Childfree by choice #5

[mdizzl3]

I think (like adults) some babies are cute but some are proper ugly and scary. Especially the cone-head ones that just stare at you in supermarkets.

This is the thing, how do you know YOUR kid will have a nice personality that gels with yours? I’ve met some kids that are polite and adorable and I probably wouldn’t mind having, whereas my little brother was always a rude and attention-seeking brat and we only started getting on once he turned 18 (and even then I wouldn’t say we’re friends). You just don’t know. What if that magical love never comes and you’re just left doing 18 years of drudgery?

 

[Anne1448]

have kids is ‘offended’ that I don’t want them cope or die mad about it

This is my mindset too.

You're mad about my trips, expensive clothes and nice meals at the restaurants?

Well, stay mad because I'm on my way to another holiday in the sun

 

[DCICassieStuart]

I wish there was child free hours in supermarkets, even when I go at night there’s some in there screaming

I would pay good money for child free flights.

 

[Norfolking Good]

We went to the theatre last weekend and this poor little lad who must have been 5 max threw up all over the floor and himself, but the parents had both naffed off to get drinks leaving him quite distressed. In the end a lady went over and calmed him down but it took ages for the parents to eventually roll in. We then had 2.5hrs of hot sick smell as they decided that he didn’t need to be taken home but a sick bag would be fine.
I don’t know why you would take a 5yo to an evening performance of an adult play but it wasn’t much fun for anyone sat around him. Utterly baffling and such crappy parenting

 

[Rippedjeanmaybe]

Tbh the thought of a life of motherhood horrifies me more than labour

Labour is just a contributing factor to me not wanting children. The main reason is that I do not like children.

 

[Princesst]

just going back to entertaining a baby/child. Not long after my sister had her baby, I went to hers and we were both eating and she was rocking the baby in the bouncer at the same time as trying to eat. I offered to do it for a bit so she could eat her meal properly. Safe to say, I got bored of doing that quite quickly. I couldn’t imagine not being able to eat a meal in peace.

I do wonder what would happen if they just didn’t do it though? Whenever I visit my friend and her youngish child it’s always “oh we have to talk in whispers because he’s napping” or “we can’t eat that in front of him as he will want it” “I can’t put him down he gets upset” “I haven’t eaten all day as I can’t get out from under him while he rests” . Would the kids not just get used to things a different way and not the exact way they want things to be? I don’t get it. There’s no way I’d not eat all day because I’m “trapped” under a baby. Baby would be going in a crib for at least 30 mins while I fed myself and I’m sure it would survive. Hence why I don’t see my friends much anymore as we have to sit in silence, whisper, not eat things in case it upsets a toddler etc. I’d rather just not be dictated what I can and can’t do by small humans thanks!

 

[drewydrop]

Currently on holiday in Ibiza by myself. In a lovely quiet part of the island, having dinner in a nice chilled restaurant in front of the beach. Just finished my meal, reading my book with a glass of wine, in walks 2 Spanish families so I now have a toddler listening to nursery rhymes in my ear and a teenager and little girl doing clapping games whilst singing Bill please!

 

[Rippedjeanmaybe]

Seen on a few threads recently that you can’t go to Disney, wear Mickey ears or meet Disney characters if you don’t have kids sorry didn’t realise you had to be a miserable boring fucker to be child free

 

[Pebbleybeach]

not even with the promise of boarding school?

kidding obviously

I honestly wouldn’t have kids for a billion pounds which really is saying something because I once conceded that I would sleep with boris Johnson for a million pounds

 

[shadowcat5]

Hahaha you exist because SHE chose to have you stupid woman

If people genuinely think you have nothing else to spend money on if you don’t have kids - I truly feel sorry for them.

What would be the point in going to uni, earning a high salary to have to either give up your career or spend all that money on childcare?
And on the flip side… does she think if people don’t want kids they should just go and work in a low paid job because they have no one to support the mind boggles

She chose to have me to stop my dad from drinking (ETA: didn't work... shocker i know) so safe to say, she's not the wisest of women

 

[LaBlonde]

This popped up on my Twitter feet (annoyingly, even though I don’t follow this person). But Jesus Christ, the entitlement! Maybe, I don’t know… prepare in advance!!? Rather than moaning that you have a baby with you

How stupid do you need to be to not realise that the £1 is a deposit so that you’ll return the trolley properly!! 🫠

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the fact that this woman compared putting a pound coin into a supermarket trolley to being on the crystal maze genuinely makes me wonder how she copes in daily life

like others have said, just ask for help but then i suppose you can’t make yourself a martyr for motherhood then.

