Mrsturnerreturns
VIP Member
The media didn’t kill Caroline - her m/h issues did. Simple as.
- Notice
VeniVidiVicki
VIP Member
I suspect that really her mum blames herself but she can’t bear to admit that. And actually she shouldn’t do that either. Caroline was a woman approaching middle age with every single available resource to support her mental health. Her not choosing to have a doctor is not evidence of tabloid intrusion but of complete paranoia. There are thousands of celebrities who choose when and how to release info of health conditions. I can’t think of any of them being leaked to the press. And I’m sorry but she wasn’t that famous. I used to live in north west London and regularly saw people a lot more famous than Caroline in Waitrose. No one paid them any attention. London is stuffed full of them
CF committed suicide a day before my son was sectioned following a multi storey car park attempt. I know my daughter was tormented by the thoughts that we would be blamed for not preventing this..although we had done all that was humanly possible and my son was repeatedly let down by Community MH services after numerous red flag episodes.
I believe like others that the mum is desperate to deflect the blame onto others and maybe wants a bit of attention herself. Personally I think her motives are misguided and CF should be allowed the dignity of eternal peace without raking up her troubled life and raising more questions. MH services will never be up to the job despite all the platitudes and guff. Severe mental illness is a loose cannon and impossible to understand.
I believe like others that the mum is desperate to deflect the blame onto others and maybe wants a bit of attention herself. Personally I think her motives are misguided and CF should be allowed the dignity of eternal peace without raking up her troubled life and raising more questions. MH services will never be up to the job despite all the platitudes and guff. Severe mental illness is a loose cannon and impossible to understand.
Dirty Joan
Well-known member
Kind of tacky to post pics, imo. Can’t they leave it out for one day?
one minute they’re all “social media is a scourge”, they next they’re uploading pics of the funeral afters
OnlyHereForTheLolz
VIP Member
I’ve never been on the CF love train. I found her immature and annoying and the fact that people blamed her victims of asssault disgusting
ahtisyourself
VIP Member
I can’t believe the mother didn’t even reach out to ask Louise how she is after finding Caroline the way she found her. That’s absolutely appalling. If memory serves, Louise wasn’t invited to the funeral either. Even if Louise was there doing the bare minimum, which by all accounts she wasn’t, she was worn out it seems - it’s still more than what Caroline’s own mother seems to have done, which is nothing at all?
YellowLadybird
Chatty Member
One thing I struggle with in this case is the general message that it sends about suicide. I worked with a lot of people in mental health crisis as a nurse, although I would by no means consider myself an expert.
When Thirteen Reasons Why came out a few years ago, and Hannah was pictured using her suicide in part to get 'revenge' on those around her, there was UPROAR. Everyone seemed to be talking about the terrible message this was sending to young people, that suicide was in any way a solution to your problems and that you could use it to take control of the narrative about yourself. There was a girl at my school who killed herself aged about 15, and after an initial sadness the whole case just faded from most people's minds. I remember thinking that the fact everyone was still so focussed on Hannah so long after she had died was completely unrealistic.
That seems to be exactly what has happened with Caroline. By ending her life when she did, she has become a tragic figure and garnered all of the sympathy. Before she died, she was a pariah: a domestic abuser, her career over. Now she is seen as the victim of a predatory court case (whether or not that is true I don't know) and remembered far more for the positive things that she did in the spotlight. Episodes of shows are being dedicated to her, and numerous celebrities have voiced their sympathy. I cannot imagine that if she had lived and been tried for domestic assault that she would have ever come back to the point of being seen so positively in the media.
I worry about the message this sends to vulnerable individuals, that suicide is a 'solution' to your problems and can avoid bringing shame on your family and loved ones. No one seems to be talking about this when it comes to Caroline.
When Thirteen Reasons Why came out a few years ago, and Hannah was pictured using her suicide in part to get 'revenge' on those around her, there was UPROAR. Everyone seemed to be talking about the terrible message this was sending to young people, that suicide was in any way a solution to your problems and that you could use it to take control of the narrative about yourself. There was a girl at my school who killed herself aged about 15, and after an initial sadness the whole case just faded from most people's minds. I remember thinking that the fact everyone was still so focussed on Hannah so long after she had died was completely unrealistic.
