Brummy Mummy #110 When God gave out chins, Babs thought He said C ocks In Tins, so she asked for a triple

[SugarSnapBam]

Now that's being kind to Babs and insulting to the pond

Fixed Babs latest rambling for her

View attachment 1273657

So the sad bint isn't actually drawing on the wall, she's drawing on a photo of the wall on her phone, for attention. Grow le duck up, Babs. Get a creative hobby, volunteer in a food bank, take a night school class - instead of behaving like a teenager. How humiliating for your husband and children.

 

[Jossstickjunky]

Bab, you really need to get off your fat, lardy arse and get some cleaning done in your house. Your windows and frame are a disgrace! Dirty, mouldy and cobwebs. Just a tip, if you actually opened the windows, maybe your your house wouldnt have the problem with damp and mould.

 

[SugarSnapBam]

Calling a pre tingo that by the end of the week we'll have the rehashed spread eagle Babs on the bed

The eagle and fat arse peach emoji's killed me ffs

 

[GingerWhinger]

At least now we can rule out the shed & bike shed as where Ste sleeps……thanks Babs!

 

[AliceInWanderLost]

Pretty hypocritical of Emma to be criticising Steven for having loads of tat in his shed!

yeah, obvs the only reason he's having to store his tat in the shed is because their hobbit house is filled to bursting with babs' own collection of plastic tat, and it's not as though he even has his own designated storage in babs' bedroom, because it's HER room only. he clearly has far less of a tat collection if he can fit it into a shed, so it's pretty hypocritical of her to complain about him when she has her own tat hoard that's a million times larger!

equally, that box she's blabbering on abiut which is labelled "horses" - it's babs who owns the label maker, and babs who insists on labelling everything, from their shoe storage in the hallway, labelled "shoes", to each and every jar filled with decanted decaf teabags, coffee, hot cock powder - and even marshmallows - in the kitchen cupboard. she's so slap-happy with that label machine that at this point, i'm surprised she hasn't labeled the kids. we all know damn well that babs does not share, so it's incredibly obvious that the "horses" label on that box was added by babs - it may be bleeping weird, in the sense that adding labels to every possible item in your home is bleeping weird, but it obvs originated with her, so why is she acting like she has no idea what the box contains?!

 

[Another Longtime Lurker]

Bab, you really need to get off your fat, lardy arse and get some cleaning done in your house. Your windows and frame are a disgrace! Dirty, mouldy and cobwebs. Just a tip, if you actually opened the windows, maybe your your house wouldnt have the problem with damp and mould.

And risk too much air??!!

 

[Missymoo92]

Babs Tribute

"Em" - parody of "Belle" from beauty and the beast

Excuse the broken up verses, this is a mixture of Emma/cowbags/Babette's/Ste (a bit like the original Disney song I'm on the quiet period of a night shift and have way too much time on my hands )

Set the scene.. Emma wandering the streets of Brum whilst mulling over her content/life.
Enjoy


(Emma)


Little gram
It's a rehashed platform
Everyday, content is a bore
Little gram
Full of my lovely people
Waking up to say..

(Babette's)

Yas kween, yas kween, yas kween yas kween yas kween!

(Emma)
You'll see me baking but it's fake, like always
The same old Saturday - it's hell
Every morning just the same
With my pit stories again
To those poor, provincial trolls -

(Passer by)

"Good morning Bab!"

(Emma)

Good morning lovely friend!

(Passer by)

Where you off to?

(Emma)

Off to Primark, I just saw the most wonderful frock there! It's an 18, with pockets -

(Passer by)

Ah, that's shite!
Marie! The jizz rolls!
Hurry up!

(Cowbags)

Look there she goes, that gals deranged, no question
Crazed and erratic can't you tell?
Very crude and oh so loud
And she seems to be so proud
No denying she's a funny girl that Em

(Man)

Bonjour!

(Emma)

Good day!

(Man)

How many followers?

(Woman)

Bonjour, good day, that's Ste's witch wife!

(Woman)

That taming twins! She's overtaken her -

(Emma)

There must be more than this insta filled life

(Primark shop assistant)

Ah, my number one customer!

(Emma)

Good morning - I've come to buy that new frock for content

(Shop assistant)

It's gone already!

(Emma)

Oh, I need it for my reels - have you got anything new?

(Shop person)

Haha, not since you asked yesterday!

(Emma)

That's fine, I'll just take... This one!

*Emma snatches a too small dress off the clothing rack that will NOT suit her*

(Shop assistant)

That one?! But it's a size 16!

(Emma)

But these are my favourite! Stretchy material, i can squeeze in it, my gunt is disguised -

(Shop assistant)

If you're that desperate for likes and validation, it's yours!

