Childfree by Choice #2

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A friend sent me this, thought you all would appreciate it
You almost have to pity people who are so boring that they can't think of a single way to spend time for 40 years if not to run around after kids etc...like sorry your life is so tedious and you're so unimaginative Stefan, but that's a You problem :rolleyes:
 
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People ask but who will take care of you when you’re old?! Me. Me and my nurse who I can afford to have because I invested the money that I would have spent on raising children.
 
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There it is. He just wants a shag. What a grim little man.

Men love to bang on about not wanting to date women with children but get nasty when women don’t want to date men with kids.

“Everyone’s got a past.” Sounds like a tit bloke who is annoyed his child is an inconvenience to getting a quick shag.
Yes! That is what I was thinking, he was annoyed by his child!!

@Anne1448 your comment is bloody marvellous. The signs were all there!! 🚩
 
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People ask but who will take care of you when you’re old?! Me. Me and my nurse who I can afford to have because I invested the money that I would have spent on raising children.
And as if having kids is a guarantee of them caring for you when you're old. They could emigrate. They could have families of their own. You could fall out with them.
 
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And as if having kids is a guarantee of them caring for you when you're old. They could emigrate. They could have families of their own. You could fall out with them.
Or by expecting you to care for them you could be depriving them of fulfilling their own lives and ambitions.
 
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Reason 281763997 not to have kids... You think they're going to love sledging and playing in the snow. Then when they're exactly at the furthest point from home they decide they've had enough and start crying uncontrollably, snot everywhere and make you feel terrible for putting them through this horrendous ordeal. And of course cry all the way back home on the sledge that you physically can't pull any quicker! Those Kodak moments of kids having fun in the snow are just a myth as far as I'm concerned!
Then when you get home they cry that they aren't out in the snow 🤣

Your friend is a tool, I'm sorry. This guy is being way too intense. He should just take the hint and move on.

Also, I'd imagine even for people that do want kids that someone with kids from a former relationship might still be a deal breaker. Even if I wanted kids it would still be a hard pass from me. Imagine having to impress the little tyke and then always having the ex in the picture. No thanks
I agree, if it was suddenly law that every woman had to be some kind of mother I would rather be a mother than a step-mother. To me being a step-mother is much worse than being a mother (once you're past the birth bit 😆)

Wow the amount of red flags from this guy :

- he lied about having a child until YOU asked him which means that he would have never brought it up on his own

- he said that the relationship with his ex is complicated but if you get into a relationship with him you'll have to deal with the ex too

- he claims that he didn't see the option to tick " I have children" but he could read yours which said that you do not have nor want children and yet he still contacted you

- he said "just don't duck it off" but what is the "it" about? Because you barely talked for less than 24 hours and don't have a relationship yet

- he came back saying that "it could have been casual" which means that he only wanted you for sex even though he is a freaking father with a child who needs stability

This man brought more red flags than a trip to North Korea. He is gaslighting you and trying to guilt trip you.

This is why I thank God everyday that I'm not straight 😌
This is what I think when people say being gay is a choice - like, have you met men? You think we are willingly attracted to them when there's another choice🤪

You almost have to pity people who are so boring that they can't think of a single way to spend time for 40 years if not to run around after kids etc...like sorry your life is so tedious and you're so unimaginative Stefan, but that's a You problem :rolleyes:
I agree! I'm worried I won't have enough time to do everything I want to not that I have too much time to fill with nothing to do!

Or by expecting you to care for them you could be depriving them of fulfilling their own lives and ambitions.
I agree, if I had a kid the last thing I would want is for them to be stuck in the area I choose to live in with obligations to care about me. What about their own dreams, wants, partner, pets, kids, career, hobbies blah blah blah.
 
