere.

 

[rosemarina]

@Princesst, I feel exactly the same way. You're with somebody you love; you have a great time together. Why ruin it?

 

[ElectricDreams]

That is interesting though because if anyone should be offended it’s the child free. Society agrees with parenting more than it agrees with women being child free.

It offends me that I have to justify why I don't want kids, no one would ever ask anyone to justify why you would want them. My reasons are personal and I don't want to share them with people I barely know.

 

[Vroomvroom]

Ahh it’s been such a relief to turn 40 and to stop having people asking me and my husband if we are having kids!

We’ve definitely noticed our social circle as shrunk as so many of our friends have kids now and most of the socialising involves their kids. It’s getting quite hard to make enough excuses to avoid the child friendly events but we didn’t have kids for a reason, so don’t want to spend our free time with other peoples! Luckily we are very close and are happy to do stuff just the two of us.

 

[Mycatoliver]

God, and people tell me I must be minted because I have a couple of horses! (Average cost over a year about £200 a month!)

This is my absolute bug bear
The open attitude that you’re loaded because you don’t have kids and I think yep I probably am compared to you
We go on loads of holidays each year and the amount of times I’ve been scrutinised or reminded by colleagues or friends that this is such a luxury and almost like we’re being too self indulgent

 

[Gem_woody]

As a child free by choice I will be going out of my way to spend any money I have (excepting funeral costs etc)

Same! I want to enjoy my money and not slave away all my life to pay off my mortgage so my boyfriends nieces can inherit it all . Maybe I'll release equity from the house when I'm a pensioner and go on a load of cruises

 

[Anne1448]

Having a baby seems like such a make or break situation for so many couples. So many couples seem to feel like their relationship is strong and good and then when they add a baby in it seems to go one way or the other a lot of the time.

I see so many women getting cheated on when pregnant and then being left shortly after the birth. Or just women being left only a few months/years into the baby being born.

Or women staying in relationships even though their partners NEVER help with the children.

I looked at the mommy thread on Tattle the other day and I really wanted to hug some of these women. The body shaming, gaslighting, lack of love and disrespect that some of them go through with their partners is infuriating.

 

[GirlOnTheTrain]

oh not when people send you videos of their kids! My friend sent me a video the other day of her kid horse riding. It was just her being walked around on a horse. I do not care?



Also ^ Christmas now is wild. Elf on the shelf, christmas eve boxes. When I was a kid we had pjs (not wrapped!), 1 big present and some little presents.

I had a friend who's nephew (ETA: who is a perfectly healthy, developed, hit milestones at the correct time child) had to be told that santa wasn't real when he started secondary school. He was 11. His mum didn't want him to be bullied (which is fair enough). He was genuinely shocked. They all thought it was cute, ngl and I am sorry for this but I thought it was a bit pathetic

Oh don’t get me started on Christmas Eve Boxes…absolutely ridiculous! So Christmas Day isn’t enough anymore?!

 

[Rippedjeanmaybe]

I tell you what, if I had kids there’s no way I’d be doing elf on the bastard shelf. I couldn’t be arsed with that!

Im surprised how many people it do for such older kids as well and Santa. I stopped believing when I was 6 because I worked it out, which is quite young, but I’d rather that than be in high school and thinking Santa is real

 

[Erling Haaland]

I told my mother once that I don't exist to give her grandchildren and she genuinely replied with 'well why do you exist then?' Even my step dad went ape shit about it. I have my suspicions about why she said but it's entirely her problem anyway

Hahaha you exist because SHE chose to have you stupid woman

If people genuinely think you have nothing else to spend money on if you don’t have kids - I truly feel sorry for them.

What would be the point in going to uni, earning a high salary to have to either give up your career or spend all that money on childcare?
And on the flip side… does she think if people don’t want kids they should just go and work in a low paid job because they have no one to support the mind boggles

 

[mcfeez]

My hairdresser was in slow labour for 7 days, slowly dilating and eventually when her waters broke they allowed her to come into hospital.
She then suffered a placental abruption, had a haemorrhage and had to be rushed down for a cat 1 section where she was put to sleep. She suffered massive blood loss and her and the baby almost died, but luckily didn’t.

People don’t realise how quickly childbirth can go wrong. I think it’s like a lot of things with children, people are blissfully unaware. I used to work in a nursery and I’ve seen first hand how awful it can be being a parent, no thanks.

Not trying to incite debates on abortion or anything but saw an anti abortion protester state that, in a case where like a child (so a teen girl) has been sexually assaulted and left pregnant, she should continue with the pregnancy as the termination would leave her with more trauma. I couldn't believe it. I feel like some people don't realise what can and does go wrong in pregnancy and childbirth and how traumatic it can be.

Again, not saying an abortion can't be traumatic but to try and state that pregnancy and childbirth as the better alternative as though it is devoid of trauma is just naive.

 

[JE172]

But did they even go to a pumpkin patch if they didn’t post it on social media?!
People only do anything these days so they can post it!!

 

[Rippedjeanmaybe]

I’d love someone to shout at me for how I cross a road, they’d regret it believe me.

 

[Millais]

I don't know if someone mentioned it already but why is it so hard to find a club as an adult?

There seems to be sports club only where I live. Most of the interesting activities (chess, astronomy, art & craft) are all for children/teens or knitting clubs for retired people.

What about the inbetweeners?

Because we’re supposed to be at home, wiping bums (our husband’s or our children’s, it’s the same difference) and taking the older kiddiewinks to their fun activities.

 

[shadowcat5]

Oh don’t get me started on Christmas Eve Boxes…absolutely ridiculous! So Christmas Day isn’t enough anymore?!

the other one that gets me is buying 25 books and wrapping them for your kid to open every evening before christmas. Who genuinely has the the time for that?

Another holiday I've noticed things are getting wild is Easter. What is with people getting their kids actual presents and easter baskets full of presents now? I got a chocolate egg and that's all. I was lucky to get 2 cause I had divorced parents meaning I could ask for 2 'fancy' ones. Had a couple more eggs from family and family friends (you know the aunties who aren't aunties but just your ma's best mate). Maybe a chocolate rabbit.
No presents and I certainly didn't get an easter egg hunt. Easter was a normal day with the added excitement of finally being able to eat the chocolate eggs that had been sitting on the kitchen counter for weeks

 

[Gem_woody]

I was watching the news last night and it was about long term care for the elderly. Thankfully it was a positive story. But it was so depressing, these people couldn't even feed themselves or talk.
We have assisted medical death in Canada (even for mental health issues which is a touchy subject) and I would rather do that before I ended up unable to do anything... I wonder will more people start putting it in their will.

Omg I wish we had that here in the UK. It would be nice to feel in control of my own life/death. I really don't want to be old and people think im mad for saying that.

 

[Rippedjeanmaybe]

I’d definitely support that one!

if I’m visiting a restaurant in the day, especially a the weekend and there’s kids being a bit noisy, then fair enough. But I’m sick to death of going out for food at like 8pm onwards and there being kids there. Why? It’s way past their bedtime surely!

 

[penny1992]

I know this will sound really materialistic but one of my fav things about being childfree is that my husband and I don't have to worry (as much) about money. No kid's shit to buy .

Yesterday we were out and decided to look at SUVs, we looked at Audi's and we are thinking next year that is what I will get...so far on the list is Jaguar Fpace, Jeep Grand Cherokee new model (we have one from a few years back), Range Rover Velar or Audi q5 sportback (prob my fav). I am so excited!