Caroline Flack

[Spilttea]

Honestly, the best thing her friends (flackstock anyone?!), her family and most of all her mother can do is let her rest in the peace she never had when she was alive. Remember her in private, celebrate her life privately, grieve privately.

Most of her issues (that we knew of) stemmed from her own poor choices. She was beautiful, successful and not short of money, but she was messy af, obsessed with being seen as desirable and climbing the slippery pole of celebrity, fan of recreational drugs and the party lifestyle.

Her death was her decision, no one is to blame, not the authorities, not her friends and not even the men she actively pursued and chose to date. I hate this beatification of problematic celebs after their death. Just let it be. They are gone. And the ‘be kind’ bullshit can get in the fucking bin because it’s always used to shut up anyone with a dissenting pov no matter how constructive.

 

[Miss98]

Having read multiple articles to the inquest today, as much as I feel sorry for Caroline (and no person should ever feel that shit about themselves that they are suicidal or unfortunately end their life), it was stated in the inquest and confirmed that Caroline did beat her ex boyfriend up and she did give him an injury to his head - whatever happened. If this were a man who was accused of DV, I guarantee things would play out much differently and we wouldn't have the constant "be kind" and outpouring of sympathies for Caroline. I feel awful for her family and friends and can't think what they may be going through and thinking, but to blame it all on the press and showbiz - Caroline must have known she had issues and could have tried to get them sorted with the money she had and knowing one day her actions could have catastrophic consequences like this incident. It is totally unfair to downplay her actions differently just because she ended her life and was a female. Domestic violence isn't okay what ever gender you are.

 

[GrunkaLunka]

It makes no difference what she used to hit him over the head, the fact is that she hit him, with an object, hard enough to break the skin. He had a head wound.

Her mother is trying to rewrite history by splitting hairs about which weapon her daughter was wielding and whether the first on scene were right to call the head wound "significant". It's disgusting, and I wish that she would stop and think for a moment about how she would feel if the shoe was on the other foot.

Caroline was not the victim.

 

[Sandyclaws]

Tbh i think that its about time that the whole "be kind" crap was shown for what it really is.
To allow people to behave as abhorrently as they want, and then not call them out for it because OTHER people have to "be kind" absolutely boils my blood.

 

[Moley1]

This is a very sad story, but no sadder than the stories of the other countless suicides that happen all the time. It gets coverage because the person involved is a “celebrity” but what of the “ordinary” who also decide that they can’t go on any longer?

I can understand her hurt, but for he mother to say that the case only went ahead because she was a “celebrity” is total nonsense. You only have to look at the magistrate’s court lists every day to see that hundreds of “ordinary” people are charged with domestic violences offences all over the country.

For her to use an official public forum to lay a guilt trip on a police officer who was only doing their duty was appalling behaviour.

if you hit someone over the head with a hard object whilst they are sleeping to the extent that you draw blood, you must expect to face the legal consequences, whether you are famous or not.

We, of course, will never know what would have happened if the case had been dropped, but given her history there is every chance that it could have happened again in the future. Had she ended up seriously injuring someone, that police officer would have been hounded for making the wrong decision.

This was an opportunity for Caroline to face up to her demons and maybe finally get the help she needed to get her life back on track. Sadly she took another option. Her mother and her family need to understand that this is all down to Caroline herself, not the police and not the CPS. Whilst it must be awful to be hounded by the media, she wasn’t the first and she won’t be the last.

The thing is, if you don’t want to end up in this situation, if it gets to the point where you are out of control, seek proper help. You don’t end up in court and all over the papers if you don’t assault people.

It may sound harsh, but Caroline’s mother needs to understand that Caroline was responsible for her own actions.

 

[FunnyFuneral]

My husband has had major mental health problems, not too far from Caroline’s, and the seeds are sown in childhood. Friends or partners you meet as an adult are not responsible for your baseline mental health. I’ve tried to help him so many times and ultimately he can only help himself with the support of a trained professional. Putting all this weight on her female friends and blaming them for leaving is not fair; I’m not a huge Lou Teasdale fan, but she said on a recent podcast that her Dad was saying it was too much (the amount of time she was spending looking after Caroline) and she needed to have a day out with her young daughter and extended family (too right!). A single parent should not be expected to keep leaving their child to nurse a 40 year old lady making bad life choices.

I don't know anything about her friend Lou Teasdale, who obviously tried to help and support her to the detriment of her own family and child.
As a former Samaritan, it really irks me when a family try to put the blame and responsibility on someone else for the death of their loved one by suicide.
Only one person made that choice, and as we can see, if they are serious about it will do it when they have the opportunity.
So unfair to blame her friends when they were there doing their best and trying to support her.
It's all very unfair, and unkind towards the friends who tried to be there for her, and Mum should wind her neck in and have a little think about where she was at the time.
Absolutely not blaming her either as I said earlier, only one person was responsible for Caroline's death.
You may be able to tell that I have lost a loved one myself to suicide. Never a thought of putting the blame on anyone else for it.
It's very hard

 

[GrunkaLunka]

If it’s true that her boyfriend sent pictures of the scene to others , that is unforgivable.