(Emma)

But Bab?!

(Shop assistant)

I insist, now duck off and stop hounding me!

(Emma)

Why I could weep - thank you very much!

*Exits the shop*

(Cowbags)

Look there she flumps, that gal is so unstable
So grey and yellow, she can't be well
Flaunting her "meagre" wealth
Lies about her mental health
What an attention seeking kween that Em..

(Emma)

Ohhh aren't I just amazing?
I adore and love myself, because, you'll see
Here's Ste my real prince charming
But I fantasize about my ex, cos that's just me...

(Ste)

Right from the moment when I met her, I bored her
I'm a pushover, she could tell
Here in Brum it's only she
Who would marry plain old me
So I'm making plans to flee to Brighton town!

(Brighton boys)

Look there Ste goes, isn't he dreamy?
Those cycle shorts, oh he's so cute!
Be still, my heart, he's leaving Babba
He's such a tall, dark, long and Irish hunk!

(Babette's)

"Morning"!
"Hi Bab!"
"Did you see that new vlog?!"
"Disney holiday - again?"

(Ste) "Please let me through!"

(Babette's) "Not more fake baking!"
"Those pastries are stale!"
"But Babs will eat them!"

(Emma)

There must be more than this Instagram life!

(Ste)

Just watch I'm going to escape my wife!

(Babette's/cowbags)

Look there she goes, that gal thinks she's so special
Her contents drying up as well
It's a pity and a sin
All the frocks she can't fit in
She really is a funny gal
A boozy, slurring, vile twit
Her contents full of tat and crap...
That's Em..

"Yas kween, yas kween, yas kween, yas kween, yas kween!"

 

[ChickenWine]

It's becoming more and more apparent that she's using her platforms to validate her life choices. So often she puts out posts and reels where she's essentially commanding her followers to do a certain thing, eg if it's hot you must have an ice cream, if it's your period you must have cake, if you're going out you must tuck your tights into your bra (genuinely mystified by this one!), if it's Valentines Day you mustn't sleep with your husband!

She does it all the time and because she will get lots of comments agreeing with her it makes her feel like what she's doing is normal. She's created an echo chamber where she's constantly told she's doing the right thing when in fact she's leading an incredibly unhealthy lifestyle and, even worse, she's telling her followers it's ok.

I'm so tired of the endless "mum" stereotypes - we don't all have mum tums or are tired all the time (her kids are 9 and 11, not toddlers!) or wear big pants. And how can she be talking about grabbing a few minutes peace when she's literally on her own all day!!

You hit the nail on the head here! Especially in the last paragraph! I hate these mum stereotypes too. I never do the things she claims all mums do. I’m not tired all the time. I don’t miss my son on a night out. It infuriates me that she seems to think this is the case for all mums.

 

[Gl1tt3rUn1c0rn]

Babs Tribute

"Em" - parody of "Belle" from beauty and the beast

Excuse the broken up verses, this is a mixture of Emma/cowbags/Babette's/Ste (a bit like the original Disney song I'm on the quiet period of a night shift and have way too much time on my hands )

Set the scene.. Emma wandering the streets of Brum whilst mulling over her content/life.
Enjoy


(Emma)


Little gram
It's a rehashed platform
Everyday, content is a bore
Little gram
Full of my lovely people
Waking up to say..

(Babette's)

Yas kween, yas kween, yas kween yas kween yas kween!

(Emma)
You'll see me baking but it's fake, like always
The same old Saturday - it's hell
Every morning just the same
With my pit stories again
To those poor, provincial trolls -

(Passer by)

"Good morning Bab!"

(Emma)

Good morning lovely friend!

(Passer by)

Where you off to?

(Emma)

Off to Primark, I just saw the most wonderful frock there! It's an 18, with pockets -

(Passer by)

Ah, that's shite!
Marie! The jizz rolls!
Hurry up!

(Cowbags)

Look there she goes, that gals deranged, no question
Crazed and erratic can't you tell?
Very crude and oh so loud
And she seems to be so proud
No denying she's a funny girl that Em

(Man)

Bonjour!

(Emma)

Good day!

(Man)

How many followers?

(Woman)

Bonjour, good day, that's Ste's witch wife!

(Woman)

That taming twins! She's overtaken her -

(Emma)

There must be more than this insta filled life

(Primark shop assistant)

Ah, my number one customer!

(Emma)

Good morning - I've come to buy that new frock for content

(Shop assistant)

It's gone already!

(Emma)

Oh, I need it for my reels - have you got anything new?