That seems to be exactly what has happened with Caroline. By ending her life when she did, she has become a tragic figure and garnered all of the sympathy. Before she died, she was a pariah: a domestic abuser, her career over. Now she is seen as the victim of a predatory court case (whether or not that is true I don't know) and remembered far more for the positive things that she did in the spotlight. Episodes of shows are being dedicated to her, and numerous celebrities have voiced their sympathy. I cannot imagine that if she had lived and been tried for domestic assault that she would have ever come back to the point of being seen so positively in the media.
I worry about the message this sends to vulnerable individuals, that suicide is a 'solution' to your problems and can avoid bringing shame on your family and loved ones. No one seems to be talking about this when it comes to Caroline.
A lot has been written about CF since her passing. Lots of it has been sensitively handled but reading between the lines it’s clear what sort of person she was and what sort of life she led.
Her mum blaming her friends, the CPS, the police and anyone else is misguided at best. Her image has been largely protected by her friends when they could have quite easily have sold stories on her to put forward their version of the days weeks leading to her taking her life.
Her mum blaming her friends, the CPS, the police and anyone else is misguided at best. Her image has been largely protected by her friends when they could have quite easily have sold stories on her to put forward their version of the days weeks leading to her taking her life.
Wasn’t a fan either, since her death her name gets bandied about as a reminder of how the press and media led to her death. People (mostly women) get told to “be kind” if anything vaguely critical is said about another woman in the public eye.
A lot of her lifestyle and relationship choices are mostly hinted at now. She thrived off the column inches dedicated to her love life, dress sense and party lifestyle. Like most female presenters who are largely chosen for their looks I think she lived in fear of being replaced by someone younger and hotter.
thegrumpos
Chatty Member
“Flicking” a phone at someone wouldn’t cut their head open, especially as it wasn’t his face, it was on the top of his head which is specifically thick to protect your brain from injury! Throwing it probably would.
The CPS had every right to decide to prosecute, mitigating circumstances would have been considered at court. If it had reached trial or if she’d have pled guilty.
the suggestion that people don’t feel sympathy is incorrect, most people feel sympathy for the fact she was suffering from some serious mental health issues throughout her life that eventually lead to a successful suicide attempt (remembering she had tried before also). I personally feel extremely sorry for her, but I do not think the blame lies with the CPS or the media. I don’t actually think the “blame” lies anywhere. It was a really unfortunate, sad situation.
I also believe even if she hadn’t have ended her life that day, it was very likely to come at some point. She was refusing to get help. You cannot help someone in crisis who refuses to help themselves.
The CPS had every right to decide to prosecute, mitigating circumstances would have been considered at court. If it had reached trial or if she’d have pled guilty.
the suggestion that people don’t feel sympathy is incorrect, most people feel sympathy for the fact she was suffering from some serious mental health issues throughout her life that eventually lead to a successful suicide attempt (remembering she had tried before also). I personally feel extremely sorry for her, but I do not think the blame lies with the CPS or the media. I don’t actually think the “blame” lies anywhere. It was a really unfortunate, sad situation.
I also believe even if she hadn’t have ended her life that day, it was very likely to come at some point. She was refusing to get help. You cannot help someone in crisis who refuses to help themselves.
FunnyFuneral
VIP Member
It's all really sad, but I can't help but feel the mother is deflecting from her own guilt at how things turned out for her daughter, especially when apportioning blame to the friends after all they had done to try and help her.
Only one person is responsible for the choice and actions of Caroline in ending her own life, and that is Caroline herself.
Only one person is responsible for the choice and actions of Caroline in ending her own life, and that is Caroline herself.
OnlyHereForTheLolz
VIP Member
The be-kind brigade are always the least kind.
RosePetals
Chatty Member
What exactly is mutton dressed as lamb? How can normal clothes be assigned into some sort of age category? I was going to say I thought she often looked nice and was going to leave it at that but then what does it bloody matter what I or anyone thinks about her clothing?
She never wore anything offensive so I genuinely don't know why it has any relevance seeing as unfortunately she's not been here to dress as mutton or lamb for 6 months now.
I honestly want to know what possesses someone to come onto a thread about a woman who has taken her own life and leave comments about bullying vibes and sexist comments about clothing. The woman's dead what do you think your comment could add to the discussion apart from making you look heartless?
So many questions
thegrumpos
Chatty Member
Imagine how much guilt she holds for that, leaving her then she does it. People have free will and as heartbreaking as it is for anyone who loved CF, she took the first opportunity to do when she was left alone which means she had every intention and was just waiting for her time. If it had not been that day it’d have been another.
What if it had been whilst her twin was there - popped for a shower or needed to make an urgent dash to the chemist etc. would the mum be holding her responsible?
