Could it be they wanted kids. Where as you have made the choice to not have.My mum is staying here for Christmas. Her sister (my aunt) is very high maintenance and appeared to fall out with us on Christmas Day because we weren't texting her throughout the day. My aunt and uncle are childfree.
We were talking about my aunt's behaviour last night and my mum said several times, "I think it's jealousy because she doesn't have children." Or, "I think she's lonely because she doesn't have children."
I said, you do realise you are saying this to my face? I don't have have children either!
My mum has always readily accepted that I didn't want them, and then conversations like this happen and you realise actually they *do* think there's something missing in your life.
No, definitely not!Could it be they wanted kids. Where as you have made the choice to not have.
full credit to her for speaking so honestly and beautifully about this. the fact that she had to (in her words) “sit with” the pregnancy for two weeks, over christmas, is awful and requires some serious mental strength.Audrey Leighton just posted really good and honest stories about her abortion and wanting to remain childfree, I think this should be talked about a lot more. And she worded it beautifully.
I love that she's spoken out about this. There is STILL such a stigma around abortion and it really blows my mind.Audrey Leighton just posted really good and honest stories about her abortion and wanting to remain childfree, I think this should be talked about a lot more. And she worded it beautifully.
the worry is a big one for me. i would hate having to entertain and look after a child 24/7 but i also have massive anxiety and i know, as soon as that child was out of my sight, i would live in a state of intense paranoia - like if they’re being bullied in school, do they have a medical issue i’m missing, are they putting their hand in a plug socket, is anyone being mean to them etc, and that anxiety would probably never pass. not to mention when they’re babies and there’s a soft part of their head where their skull hasn’t formed yet, i can’t deal with that worry in my life.I've just finished reading paddy McGuiness book. It was really good! But on the marriage and kids chapter he says, the only problem with parenthood for me apart from the lack of sleep, stress, exhaustion, house being ruined and having nothing for yourself is the worry. This is true so why do people still insist on having them? I just don't understand it.
To be fair he has a lot to worry about. All his kids have additional needs.I've just finished reading paddy McGuiness book. It was really good! But on the marriage and kids chapter he says, the only problem with parenthood for me apart from the lack of sleep, stress, exhaustion, house being ruined and having nothing for yourself is the worry. This is true so why do people still insist on having them? I just don't understand it.
Yeah I know, that's not what I meant though. I meant this is how it is anyway without having autistic children too, so I don't get why people want them. If you get what I mean.To be fair he has a lot to worry about. All his kids have additional needs.
I think you worry for a while until you find your feet and then you don’t worry so much. Or maybe that’s just meYeah I know, that's not what I meant though. I meant this is how it is anyway without having autistic children too, so I don't get why people want them. If you get what I mean.
Oh ok lol.I think you worry for a while until you find your feet and then you don’t worry so much. Or maybe that’s just me
I think it's interesting, I saw other people's mums growing up who just didn't give a s*** and let their kids get on with it. You know the girls who grew up too quick and did everything by the time they was 13/14?the worry is a big one for me. i would hate having to entertain and look after a child 24/7 but i also have massive anxiety and i know, as soon as that child was out of my sight, i would live in a state of intense paranoia - like if they’re being bullied in school, do they have a medical issue i’m missing, are they putting their hand in a plug socket, is anyone being mean to them etc, and that anxiety would probably never pass. not to mention when they’re babies and there’s a soft part of their head where their skull hasn’t formed yet, i can’t deal with that worry in my life.
I’ll be honest, we’ve never had any friendships really and we aren’t interested in having them either.Hope this doesn’t derail the thread too much but I wonder if anybody may have any advice.
Recently realised that between the pandemic, changing jobs, working from home, some friends moving to different countries and other friends having kids and disappearing, our social circle has shrunk to nothing. I appreciate that my age group is mostly busy parenting and new social circles are formed around schools and sports clubs for the kids.
We have a lot of good friends living abroad but that’s not enough for regular interactions.
Pandemic restrictions notwithstanding (as hopefully they won’t last forever!), how do childfree couples go about making new friendships?
Honestly I don't know. My husband and I are reasonably antisocial, so doesn't hugely bother me. A few of his friend circle are also childfree but don't live that near us. Everyone around me, however, has a baby or wants a baby now, or in the future and i worry about my social circle in 5 years time.Hope this doesn’t derail the thread too much but I wonder if anybody may have any advice.
Recently realised that between the pandemic, changing jobs, working from home, some friends moving to different countries and other friends having kids and disappearing, our social circle has shrunk to nothing. I appreciate that my age group is mostly busy parenting and new social circles are formed around schools and sports clubs for the kids.
We have a lot of good friends living abroad but that’s not enough for regular interactions.
Pandemic restrictions notwithstanding (as hopefully they won’t last forever!), how do childfree couples go about making new friendships?
Thanks for replying! I do think that’s helpful. My other half doesn’t seem bothered at all by the lack of people around us, they are pretty happy with just the two of us, and so am I most of the time. I should also add we don’t have family in the country either and that’s probably partly what bothers me but it’s not something I can change.I’ll be honest, we’ve never had any friendships really and we aren’t interested in having them either.
i have a best friend that I’ve had since childhood, I see her and her son on my own, although my partner has met her, we don’t all mix together.
my partner has a couple of friends that he sees every now and again, without me, although I have met them too.
we also occasionally go out with my partner’s sister (she’s a similar age to us) to events.
and that’s it. We’ve both been hurt badly in the past by our respective friends/friendship groups (before we met each other) and neither of us is fussed about having anymore. We don’t feel like we are missing anything.
Sorry, I know that’s not helpful, it’s just different things for different people I guess! I think this is part of the reason we aren’t fussed about having kids, A) we don’t have anyone around us with kids and B) we don’t really have a big support network so we are used to being just the two of us.
We lost about 30% of our social circle to parenthood in the last 5 years. I know it sounds mean, but we ended up having 0 in common with all of them as they legit made parenthood their only personality trait.Honestly I don't know. My husband and I are reasonably antisocial, so doesn't hugely bother me. A few of his friend circle are also childfree but don't live that near us. Everyone around me, however, has a baby or wants a baby now, or in the future and i worry about my social circle in 5 years time.
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