Childfree by Choice #12 I care about my life, not my death.

[JoeBloggs]

My friend goes back to work next week, her kid has been in a nursery for about 8 hours and he wasn't very happy going in one day so she seriously considered pulling him out. Baring in mind he has been pretty mush solely with her for the last 18 months.

The kids desperately needs to interact with other people, he barely says boo to a goose.

 

[justsatsuma]

I've clearly been living my child free life wrong...

I have acupuncture AND a sports car, and I’m 39. If I get pregnant because of that then my fella will be eating his own testicles. I know that’s like closing the barn door after the horse has bolted, but I would feel great satisfaction watching him suffer too

 

[Jane Porcupine]

Re: babysitters, I think it's just so expensive on top of the cost of whatever the event is. And there's always the risk that they will cancel last minute. My friend got one the other week to come out with me and that was definitely the case there.

 

[Tyla73]

Do people not get teenage siblings/cousins/family friends to baby sit nowadays then? I used to baby sit the younger children of family friends as a teenager to earn extra pocket money. Is that not a thing anymore?

 

[Popcornshovel]

Do people not get teenage siblings/cousins/family friends to baby sit nowadays then? I used to baby sit the younger children of family friends as a teenager to earn extra pocket money. Is that not a thing anymore?

I don't think its a thing anymore. Such a shame, me and my brother were both babysitters for neighbours when we were teens and it taught us alot about responsibility and working.

Two reasons i can think of:

Nowadays we're much more aware of safeguarding than 20 years ago. Like if parents are used it the idea that all the staff at nursery are criminal record checked, would they be OK with leaving their kid with a neighbours teenager?

Parents now have this thing about competitive parenting and never leaving the little darlings. I've heard friends brag about how little Timmy hasn't ever been left with anyone for more than an hour at a time. And I know someone who has teenage relatives who've offered to babysit but she said she doesn't trust anyone else with her toddler - madness.

 

[JoeBloggs]

Do people not get teenage siblings/cousins/family friends to baby sit nowadays then? I used to baby sit the younger children of family friends as a teenager to earn extra pocket money. Is that not a thing anymore?

I don’t think it’s a thing, mainly from both sides. Parents don’t necessarily trust teenagers and to be honest I can’t imagine today’s 15-year-olds want to be stuck in someone else’s house responsible for their children for a couple of hours for payment in a dominoes and 20 quid.

Back when I was a teenager, it was great you could watch what you wanted on telly. You got to eat a takeaway pizza and you got a bit of cash in your pocket.

 

[pinkmug]

I try not to have rose coloured glasses on about the past but I probably would not trust a teen with a small child nowadays. Even the thought of hiring a professional babysitter makes me hesitate if it's for one day/evening, how on earth would you know the person enough to trust them? Either parents were more devil may care back then or the world was less of a shithole. Every piece of news make me depressed or full of rage, I don't know how people are having babies when it's this bleak out there Maybe I'm just a debbie downer.

 

[fishyfishfish]

To be fair if I had kids there’s no way I’d leave them with a snotty 15 year old who would leave them chocking to death whilst they did a tik tok dance (massive, extreme generalisation, obviously)

 

[MavisBeacon]

I used to babysit for a woman in the village every Friday night while I was doing my A levels. 20 quid a pop, got to stay up late and watch Eurotrash. Brilliant.

 

[prozacprincess]

I was forced into babysitting as a way to make cash when I was about 13. In those days you’d just put an ad in the newsagents window. My Dad eventually let me give it up when he had to come to a house where I was stuck with a baby that would not stop crying, and I was threatening to suffocate it if he didn’t help me. I wasn’t exaggerating to him either, I had found myself stood next to the cot with a pillow in my hands.
I’m aware this might make me sound like a bit of a psychopath but I have never been able to tolerate noise. I did tell him repeatedly that I didn’t want the job but we needed money so … at least he always took me seriously after that when I said I would never have children.

 

[MavisBeacon]

The ones I looked after were about 6 and 9 or something like that. I've once had to babysit an actual baby. Never again

 

[ricemittens]

I never babysat for kids as a teen but did animal care for neighbours/friends of my parents instead. Mr RM was forced into babysitting as a teen by his mother for her friends and it’s one of the many reasons we are CF

 

[whoareyouu]

To be fair if I had kids there’s no way I’d leave them with a snotty 15 year old who would leave them chocking to death whilst they did a tik tok dance (massive, extreme generalisation, obviously)

Yeah, there wasn’t the level of distraction back then. It was TV and that was it.

 

[Princesst]

I also think parents just love taking their kids EVERYWHERE to prove a point. Even to places they know they shouldn’t really be and then getting some kind of pleasure from the misery it causes others around them. Like they almost want someone to say something or challenge them on it so they can go nuts/write to the daily Mail.

