Childfree by Choice #2

[Influencing is not a job]

Every thread I look at lately there are women describing their births. Granted some of those threads were on influencers who have just had a baby so that was my own fault for clicking into them but just this morning I clicked into a thread and it was fillllllllled with women describing their birth experiences. Christ above. Tempted to write about a tit I had once to see if people are interested in what came out of me! Nobody. Needs. To. Hear. About. You. Pushing. A. Human. Out. Your. Vagina!!!!!!

ETA and the amount of mom-shaming going on too. These women put me off having kids more and more each day! If u don't have kids u are missing out, but if u have kids and do some "wrong" parenting.... Wow! The backlash! Very nasty!

 

[Saddlesoap]

Complain about being skint. Next sentence say you are pregnant....totally baffled.

 

[HoGi]

Complain about being skint. Next sentence say you are pregnant....totally baffled.

I thought this when I saw the post you are referring to.

I was going to ask the same but wasn't brave enough!!

 

[it’s not been changed?!]

I thought this when I saw the post you are referring to.

I was going to ask the same but wasn't brave enough!!

Which post was this aimed at?!

 

[Saddlesoap]

I thought this when I saw the post you are referring to.

I was going to ask the same but wasn't brave enough!!

Haha, I'm just in a grump. Its bloody stupidity.

Which post was this aimed at?!

A post on winter of discontent

 

[Elles20]

Haven't seen the post but some people just seem to disregard the importance of contraception. I've never bloody failed to take my pill at the same time every day because its important to me that I don't get pregnant!! I don't understand it but then again it's probably the same as people who do really stupid unsafe things like taking a selfie on a cliff edge. God knows.

 

[Greencatfysh]

That thread is a bit too mumsnetty… can we have a ban on those ridiculous acronyms on tattle

 

[Greencatfysh]

on another thread where they’re arguing about when you potty train a child. Some people say 2 and some up to 3.5/4. I don’t care but the thought of changing an almost 4 year old’s nappy with actual human sized turds in it seems SO DISGUSTING TO ME

 

[CheshireLove]

Haven't seen the post but some people just seem to disregard the importance of contraception. I've never bloody failed to take my pill at the same time every day because its important to me that I don't get pregnant!! I don't understand it but then again it's probably the same as people who do really stupid unsafe things like taking a selfie on a cliff edge. God knows.

I love when they say they’re “not actively trying” but then in the same breath say they’re not using contraception. So you are trying for a baby then.

 

[Influencing is not a job]

Complain about being skint. Next sentence say you are pregnant....totally baffled.

Like when people are complaining about the cost of childcare for one, while saying they are due a 2nd..... Makes no sense

 

[mcfeez]

I love when they say they’re “not actively trying” but then in the same breath say they’re not using contraception. So you are trying for a baby then.

This one confuses me too. I know people who legitimately don't consider that "trying for a baby." Many of them have actively stopped taking the pill, using condoms etc but still claim their pregnancies as a total surprise.

 

[Greencatfysh]

This one confuses me too. I know people who legitimately don't consider that "trying for a baby." Many of them have actively stopped taking the pill, using condoms etc but still claim their pregnancies as a total surprise.

I think the difference is the amount of sex. I have friends who say when “actively trying” they’re doing it every other day and tracking their cycle really closely. If you’re just “seeing what happens” I guess you stick to your normal sex habits and don’t focus on when you’re ovulating. Most friends of mine though have definitely been tracking things like that even if it’s more of a subconscious choice

 

[mcfeez]

I think the difference is the amount of sex. I have friends who say when “actively trying” they’re doing it every other day and tracking their cycle really closely. If you’re just “seeing what happens” I guess you stick to your normal sex habits and don’t focus on when you’re ovulating. Most friends of mine though have definitely been tracking things like that even if it’s more of a subconscious choice

Understandable. Still not really sure why some of them are shocked though - legit had a female friend say it was totally unexpected, she couldn't believe it etc. But they weren't using any contraceptive!

 

[Elles20]

This one confuses me too. I know people who legitimately don't consider that "trying for a baby." Many of them have actively stopped taking the pill, using condoms etc but still claim their pregnancies as a total surprise.

Two of my friends recently got married and are now off the pill however don't consider themselves as "trying" because they're not tracking when they're ovulating. But we're all supposed to be hornier when we are ovulating, right? So it shouldn't be a surprise as long as they're not actively preventing.

 

[Sideboard Bob]

This might be an unpopular opinion, but I think for a lot of people the urge to have babies is like an unstoppable, in-built thing. Which leads to situations like that, where women aren’t “trying” to get pregnant but don’t try not to. I know it’s an active choice usually, but I think it’s like an evolutionary thing that just takes over.

Edited to add, I don’t think that’s an excuse for people to have kids when the circumstances aren’t right. It just makes me feel grateful that I’ve chosen to be childfree, it makes these considerations a lot easier.

 

[Saddlesoap]

Honestly the posters reply to me has made me question them even more.

Supposedly in 3.5 years they can't save more than £1000 before something happens that needs money spending on it. I get the unexpected costs happen, but then maybe you need to rethink what future decisions you make. The thought of having a child with no savings is terrifying to me (or maybe that's just the child ).

 

[Lana.lee]

Does anyone have any good comebacks when they are asked when they are having kids /why they have no kids /why they are not planning to have kids?

 

[Wowitsme]

I can only imagine the comments women get who chose to not have children. I had one child at quite a young age and decided I didn’t want anymore, not that it was an awful experience I was just happy with what I had. Since my late twenties till now in my late thirties I still get asked to justify why I do not want another and then sad faces met with a oh you will change your mind. Why is it such a bit deal to people when you say you don’t want any or anymore children like it deeply upsets them

 

[Phil Anne Throw Pee]

Does anyone have any good comebacks when they are asked when they are having kids /why they have no kids /why they are not planning to have kids?

In my head I say 'because the state of your evil little spawn, I couldn't face being stuck with that for the rest of my life'.

 

[Lana.lee]

I can only imagine the comments women get who chose to not have children. I had one child at quite a young age and decided I didn’t want anymore, not that it was an awful experience I was just happy with what I had. Since my late twenties till now in my late thirties I still get asked to justify why I do not want another and then sad faces met with a oh you will change your mind. Why is it such a bit deal to people when you say you don’t want any or anymore children like it deeply upsets them

It really is terrible.
I would consider myself a soft and gentle person who actually likes children. The looks I get when I suggest that I have made the decision not to have a child makes me feel like a cold, mean witch.