Don’t blame them! Sending a photo to the scene to an ex was absolutely vile behaviour, he should be ashamed of himself

This bloke was the victim of a violent crime. He'd just been beaten and assaulted. I don't think it's vile, unforgivable, nor do I think he should be ashamed that he took a photo of the scene and sent it to a friend. It might not have been the best decision, with hindsight and it does look the friend leaked the photo but I doubt he was thinking particularly clearly at that point. He was probably scared and shaken up. Maybe couldn't believe what had just happened to him and wanted to share it with someone. Victim blaming is a really awful phenomenon which needs to end now.

 

[GingerSquid]

It's all really sad, but I can't help but feel the mother is deflecting from her own guilt at how things turned out for her daughter, especially when apportioning blame to the friends after all they had done to try and help her.
Only one person is responsible for the choice and actions of Caroline in ending her own life, and that is Caroline herself.

My husband has had major mental health problems, not too far from Caroline’s, and the seeds are sown in childhood. Friends or partners you meet as an adult are not responsible for your baseline mental health. I’ve tried to help him so many times and ultimately he can only help himself with the support of a trained professional. Putting all this weight on her female friends and blaming them for leaving is not fair; I’m not a huge Lou Teasdale fan, but she said on a recent podcast that her Dad was saying it was too much (the amount of time she was spending looking after Caroline) and she needed to have a day out with her young daughter and extended family (too right!). A single parent should not be expected to keep leaving their child to nurse a 40 year old lady making bad life choices.

 

[paigelemonade]

People need to keep PC Harper’s name out of this. He was a brave and honourable man who died serving and protecting us all. This isn’t in any way a thread about him and he doesn’t deserve to be mentioned on a gossip website like this, I would hate for this to come up when people google him. Very bad taste imo. The murders who killed him deserved much longer than they got and the way they acted in and out of court is disgustingly inhuman. His wife did not demand anything, she wrote a heartfelt letter about her feelings surrounding him getting the justice he deserved and asked for the public to share in spreading the message, nearly all of whom were already happy to do so. Now she’s campaigning for a law in his name to protect our protectors which is wonderful. Don’t mention him on here. He was such a courageous officer and doesn’t need to be bought up in this discussion at all imo.

 

[Boogs]

Losing a child is devastating but continuing to publicly place blame on her friends 5 years down the line is pretty abhorrent. Caroline was 40 years old and she’s acting like she was a child who was not responsible for her actions. Sadly this maybe shows part of the reason why Caroline could not take responsibility and face consequences for her actions.

 

[darkcherry14k]

I really don't like the downplaying of domestic violence here. Regardless of gender it's wrong, whether you have problems, personality disorders, your woman who's upset etc, it's wrong! Don't downplay it! Lewis was obviously scared enough to call the police, that's enough to tell me he was genuinely scared for himself or for her. He was asleep and was woken by being assaulted. She admitted she whacked him in her own words and people trying to downplay it! Heck she even flipped the table in the police station! She was obviously out of control and if this was a man doing it to a woman there wouldn't be any excuses being made. This was gonna play out in court and she couldn't handle it, she sounded like she couldn't handle being held accountable for her own behaviour at all, she sounded like she had been protected by a tight inner circle but she messed up and they couldn't cover this incident up it had got out and the media frenzy was just too big for it to die down, the damage had been done, and it was Caroline who had done the damage but couldn't deal with the consequences, it's really unfair with this blame game, this was all her own doing.

 

[IllBredHen]

I don't know anything about her friend Lou Teasdale, who obviously tried to help and support her to the detriment of her own family and child.
As a former Samaritan, it really irks me when a family try to put the blame and responsibility on someone else for the death of their loved one by suicide.
Only one person made that choice, and as we can see, if they are serious about it will do it when they have the opportunity.
So unfair to blame her friends when they were there doing their best and trying to support her.
It's all very unfair, and unkind towards the friends who tried to be there for her, and Mum should wind her neck in and have a little think about where she was at the time.
Absolutely not blaming her either as I said earlier, only one person was responsible for Caroline's death.
You may be able to tell that I have lost a loved one myself to suicide. Never a thought of putting the blame on anyone else for it.
It's very hard

Thank you for being a Samaritan. They've saved my life before and I'll always be grateful

 

[MrsBsDayOff]

Another article in Daily Mail sounds like the mother is going for Lewis in the documentary too.