(Shop person)

Haha, not since you asked yesterday!

(Emma)

That's fine, I'll just take... This one!

*Emma snatches a too small dress off the clothing rack that will NOT suit her*

(Shop assistant)

That one?! But it's a size 16!

(Emma)

But these are my favourite! Stretchy material, i can squeeze in it, my gunt is disguised -

(Shop assistant)

If you're that desperate for likes and validation, it's yours!

(Emma)

But Bab?!

(Shop assistant)

I insist, now duck off and stop hounding me!

(Emma)

Why I could weep - thank you very much!

*Exits the shop*

(Cowbags)

Look there she flumps, that gal is so unstable
So grey and yellow, she can't be well
Flaunting her "meagre" wealth
Lies about her mental health
What an attention seeking kween that Em..

(Emma)

Ohhh aren't I just amazing?
I adore and love myself, because, you'll see
Here's Ste my real prince charming
But I fantasize about my ex, cos that's just me...

(Ste)

Right from the moment when I met her, I bored her
I'm a pushover, she could tell
Here in Brum it's only she
Who would marry plain old me
So I'm making plans to flee to Brighton town!

(Brighton boys)

Look there Ste goes, isn't he dreamy?
Those cycle shorts, oh he's so cute!
Be still, my heart, he's leaving Babba
He's such a tall, dark, long and Irish hunk!

(Babette's)

"Morning"!
"Hi Bab!"
"Did you see that new vlog?!"
"Disney holiday - again?"

(Ste) "Please let me through!"

(Babette's) "Not more fake baking!"
"Those pastries are stale!"
"But Babs will eat them!"

(Emma)

There must be more than this Instagram life!

(Ste)

Just watch I'm going to escape my wife!

(Babette's/cowbags)

Look there she goes, that gal thinks she's so special
Her contents drying up as well
It's a pity and a sin
All the frocks she can't fit in
She really is a funny gal
A boozy, slurring, vile twit
Her contents full of tat and crap...
That's Em..

"Yas kween, yas kween, yas kween, yas kween, yas kween!"

You win the whole of the internet with that! Absolutely brilliant

 

[Allthecakes]

Manic Monday
Tedious Tuesday
Wonderful (fruit & veg) Wednesday
Therapy Thursday
F-off & let us enjoy our Fridays
Slob all day Saturday

And breathe, Sunday is all ours xx

 

[Clarissa_2019]

Morning cow bags or should I say ‘kings and Kweens’ how are we ? Don’t know what to make of this mornings pit stories, she’s totally deranged isn’t she?? Gurning and stuttering and emphasising certain words I think she’s drunk or highly medicated , it turns my stomach that she’d put herself out there like that ??? …
And why is it so funny for a middle aged woman to buy fruit ?!?!?! , obviously such a novelty in the conway house , so embarrassing and then she goes all kids tv as if she’s talking to 5 year olds - will it be a mango?? will it be a kiwi?? []. She has probably never eaten either in her life. What a sad and pathetic existence. Have a fun day babs you’ll be on your lunch break soon !!!

 

[GingerWhinger]

The dressing up real with the new bestie is up, it’s essentially 2 grown adults putting on different outfits. How the duck is that helping anyone?

 

[Patrickthewonderdog]

The dressing up real with the new bestie is up, it’s essentially 2 grown adults putting on different outfits. How the duck is that helping anyone?

And they look tit. There’s no difference between the outfits, so the whole ‘one is in her 20s, one is in her 40s’ is irrelevant- and just shows that Bethany has tit, old-lady taste. They both need to look at how unhealthy they look too - it’s not a great look.

 

[ohyes]

That reel what the actual duck?! No point to it at all. They both look tit 🫢

 

[Maddogsmum]

That reel might make more sense if Emma EVER wore anything new! But it’s all- “this is old ASOS, this is old New Look” where’s all the new stuff you buy Emma eh?
Doesn’t fit does it because you’re not a size 18 are you?!
What was the pint of doing a reel with some other nobody and wearing old clothes?! Totally pointless- bit like Emma really, pointless!

 

[Misssj80]

She shows her real size in that reel at the very end, and it's not an 18 Babs. That reel is like when I was 12 and my friends and I would pose In front of my bedroom mirror. What a sad life she leads

 

[Behelzabobs]

For the blocked

both need decent bras

 

[ContentCrunch]

Babs Tribute

"Em" - parody of "Belle" from beauty and the beast

Excuse the broken up verses, this is a mixture of Emma/cowbags/Babette's/Ste (a bit like the original Disney song I'm on the quiet period of a night shift and have way too much time on my hands )

Set the scene.. Emma wandering the streets of Brum whilst mulling over her content/life.
Enjoy


(Emma)


Little gram
It's a rehashed platform
Everyday, content is a bore
Little gram
Full of my lovely people
Waking up to say..

