Childfree by Choice #2

[it’s not been changed?!]

The passive aggressive comment about hating kids and having a degree in psychology. My mind is blown by that!

At no point did I ever say I hated kids, either ! He’s put 2 and 2 together and got 5 because I said I didn’t want to date anyone with a child. It’s a 2 year old, too!
I think he’ll find he might get the same reaction from other females he matches with unless he’s upfront straight away.

 

[SqualorVictoria]

That's the infuriating thing. It's perfectly normal to not want to date someone with kids and it works both ways too- I remember seeing it on guys profiles when I was on dating apps.

What the duck?

Surely a parent would not be seeking a relationship with someone who was childfree by choice and had no interest in children.

No strings I guess it doesnt matter but I cannot imagine wanting a future with someone who didnt want kids in their life if I already had one. Surely they come first

Coming from someone with kids. Red flag central!! Whats wrong with just saying oh ok take care.

Yes, or I totally understand. All the best

What. A. Dick

 

[Wowitsme]

At no point did I ever say I hated kids, either ! He’s put 2 and 2 together and got 5 because I said I didn’t want to date anyone with a child. It’s a 2 year old, too!
I think he’ll find he might get the same reaction from other females he matches with unless he’s upfront straight away.

personally I don’t blame you, why should you date someone with kids if you don’t want to. His attitude was bizarre as a parent he should know not everyone is going to want that responsibility especially if they don’t have kids themselves. Also I make you right as the owner of an 11 year old I wouldn’t date anyone with young kids it’s all personal choice about who you choose to date and who choose not to date.

 

[SqualorVictoria]

Anyway, I'm glad to see these kind of men getting pushback. Those kind of men who are like "I just want something casual" have had the run of dating apps and they think they're amazing

personally I don’t blame you, why should you date someone with kids if you don’t want to. His attitude was bizarre as a parent he should know not everyone is going to want that responsibility especially if they don’t have kids themselves. Also I make you right as the owner of an 11 year old I wouldn’t date anyone with young kids it’s all personal choice about who you choose to date and who choose not to date.

Exactly this. I bet he wouldn't feel he has to justify who he wants to date or not!

 

[Caffeine Fiend]

Also I feel like in a patriarchal society its perfectly fine for men to say 'I dont want to date a single mum'

But for a woman to say anything similar we're portrayed as the weirdos / bad attitude.

 

[Eureka]

Wow. What a creep

Oh god that’s actually hilarious what a bleeping child. I feel sorry for the next woman he ends up with. No wonder he’s single

 

[SqualorVictoria]

Also I feel like in a patriarchal society its perfectly fine for men to say 'I dont want to date a single mum'

But for a woman to say anything similar we're portrayed as the weirdos / bad attitude.

Spot on! Sad but true.

 

[aimz_yeah]

On the dating thread on here I got a bit of slack for telling a guy to f off. Within his two opening messages he "joked" about the easy life of a gp(we were both medical) and he just gets his secretary to make his cups of tea. Then when I said I worked with children he said "great, you can look after our kids".
I didn't say much at first but then when he pushed I told him to F off. He got hurt and said it was just two jokes in bad taste but I thought it just showed what he was liked. And to degrade my hard earned career to being his childcare was insulting.

 

[Anne1448]

Also I feel like in a patriarchal society its perfectly fine for men to say 'I dont want to date a single mum'

But for a woman to say anything similar we're portrayed as the weirdos / bad attitude.

Yes, it's so weird that the word single mom is considered as an insult. When actually the mothers should be praised for not walking out and abandoning their children.

 

[Notorious PIG]

Does anyone have any good comebacks when they are asked when they are having kids /why they have no kids /why they are not planning to have kids?

Not really. My “comeback” is a very honest one:

“What’s in it for me?”

It’s not necessarily a rhetorical question. They are more than welcome to try and argue that it will bring me more benefits than costs.

 

[Zenchick101]

So glad I found this thread, I'm leaning towards being childfree more and more. I used to be sure I wanted them but now it's feeling more like I would say that because of societal expectations. Now funny thing is that I'm more averse to marriage and I either get weird looks from men or "awww dw you'll find your person someday" from women even a variation of this from my mum. nah.. I'm good. Hook up culture, coercive pos, a generation who grew up on violent porn, red pill movements,pick up artists and casual whatevers in their 40s and 50s? yeah no I'm good. Apart from my one lovely partner right now I'm tapping out.

 

[mcfeez]

'I don't care if you have children - whoever asks first gets Christmas off' - Mirror Online

Saw this via FB. The nature of my current job means stuff like this isn't really an issue but when I've worked in hospitality/retail as a student I did find this to be a thing and have heard others complain about parents expecting more time off over certain time periods.

 

[SqualorVictoria]

I don't think it should be first come first served- if everyone wants it off, it should be a raffle

 

[mcfeez]

I don't think it should be first come first served- if everyone wants it off, it should be a raffle

Probably the fairest solution! And give a nice split of the days if there always has to be someone working i.e. if you get Christmas Day, you don't get Boxing Day as well.

 

[Saddlesoap]

I deal with holidays at my work place.

I always look back who has had time off in the years previously and accept the holidays of those people who haven't been off first. I then go back and offer spare days to others if they are available.

I pay no attention to their family arrangements.

Personally I couldn't give a tit if I'm working or not. I chose my job and its 24/7. It winds me up when people (not just parents) moan about working around Christmas - you should have picked a different career.

 

[Eureka]

I do the Christmas roster. It’s a social care setting so we are open every day of the year. It’s done on a rotating basis so if you do it one year you are guaranteed to be off the next. We also give generous time off in lieu for Xmas day so if you work it you tend to get at least a full week off after it.

 

[SqualorVictoria]

That's a fair way of doing things. What a sense of entitlement for those who have kids to assume that no one elses time off is as important as theirs!

 

[Eureka]

That's a fair way of doing things. What a sense of entitlement for those who have kids to assume that no one elses time off is as important as theirs!

It’s not just people with kids to be fair. I’d get people wanting to travel to their home country every Christmas or want to stay with family around the country. I’ve had people cite their pets as a reason. Let’s face it no one wants to work Christmas really, that’s not just limited to parents.

 

[HoGi]

It’s not just people with kids to be fair. I’d get people wanting to travel to their home country every Christmas or want to stay with family around the country. I’ve had people cite their pets as a reason. Let’s face it no one wants to work Christmas really, that’s not just limited to parents.

No but most parents act like being a parent is the single most important reason for wanting time off over Christmas or during summer, as if the child free have no lives

 

[SqualorVictoria]

It’s not just people with kids to be fair. I’d get people wanting to travel to their home country every Christmas or want to stay with family around the country. I’ve had people cite their pets as a reason. Let’s face it no one wants to work Christmas really, that’s not just limited to parents.

I never said that no one should want Christmas off. It's in the context of the topic of parents thinking that they should be prioritised over those who aren't parents. That's what is entitled