Good example. I’m going on cruise mid June to the med area. Temperature is about 30* historically and am in a group for it on Facebook. The excursions are pretty much all to historic sites that involve 10+ hour days, lots of hiking in the heat and some dodgy underfoot conditions. The descriptions all clearly state they are all tough going. Que some knobhead mother piping up in the discussion group for them “which of these would be best to take a 4 and a 1 year old on.” Has to resist the urge to say Clearly absolutely none of them, love , stay home and go to Center parks.… So I left the group instead. Parents like this are only there for themselves. Their kids shouldn’t be suffering in a hot 10 hour day of history and hikes just because she wants to pretend her life is the same and put pictures of them on Facebook or something

 

[Tyla73]

I used to babysit for a woman in the village every Friday night while I was doing my A levels. 20 quid a pop, got to stay up late and watch Eurotrash. Brilliant.

This was pretty much my experience of babysitting - I only sat for the two younger children of close family friends (the parents are still besties with my parents to this day), they were around 4 and 6 when I started, and I got to rule the TV, eat Kit Kats and earn some cash. The 80s were a much simpler time .

 

[ChastityDingle]

I also think parents just love taking their kids EVERYWHERE to prove a point. Even to places they know they shouldn’t really be and then getting some kind of pleasure from the misery it causes others around them. Like they almost want someone to say something or challenge them on it so they can go nuts/write to the daily Mail.

Good example. I’m going on cruise mid June to the med area. Temperature is about 30* historically and am in a group for it on Facebook. The excursions are pretty much all to historic sites that involve 10+ hour days, lots of hiking in the heat and some dodgy underfoot conditions. The descriptions all clearly state they are all tough going. Que some knobhead mother piping up in the discussion group for them “which of these would be best to take a 4 and a 1 year old on.” Has to resist the urge to say Clearly absolutely none of them, love , stay home and go to Center parks.… So I left the group instead. Parents like this are only there for themselves. Their kids shouldn’t be suffering in a hot 10 hour day of history and hikes just because she wants to pretend her life is the same and put pictures of them on Facebook or something

There's an element of that plus a growing sense that nobody else in the world counts except them and their sprogs.

I can't remember where it was that I was visiting a tourist attraction a few years ago, and there were very small kids there who had not a shred of interest in it. And I didn't blame them for that. Just the sheer stupidity of the parents bringing them along.

 

[pinkmug]

Their kids shouldn’t be suffering in a hot 10 hour day of history and hikes just because she wants to pretend her life is the same and put pictures of them on Facebook or something

That's the thing though, isn't it. There are some things you can do comfortably with a well behaved and functioning child but a lot of things you can't. It's okay that you can't, or at least it should be okay but there is this anxiety that as if they change their lives, they admit defeat.

Your life SHOULD change ffs, a small human who is dependent on you for literally everything exists only because you wanted them here. That means you shouldn't drag a four year old and a one year old to boil under the Mediterranean sun on hikes in ruins that have been frying in 40°C weather. I can't think of a single four year old who wants heat stroke instead of a chill day at the beach or the pool. I often see random people's travel plans because of my work and the amount of people who take very young kids on long trips across southern Europe in the hottest time of year is staggering.

 

[bananabutter]

That's the thing though, isn't it. There are some things you can do comfortably with a well behaved and functioning child but a lot of things you can't. It's okay that you can't, or at least it should be okay but there is this anxiety that as if they change their lives, they admit defeat.

Your life SHOULD change ffs, a small human who is dependent on you for literally everything exists only because you wanted them here. That means you shouldn't drag a four year old and a one year old to boil under the Mediterranean sun on hikes in ruins that have been frying in 40°C weather. I can't think of a single four year old who wants heat stroke instead of a chill day at the beach or the pool. I often see random people's travel plans because of my work and the amount of people who take very young kids on long trips across southern Europe in the hottest time of year is staggering.

This reminds me of a few years ago I went to see the sun rise over uluru so obviously a group tour including breakfast at around 4/5 am. At first it was lovely, sitting there watching the sun rise in the silence. Then it was just full of crying, some parents thought it was a fantastic idea to bring three children they’re obviously too young to appreciate the view, and are beyond tired from waking up at stupid o clock. And it ruins the experience for everyone else

 

[Popcornshovel]

The best thing about being childfree is that I've never been tempted to dress like a toddler with outfits from Popsy/Rainbows&Sprinkles.

My friends with kids used to dress nice for work and brunches - now they're dropping £40 on otter print leggings. These will also be the people who say they're too broke to meet up for lunch, while having a whole new wardrobe of this stuff.

 

[YetAnotherObsessionx]

The best thing about being childfree is that I've never been tempted to dress like a toddler with outfits from Popsy/Rainbows&Sprinkles.

My friends with kids used to dress nice for work and brunches - now they're dropping £40 on otter print leggings. These will also be the people who say they're too broke to meet up for lunch, while having a whole new wardrobe of this stuff.

LOL the Popsy thread on here is full of chat about those people.

I've enjoyed my childfree Saturday by drinking gin&tonics while pottering around in the garden, with some tunes on, while husband tells me about his colleague whose 20-something daughter 'can't be bothered' to get anything for her mum on Mother's Day. Ah yes, that unconditional love that children bring...