This comment is EVERYTHINGThis is why I thank God everyday that I'm not straight
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You almost have to pity people who are so boring that they can't think of a single way to spend time for 40 years if not to run around after kids etc...like sorry your life is so tedious and you're so unimaginative Stefan, but that's a You problem
People ask but who will take care of you when you’re old?! Me. Me and my nurse who I can afford to have because I invested the money that I would have spent on raising children.
Yes! That is what I was thinking, he was annoyed by his child!!
@Anne1448 your comment is bloody marvellous. The signs were all there!!
And as if having kids is a guarantee of them caring for you when you're old. They could emigrate. They could have families of their own. You could fall out with them.
Or by expecting you to care for them you could be depriving them of fulfilling their own lives and ambitions.
Then when you get home they cry that they aren't out in the snow
I agree, if it was suddenly law that every woman had to be some kind of mother I would rather be a mother than a step-mother. To me being a step-mother is much worse than being a mother (once you're past the birth bit
)This is what I think when people say being gay is a choice - like, have you met men? You think we are willingly attracted to them when there's another choiceWow the amount of red flags from this guy :
- he lied about having a child until YOU asked him which means that he would have never brought it up on his own
- he said that the relationship with his ex is complicated but if you get into a relationship with him you'll have to deal with the ex too
- he claims that he didn't see the option to tick " I have children" but he could read yours which said that you do not have nor want children and yet he still contacted you
- he said "just don't duck it off" but what is the "it" about? Because you barely talked for less than 24 hours and don't have a relationship yet
- he came back saying that "it could have been casual" which means that he only wanted you for sex even though he is a freaking father with a child who needs stability
This man brought more red flags than a trip to North Korea. He is gaslighting you and trying to guilt trip you.
This is why I thank God everyday that I'm not straight
I agree! I'm worried I won't have enough time to do everything I want to not that I have too much time to fill with nothing to do!You almost have to pity people who are so boring that they can't think of a single way to spend time for 40 years if not to run around after kids etc...like sorry your life is so tedious and you're so unimaginative Stefan, but that's a You problem
I agree, if I had a kid the last thing I would want is for them to be stuck in the area I choose to live in with obligations to care about me. What about their own dreams, wants, partner, pets, kids, career, hobbies blah blah blah.
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Yeah no matter how great the guy is being a stepmother is my idea of a personal hell. He would be tied to his ex forever more, the kid would likely resent you, it's just a hard pass from me
And as for the "I have kids so they'll mind me when I'm old" argument, I've seen enough advice forums to see that it's not always the devoted kids wanting to mind dear mother, its sometimes likely to be them arguing over who has to mind them or putting them in the cheapest possible care so it doesn't mess with their inheritance
And as for the "I have kids so they'll mind me when I'm old" argument, I've seen enough advice forums to see that it's not always the devoted kids wanting to mind dear mother, its sometimes likely to be them arguing over who has to mind them or putting them in the cheapest possible care so it doesn't mess with their inheritance
This is quite an interesting thread. I just happened to stumble across it but ever since I can remember I haven't wanted children. A lot of my mostly male friends find it quite odd and I often got the 'you'll change your mind when your older'. I'm now 29, make it very well known that I know I'm selfish and very set in my ways. Having a child would mean giving up hell of a lot of my hobbies which I am not prepared to do. We couldn't afford children without sacrifices neither of us particularly want to make. Fortunately my boyfriend of 10 years feel the same plus he doesn't have the patience for kids ha.
Do most of you with no desire to have children have pets? My two cats and pup are my absolute world. Not so much for my boyfriend because he doesn't have the patience to train a dog!
Do most of you with no desire to have children have pets? My two cats and pup are my absolute world. Not so much for my boyfriend because he doesn't have the patience to train a dog!
You'll get 'you'll change your mind' until your 40s then you'll get 'ahhhh, well you could adopt'
I don't want pets either, they're just furry kids to me
Me! I have a dog. I have always looked dogs from as far as I remember but I have never liked children.
Children are annoying to me. Dogs aren't.
I'd say a dog is probably a bigger commitment than a child sometimes but I do find it so rewarding. They are my company as I spend five days a week alone! I'd do anything for all three of them.You'll get 'you'll change your mind' until your 40s then you'll get 'ahhhh, well you could adopt'
I don't want pets either, they're just furry kids to me
I genuinely can't think of anything worse than being pregnant, I'd go so far as to say the thought of growing something inside me makes me feel weird and urgh.
Sorry, don’t want to derail the thread, but, Jesus.
goodbye.
goodbye.
Wow. What a creep
Lucky escape from Mr Red Flag I’d say
Jesus, he's still banging on? What an absolute prick. You only just matched with this guy and he's acting like a sulky rejected lover or something. bleeping weirdo
Yeah, in some ways they are harder eg I could take my kid to starbucks/my mums/holiday bit not a dog. Also a kid grows up and can feed themselves etc a dog is forever a toddler basically. I'd never have kids or pets but I'm happy to hear about others kids and pets and look at photos and videos and stuff. I like kids, dogs, cats - most animals really, I just don't want my own.
I know, STILL! You'd never guess he has a kid with all the free time he clearly has
Think you had a lucky escape! What a tosser!
The passive aggressive comment about hating kids and having a degree in psychology. My mind is blown by that!
What the duck?
Surely a parent would not be seeking a relationship with someone who was childfree by choice and had no interest in children.
No strings I guess it doesnt matter but I cannot imagine wanting a future with someone who didnt want kids in their life if I already had one. Surely they come first
Coming from someone with kids. Red flag central!! Whats wrong with just saying oh ok take care.
Surely a parent would not be seeking a relationship with someone who was childfree by choice and had no interest in children.
No strings I guess it doesnt matter but I cannot imagine wanting a future with someone who didnt want kids in their life if I already had one. Surely they come first
Coming from someone with kids. Red flag central!! Whats wrong with just saying oh ok take care.
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