Childfree by Choice #2

[Elles20]

How do people handle being asked to go on a family holiday with loads of kids? There's talk of a weekend away next year with all my nieces and nephews and siblings. I'm not too keen as you can imagine.

For me it'll depend on the type of holiday. Will you all be renting a cottage or villa together? Or will you be in different hotel rooms? Will you have to spent every part of the holiday together?

I will not go on holiday with the kids and spend 24/7 with them.

 

[judgejohndeed]

How do people handle being asked to go on a family holiday with loads of kids? There's talk of a weekend away next year with all my nieces and nephews and siblings. I'm not too keen as you can imagine.

Can you wait until there’s a solid date and then be mysteriously busy?
I went away with my partner’s family and the kids a few years ago and honestly never again. One of the kids was sick, the other kept waking us all up at 6am screaming, we obviously couldn’t really drink a huge amount or stay out that late because we had to not wake the kids up when we got back, had to constantly find ‘child friendly’ food places…I felt like I needed a holiday to get over the holiday by the end of it

 

[Traveler001]

How do people handle being asked to go on a family holiday with loads of kids? There's talk of a weekend away next year with all my nieces and nephews and siblings. I'm not too keen as you can imagine.

Try this

 

[SqualorVictoria]

There's talk of renting a big house. It just seems like my idea of hell. I also feel a bit irritated as we would never have gone away for a weekend with my uncles and aunts so why are we thinking of it? I get that the siblings with kids like the idea of cousins all hanging out but I feel a knot in the pit of my stomach thinking of it.

It sounds like I dislike the kids, I really really don't, but just the idea of everything and every activity being centred around kids is just not my idea of fun at all

 

[Raych23]

@SqualorVictoria they might have just invited you so you don't feel left out but not actually expect you to come, but I feel they should have pointed this out when they invited you

 

[Satisfying Click]

I'd feign enthusiasm about it until there's a solid date, then, "Oh, I appear to have [something really important] I can't get out of."

I love my nieces and nephews dearly, but hell would freeze over before I'd get on a plane or in a car, and holiday with them

 

[SqualorVictoria]

@SqualorVictoria they might have just invited you so you don't feel left out but not actually expect you to come, but I feel they should have pointed this out when they invited you

I see what you mean but I do think that they'd expect me to go. I think when you have kids it might not occur to you that not everyones top priority is going to be the same. We're the only ones without kids, the rest all have them and probably love the idea of all the cousins and family being together

 

[aimz_yeah]

I see what you mean but I do think that they'd expect me to go. I think when you have kids it might not occur to you that not everyones top priority is going to be the same. We're the only ones without kids, the rest all have them and probably love the idea of all the cousins and family being together

Can you just be honest and say you don't want to spend your weekend this way? I know there is a general expectation that everyone has to say yes to family but if it's going to make you miserable then it isn't a holiday for you and shouldn't be an obligation.

Are they planning on going far away? Would it be feasible to join them all for a meal out or something whilst they're away?

 

[judgejohndeed]

@SqualorVictoria when another trip was floated for us we just said we can’t afford it because we already have our own holiday plans. A polite way of saying ‘I don’t want to spend another week with your kids’

 

[ElectricDreams]

I see what you mean but I do think that they'd expect me to go. I think when you have kids it might not occur to you that not everyones top priority is going to be the same. We're the only ones without kids, the rest all have them and probably love the idea of all the cousins and family being together

My parents, sister, brother in law and nephew booked a holiday in Majorca and invited me and my partner. We politely declined because we knew the whole holiday would revolve around my nephew and we'd feel awkward if we tried to do our own thing while we were there. There were no hard feelings, and when I heard how it had gone I was relieved we decided against it! I love my family but couldn't cope with holidaying with them, kids or no kids!

 

[SqualorVictoria]

@SqualorVictoria when another trip was floated for us we just said we can’t afford it because we already have our own holiday plans. A polite way of saying ‘I don’t want to spend another week with your kids’

Excellent idea! We should plan a big trip for next year

 

[Caffeine Fiend]

I have kids and dont think its reasonable to expect childless relatives to want to use a weekend, spend money to go on a weekend away with my kids.

Of course Id invite you but if you didnt want to come I wouldnt be offended at all.

Im an adult and I hate the expectation that Ill spend ££££ on numerous weekends away for hen dos / big birthdays. No is a complete sentence!!

 

[Eureka]

How do people handle being asked to go on a family holiday with loads of kids? There's talk of a weekend away next year with all my nieces and nephews and siblings. I'm not too keen as you can imagine.

I say no. No further explanation required.

 

[mrsbucket]

I won't even spend Christmas day with my nieces/nephews, never mind go on holiday with them! Time off work is precious to me so I refuse to waste it doing stuff that I don't enjoy.

Like I've said before, some parents fail to realise that the majority of people don't find their children as cute and charming as they do

 

[ElectricDreams]

I won't even spend Christmas day with my nieces/nephews, never mind go on holiday with them! Time off work is precious to me so I refuse to waste it doing stuff that I don't enjoy.

Like I've said before, some parents fail to realise that the majority of people don't find their children as cute and charming as they do

I'm sure to spend Christmas day with my sister and her family. We had my nephew and my sister over for tea on Sunday and he was absolutely horrendous. Even my sister admitted he was being a little tit. I was actually glad when he went home as it was really stressful having him there. I'm worried that with all the excitement and sugar consumption of christmas day, he'll be just as bad, if not worse and I just want a quiet day! I feel so bad for saying that because I adore him, but I'm really not looking forward to it!

 

[DCICassieStuart]

Like I've said before, some parents fail to realise that the majority of people don't find their children as cute and charming as they do

A friend of mine has three kids. The eldest and youngest are entitled little brats, yet she thinks the sun shines out of their arse and can't see how cheeky and badly behaved they are.
The middle one is completely different, a much quieter and much better behaved child.

I think the middle one definitely got their Dad's personality.

 

[GirlOnTheTrain]

How do people handle being asked to go on a family holiday with loads of kids? There's talk of a weekend away next year with all my nieces and nephews and siblings. I'm not too keen as you can imagine.

In all honesty…if you really think you won’t enjoy it, skip it. From experience, everything from what you do, where you go, what you eat and when will revolve around the kids. If it’s somewhere not too far from where you live you could always suggest joining them for the day so at least it’s not your entire weekend written off?

 

[SqualorVictoria]

In all honesty…if you really think you won’t enjoy it, skip it. From experience, everything from what you do, where you go, what you eat and when will revolve around the kids. If it’s somewhere not too far from where you live you could always suggest joining them for the day so at least it’s not your entire weekend written off?

Yeah I could do that, will wait and see when they announce where it is. That's exactly my experience with things like these in the past, everything revolves around the kids. Totally fair enough as they're the kids and we're the adults but a whole weekend of that is not my idea of fun.

Thanks to all who replied, I was sort of feeling a bit horrible but the replies here have made me realise it's reasonable to not be jumping for joy at the idea!

 

[newtoyou]

When people say “I love children” I always think “even the annoying ones?” We need to normalise that children have their own characters, and just like adults, some of them are not people you want to spend time with.

 

[it’s not been changed?!]

Another match on bumble that doesn’t have on his profile that he has a 2 year old daughter. He told me his relationship with his ex was complicated and I asked “you don’t have a child, do you?”

that instantly got my back up. He seems a bit defensive he’s only 32, anyway! I tried to make a joke about how you can disclose you have children but you don’t want anymore. My bio says I don’t want kids.