 

[HoGi]

One of the questions on yougov today

 

[rosemarina]

Or worse, they think they’re a cool mom, you know? Not like those others.

 

[penny1992]

Does anyone else also get repulsed by labour and that’s a contributing factor to not wanting kids?

the whole idea of how undignified it is really is off putting. The thought of a sweep makes my toes curl, the thought of shitting yourself in labour and having your legs up in stirrups so everyone can stare at your bits!

and then afterwards, not being able to go to the toilet without it stinging or if you tear front to back! Ouch!

people think it’s wonderful, I just think it’s grim!

Yes. I remember in primary school during sex ed we were shown a video of a woman giving birth. I had to leave the room . That's when I first thought "fuck that" and realised I didn't want kids.
What an absolute horror.

I do not think the dangers of labour are spoken about to be honest, or pregnancy in general. Women give birth and are then left pissing themselves. The lack of focus on pelvic floor health is shocking.

I had a catheter for surgery once and peeing after that was torture. I can't imagine what that or doing a poop would be like after having a baby.

 

[Rippedjeanmaybe]

I keep seeing about that child on the Ryanair flight that didn’t get the window seat he was meant to… since when does stuff like this need to be in the news? And people are calling the woman who wouldn’t move selfish? Why should she have to move for a child, what happened to respect your elders do people not teach kids to be disappointed anymore?

 

[Pebbleybeach]

I’ve had to ask random people for help because I’m 5”1 and can’t reach the top shelves. Maybe I should go on Twitter and bitch about the supermarket instead….

My husband is tall and nearly every shop we go into someone asks him to reach stuff. He’s also quite ‘sturdy’ so in icy weather older people have asked him to help them across a road or up a steep/bank area. He always helps. I’ve never said no to helping people - just two days ago I helped a disabled man who was having an issue in Asda. People never say no to helping me either. Actually once I was crying on a bus and a woman gave me a packet of tissues, I used some and put them in my bag and then the next week a man got on the bus and then got a nose bleed and I could give him some tissues! Cycles of niceness! People like to do small things to help, it makes them happy.

 

[Gem_woody]

This weekend, 2 of my closest friends who had babies in 2021 have been separately talking to me about problems with their husbands. I dont mind being a listening ear but it's like I'm their marriage therapist or something . Both husbands are not doing enough parenting and think the mum should do the housework as well as all childcare. One of the husbands has also been texting another woman..
This just confirms to me that relationships go down the drain when you have a baby and I would never want that for myself! It's really sad.

These two friends dont know eachother but i felt quite unfortunate that both got pregnant at around the same time. I've only seen these friends a handful of times since they had babies and I find conversation flow really sucks now. I'll be talking about something and suddenly realise I'm not being listened to because mum has to give the baby some attention for whatever reason.. feels like there's no point even talking about my life!

 

[CatCafe234]

I can't tell you what a relief it is to see someone else say this.I've always thought this, and on the very few occasions I've voiced it to anyone else, they've stared at me like I've grown a second head. I really, really do not want to be someone's carer for the rest of my life, I don't want to deal with the stress and worry of having a disabled child no matter how rewarding those who do it claim it is, and down's especially knowing most of the time a lot of care is needed and they're going to outlive you...I just wouldn't even want to risk it

This has always been something that worries me too. You sometimes see elderly parents with an adult disabled child and it’s just heartbreaking. I can’t imagine being an older parent and not having had the kind of milestones you expect with a child - them growing up, gaining independence, building a life of their own. That and wondering what will happen to your child once you’re gone. The reality is nobody will love your child like you do and it must be devastating to think of your older child loosing their parents and then having to move into care and be looked after by strangers. Then you sometimes see really heartbreaking situations where other children have had to become carers too and it‘s all just so sad.

 

[HoGi]

They kid themselves that it will be different for them.

100% this.

They always think they will be different to every other mum they have ever known.

The baby will slot into their lives with no impact. They will have time for themselves, including time for exercise etc. They will still have nice holidays.

Until they are a few weeks in and realise they are just like every other parent

 

[HoGi]

Spoiler

Just saw a big Twitter thread that started as someone saying they believed more women would choose to be childfree in future after hearing about horrific birth experiences on TikTok. It turned into many many more people sharing horror stories but a lot of them said "I would never tell a pregnant woman any of this." Why wouldn't you? She needs to know what she's in for even if she has chosen to keep the baby

My friend has just had a baby, like 12 hours ago. She has no "damage" down there thankfully. The woman in the bed next to her has, as we call it, been left with a bumgina...

Aparently the nursers were talking to her about pelvic floor exercises...i think it is a little too late for that!!! she isnt going to exercise her vagina back together!!!!