Mention of the texts on his phone that set Caroline off so no doubt she’s going to say he was unfaithful. He probably was but again..her daughter had MH problems for years so I don’t know why she is trying to blame everyone.

The mother needs to stop seeking publicity and blaming others. She needs to deal with her grief privately and seek professional support. None of this blame game is going to bring Caroline back or make things any better for the family.

The mother is actually hurting other people now, and it's unfair.

Suicide is very difficult to rationalise for those left behind and it's easy to point fingers.

Also shame on any tv producers exploiting the mother's grief.

 

[Whatsallthis]

So Lewis posted this after her passing “I will be your voice... I will get all the answers” but then doesn’t even attend the inquest and opts to send a letter instead? Possibly because it was about to be made public that is was him who sent on the photos that were leaked to the press?
And did he really need to spend the night at Lottie Tomlinsons when this was happening today? Just so disrespectful of you ask me.

 

[GalaxyGirl70]

In the kindest way, her Mum just wants/needs someone to blame. And her friends weren't responsible in any way shape or form for her actions. Only Caroline was.

Sounds like a massive case of denial as to how mentally unwell her daughter was. Why wasn't she with her if she was that concerned?

 

[Snoopdog]

I totally get why Caroline’s mum would be looking for someone to blame. On the surface, Caroline had everything to live for - and to hear that cps initially only wanted to caution her, to then find out that they were going ahead with a trial, I would imagine its natural to look for someone to blame, and to pinpoint that as being the cause - if they hadn’t gone ahead and wanted to take it to trial, then Caroline may not have died. My daughter died - she was very premature and had everything stacked against her but still, I blamed the consultant, the midwife, the hospital - if only they had got her out earlier, if only they had tried to keep her in, all the if onlys - maybe a form of denial, a part of grief. I imagine if I was Caroline’s mum, I would feel exactly the same. When really, we will never know. No one will know how bad she must have been feeling, what else may have pushed her to end everything, it’s so desperately sad.

 

[thegirlscout]

People should always be kind, and I do remember she was hounded after this arrest

Maybe she should have taken her own advice. She assaulted her boyfriend.
---

I mean no disrespect, but was it ever addressed why Caroline always seemed to date much younger men?

I know she’s been sort of made into a saint since she died and people are saying she killed herself because of how horrible the press was. Being driven to suicide is an horrendous feeling.
At the same time she did sound quite manipulative - combined with her assaulting her boyfriend and emotionally instability I wonder if she dated younger men because they were easier to control or had less life experience.
---

In the kindest way, her Mum just wants/needs someone to blame. And her friends weren't responsible in any way shape or form for her actions. Only Caroline was.

Sounds like a massive case of denial as to how mentally unwell her daughter was. Why wasn't she with her if she was that concerned?

According to the inquest Lou and Millie called an ambulance the night before she killed herself because Caroline had messaged them that she was going to kill herself and they found her barely conscious in the living room with pills near her. Caroline refused medical help and the next day was angry at her friends for calling the ambulance and wanted them to leave.
She had also apparently tried to take her life in December the previous year. Why was it left to her friends to look after such a mentally fragile person?

 

[redruby91]

It makes no difference what she used to hit him over the head, the fact is that she hit him, with an object, hard enough to break the skin. He had a head wound.

Her mother is trying to rewrite history by splitting hairs about which weapon her daughter was wielding and whether the first on scene were right to call the head wound "significant". It's disgusting, and I wish that she would stop and think for a moment about how she would feel if the shoe was on the other foot.

Caroline was not the victim.

Well said! Lamp, phone or whatever….she attacked him causing injury. Christines trivialising is disgusting and shows the type of person she is. Caroline received an incredible amount of support from friends and Lewis before she died but continued to blame everyone else. Lewis was not the first boyfriend she’d bashed and she was essentially an abuser. Caroline is responsible for her own death and Christine would be better accepting that and letting go of a pointless vendetta no one believes.

 

[RedMagnolia]

Fathers 4 Justice are a horrible group of men who, in most cases, have rightly been denied access to their children. The Family Court rarely deny fathers the right to see their children without there being a damn good reason why they shouldn't.

I kind of agree about KK selling the private messages from Caroline though, she could have kept those to herself, it can't have made things any easier for Caroline's family in their grief.

 

[redruby91]

I think her mother should let it rest now. She seems determined to blame everyone but Caroline for her death. Her accusations of her friends not being there for Caroline when she herself wasn’t is something else. She also fails to address that Caroline had form for physically attacking her boyfriends and on the night in question she’d hit her, sleeping defenceless boyfriend over the head with a lamp, she could have killed him! The CPS were right to pursue it. Caroline took her life, not through guilt but because she knew what she did was so awful that her career was in all probability finished. That’s what she couldn’t cope with.