View attachment 1734772
View attachment 1734773
This video she shared seems so problematic (as in, worrying) in her case. It sounds like she’s convincing herself that Joel is the one because he puts on a romantic performance for her. Sure, you shouldn't have to feel like you can't ask for your needs for romance to be met. It’s good to be with someone who will offer you romance. But not if that is the entire basis of your relationship, which it seems to be for them. If you’ve not developed more understanding about each other, not built trust, not taken some time to evaluate your compatibility, but you’re ready to perform the big romantic gestures, isn’t your relationship just a big superficial show? It feels like she's telling herself this relationship is good because there's lots of romance, and not looking at the rest of the relationship.
Also it always comes across as so disingenuous when she acts like she’s with Joel because she started setting higher standards for herself (demanding the romance she craves!). She would still be with Oliver if she’d been able to convince him to stay, like she said. She’s with Joel because she got dumped, he came along, and now she’s pretending this was her first choice all along.