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Yeah no matter how great the guy is being a stepmother is my idea of a personal hell. He would be tied to his ex forever more, the kid would likely resent you, it's just a hard pass from me

And as for the "I have kids so they'll mind me when I'm old" argument, I've seen enough advice forums to see that it's not always the devoted kids wanting to mind dear mother, its sometimes likely to be them arguing over who has to mind them or putting them in the cheapest possible care so it doesn't mess with their inheritance
 
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This is quite an interesting thread. I just happened to stumble across it but ever since I can remember I haven't wanted children. A lot of my mostly male friends find it quite odd and I often got the 'you'll change your mind when your older'. I'm now 29, make it very well known that I know I'm selfish and very set in my ways. Having a child would mean giving up hell of a lot of my hobbies which I am not prepared to do. We couldn't afford children without sacrifices neither of us particularly want to make. Fortunately my boyfriend of 10 years feel the same plus he doesn't have the patience for kids ha.
Do most of you with no desire to have children have pets? My two cats and pup are my absolute world. Not so much for my boyfriend because he doesn't have the patience to train a dog!
 
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This is quite an interesting thread. I just happened to stumble across it but ever since I can remember I haven't wanted children. A lot of my mostly male friends find it quite odd and I often got the 'you'll change your mind when your older'. I'm now 29, make it very well known that I know I'm selfish and very set in my ways. Having a child would mean giving up hell of a lot of my hobbies which I am not prepared to do. We couldn't afford children without sacrifices neither of us particularly want to make. Fortunately my boyfriend of 10 years feel the same plus he doesn't have the patience for kids ha.
Do most of you with no desire to have children have pets? My two cats and pup are my absolute world. Not so much for my boyfriend because he doesn't have the patience to train a dog!
You'll get 'you'll change your mind' until your 40s then you'll get 'ahhhh, well you could adopt' 🙄

I don't want pets either, they're just furry kids to me 🤣
 
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This is quite an interesting thread. I just happened to stumble across it but ever since I can remember I haven't wanted children. A lot of my mostly male friends find it quite odd and I often got the 'you'll change your mind when your older'. I'm now 29, make it very well known that I know I'm selfish and very set in my ways. Having a child would mean giving up hell of a lot of my hobbies which I am not prepared to do. We couldn't afford children without sacrifices neither of us particularly want to make. Fortunately my boyfriend of 10 years feel the same plus he doesn't have the patience for kids ha.
Do most of you with no desire to have children have pets? My two cats and pup are my absolute world. Not so much for my boyfriend because he doesn't have the patience to train a dog!
Me! I have a dog. I have always looked dogs from as far as I remember but I have never liked children.

Children are annoying to me. Dogs aren't. 🤷🏻‍♀️
 
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You'll get 'you'll change your mind' until your 40s then you'll get 'ahhhh, well you could adopt' 🙄

I don't want pets either, they're just furry kids to me 🤣
I'd say a dog is probably a bigger commitment than a child sometimes but I do find it so rewarding. They are my company as I spend five days a week alone! I'd do anything for all three of them.
I genuinely can't think of anything worse than being pregnant, I'd go so far as to say the thought of growing something inside me makes me feel weird and urgh.
 
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I'd say a dog is probably a bigger commitment than a child sometimes but I do find it so rewarding. They are my company as I spend five days a week alone! I'd do anything for all three of them.
I genuinely can't think of anything worse than being pregnant, I'd go so far as to say the thought of growing something inside me makes me feel weird and urgh.
Yeah, in some ways they are harder eg I could take my kid to starbucks/my mums/holiday bit not a dog. Also a kid grows up and can feed themselves etc a dog is forever a toddler basically. I'd never have kids or pets but I'm happy to hear about others kids and pets and look at photos and videos and stuff. I like kids, dogs, cats - most animals really, I just don't want my own.

Jesus, he's still banging on? What an absolute prick. You only just matched with this guy and he's acting like a sulky rejected lover or something. bleeping weirdo
I know, STILL! You'd never guess he has a kid with all the free time he clearly has 😆
 
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The passive aggressive comment about hating kids and having a degree in psychology. My mind is blown by that!
 
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What the duck?

Surely a parent would not be seeking a relationship with someone who was childfree by choice and had no interest in children.

No strings I guess it doesnt matter but I cannot imagine wanting a future with someone who didnt want kids in their life if I already had one. Surely they come first 🙄

Coming from someone with kids. Red flag central!! Whats wrong with just saying oh ok take care.
 
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