I think it’s incredibly sad that she’ll carry the burden her whole life and CF mum has never tried to lighten that load despite CF being a highly vulnerable person with documented mental health issues and having attempted before. LT was just the unlucky person to be there when CF went through with it.
What if it had been whilst her twin was there - popped for a shower or needed to make an urgent dash to the chemist etc. would the mum be holding her responsible?
I think it’s incredibly sad that she’ll carry the burden her whole life and CF mum has never tried to lighten that load despite CF being a highly vulnerable person with documented mental health issues and having attempted before. LT was just the unlucky person to be there when CF went through with it.
Phil I Buster
VIP Member
I feel for her mum but it’s lunacy to lay any blame at the friends’ doors. She had a fragile daughter who had spiralled. It wasn’t down to Caroline’s pals to look after her.
Littlemissjade
Well-known member
Probably not a popular opinion but I feel for caroline. She was obviously in a very bad place mentally and seeing those texts clearly triggered something in her, obviously she shouldn't of hit him, but for him to say to her your fucked now and ring the police hes obviously done that out or rage and anger 
Does feel like everyone went on a massive witch hunt for her, because lewis himself didnt want to press charges and wanted eveyrhjng dropped.
Seems to me the police and cps then felt it was getting so much media attention they had to act harshly and charge her, which then set the press off and hunted her down until she had no choice but to end her life, all seems very sad she was very clearly a lost sole and struggled massively
Does feel like everyone went on a massive witch hunt for her, because lewis himself didnt want to press charges and wanted eveyrhjng dropped.
Seems to me the police and cps then felt it was getting so much media attention they had to act harshly and charge her, which then set the press off and hunted her down until she had no choice but to end her life, all seems very sad she was very clearly a lost sole and struggled massively
Sarahjay01
New member
I've been in an abusive relationship, my abuser often threatened suicide to me & his friends, and attempted it on more than one occasion, this was always when he didnt get his own way, or when he had done something wrong and needed to shift the blame. If our relationship had of been played out to the press like this has, id of looked like heartless and people would have said "he never should have been left alone in that state of vulnerability" but the fact is this probably happened on several occasions and being involved with someone threatening suicide in a pattern is emotionally draining for the people involved who also have families and lives to live, I'm sure they will be filled with regret and what ifs but really they probably exhausted all options. Sad for everyone involved.
Beverley Macker
VIP Member
I feel very sorry for LT father as well. It seems like he was the one who ‘dealt with it’ in LT words as she was screaming and trying to comfort CF twin sister. He must’ve had to get her down, and perform CPR etc.
He’ll never get over that.
And then CF mum blames his daughter, I’d be utterly furious.
He’ll never get over that.
And then CF mum blames his daughter, I’d be utterly furious.
GalaxyGirl70
VIP Member
Fully agree, I'm finding all the coverage a little bit sickening today. I can understand why her family need someone to blame, but they also need to take account of an adult woman making some very poor life choices.
thegrumpos
Chatty Member
I do agree that the media ripped her to shreds as they love a fallen woman, however we know they are scum bags and not that has changed since the phone hacking days. They love the downfall of a celeb especially if it’s a young attractive one.
CF knew this, it was the world she inhabited and she courted the press as needed, as all celebs do.
It would have passed though, a more resilient person would have taken some time off, the charges would have likely been dropped, and come back later. Many careers have bounced back, short of being Gary Glitter we’ve seen some right wronguns resurface after scandals - it wasn’t THAT bad in the world of celeb imo.
But she wasn’t robust, she was extremely fragile. It’s really really sad. I can totally understand why her mother feels there is a score to be settled. I don’t think it’ll help, we all know the tabloids are scumbags, this isn’t new information
a documentary about mental health in young women would have been a more fitting legacy. The shortage of care, support and access to treatment etc.
CF knew this, it was the world she inhabited and she courted the press as needed, as all celebs do.
It would have passed though, a more resilient person would have taken some time off, the charges would have likely been dropped, and come back later. Many careers have bounced back, short of being Gary Glitter we’ve seen some right wronguns resurface after scandals - it wasn’t THAT bad in the world of celeb imo.
But she wasn’t robust, she was extremely fragile. It’s really really sad. I can totally understand why her mother feels there is a score to be settled. I don’t think it’ll help, we all know the tabloids are scumbags, this isn’t new information
a documentary about mental health in young women would have been a more fitting legacy. The shortage of care, support and access to treatment etc.