(Babette's)

Yas kween, yas kween, yas kween yas kween yas kween!

(Emma)
You'll see me baking but it's fake, like always
The same old Saturday - it's hell
Every morning just the same
With my pit stories again
To those poor, provincial trolls -

(Passer by)

"Good morning Bab!"

(Emma)

Good morning lovely friend!

(Passer by)

Where you off to?

(Emma)

Off to Primark, I just saw the most wonderful frock there! It's an 18, with pockets -

(Passer by)

Ah, that's shite!
Marie! The jizz rolls!
Hurry up!

(Cowbags)

Look there she goes, that gals deranged, no question
Crazed and erratic can't you tell?
Very crude and oh so loud
And she seems to be so proud
No denying she's a funny girl that Em

(Man)

Bonjour!

(Emma)

Good day!

(Man)

How many followers?

(Woman)

Bonjour, good day, that's Ste's witch wife!

(Woman)

That taming twins! She's overtaken her -

(Emma)

There must be more than this insta filled life

(Primark shop assistant)

Ah, my number one customer!

(Emma)

Good morning - I've come to buy that new frock for content

(Shop assistant)

It's gone already!

(Emma)

Oh, I need it for my reels - have you got anything new?

(Shop person)

Haha, not since you asked yesterday!

(Emma)

That's fine, I'll just take... This one!

*Emma snatches a too small dress off the clothing rack that will NOT suit her*

(Shop assistant)

That one?! But it's a size 16!

(Emma)

But these are my favourite! Stretchy material, i can squeeze in it, my gunt is disguised -

(Shop assistant)

If you're that desperate for likes and validation, it's yours!

(Emma)

But Bab?!

(Shop assistant)

I insist, now duck off and stop hounding me!

(Emma)

Why I could weep - thank you very much!

*Exits the shop*

(Cowbags)

Look there she flumps, that gal is so unstable
So grey and yellow, she can't be well
Flaunting her "meagre" wealth
Lies about her mental health
What an attention seeking kween that Em..

(Emma)

Ohhh aren't I just amazing?
I adore and love myself, because, you'll see
Here's Ste my real prince charming
But I fantasize about my ex, cos that's just me...

(Ste)

Right from the moment when I met her, I bored her
I'm a pushover, she could tell
Here in Brum it's only she
Who would marry plain old me
So I'm making plans to flee to Brighton town!

(Brighton boys)

Look there Ste goes, isn't he dreamy?
Those cycle shorts, oh he's so cute!
Be still, my heart, he's leaving Babba
He's such a tall, dark, long and Irish hunk!

(Babette's)

"Morning"!
"Hi Bab!"
"Did you see that new vlog?!"
"Disney holiday - again?"

(Ste) "Please let me through!"

(Babette's) "Not more fake baking!"
"Those pastries are stale!"
"But Babs will eat them!"

(Emma)

There must be more than this Instagram life!

(Ste)

Just watch I'm going to escape my wife!

(Babette's/cowbags)

Look there she goes, that gal thinks she's so special
Her contents drying up as well
It's a pity and a sin
All the frocks she can't fit in
She really is a funny gal
A boozy, slurring, vile twit
Her contents full of tat and crap...
That's Em..

"Yas kween, yas kween, yas kween, yas kween, yas kween!"

Amazing this is the content I like to crunch

 

[powderpower]

I’m in between these two for age and I’m the area I live not that far from brum no one dresses like this! People wear jeans and tops if they wear dresses they are not these god awful prints sports wear features a lot in school runs as well as it’s comfy and practical. I honestly feel like this is just Instagram world as when Emma does the school run she’s normally in bottoms and a top so where is the realistic bit of it as it’s not the size and what person in their 20’s dresses like that

 

[Snowball89]

Manic Monday
Tedious Tuesday
Wonderful (fruit & veg) Wednesday
Therapy Thursday
F-off & let us enjoy our Fridays
Slob all day Saturday

And breathe, Sunday is all ours xx

So I’m gestationally diabetic (8 weeks to go until baby arrives and it should disappear) I’m craving fruit like you would not believe (have to be careful with fruit cause it spikes my sugars something rotten so I have to limit my intake/pair it well with other food which can be a challenge)

Her mocking it and making it a thing just goes to show you how little she/the family are eating it!

I honestly can’t understand how someone could just not eat it. It truly, truly, truly baffles me.

What an absolute cretin. Maybe fruit caused her imaginary PTSD