Dya know what? This has really just helped me. I'm sure everyone gets them, but today feels like an insurmountable day. Im sat on laptop at 'work' (dining room table as office in conservatory is far too cold) and I'm struggling. Emails are coming in and i can't face opening them. Theyre piling up, okay 12 but i like a tidy open inbox and they're big tasks which will take awhile, and although its making me feel worse by not opening, i really cant.
When 5 oclock comes my structured day ends, and without the background of work i get lost. What do i do for the next 6 hours? I walked the dog at lunch as i needed to get out of house and try and get out my head and that was marginally successful for the 30 mins i was out. Other than cook dinner, where calories certainly do count right now as trying to shift lockdown gain, tidy up and shower, i have nothing to look forward to. And it saps my energy so much i listlessly look through social and see everyone elses fab lives when mine feels shite. But its not, I'm in a good place financially and I have some people around me, but wheres the spark gone?
And again, I'm like you, i know people have suffered worse. My real lows last year were my divorce, moving to a new area with not many friends (he kept those with the dogs, house and waitrose card) and losing a really close friend to a heart attack. I've still got my job, which managed to give me a promotion last year and i have my health.
I feel awful sat here with the blues, i feel ungrateful, over the top and down right selfish, but the snappity snapping out of it isnt here. And i feel bad for hijacking your post, and i hate that you're struggling too. I guess everyone is in their own ways, and knowing that will help me over the next few days. I dont wanna use the cliche of its okay to not be okay, but seeing you guys share is actually proving that true.
Right i think im rambling now, big girl pants on, time for coffee and a tab (sorry dirty smoker) and maybe open the now 16 emails i have