yes! this is what i was trying to say - except you explained it far more clearly!
i get the impression that she simply perceived having kids as a societal expectation, the next step in the progression of her life, based on societal "norms" - as in, her nanny joyce got married and then had kids, wet san got married and then had kids etc. from a young age, she had her life planned out in ahead of her based solely on what she perceived as societal expectations of a woman - school, uni, career, marriage, kids - and simply continued to follow her plan without ever stopping to consider whether childhood babs' life ambitions were actually what she wanted as an adult. i think she perceived getting pregnant and having kids as just part of a woman's life, and didn't ever stop and consider whether she actually
wanted children, because she just saw it as "what women do", without considering that having kids was a choice and she didn't
have to have them. she has publicly stated that she HATED being a mother to her kids when they were babies and toddlers and based on the amount of time she spends purposefully avoiding spending time with them now, she quite clearly does not enjoy being a mother to her primary-school aged kids - and i very much imagine the tween and teenage years will be similar.
i think she's deeply resentful towards women of her age who don't have kids, because ultimately she only had children because she just saw it as the next stage in becoming an adult and simply didn't recognise that - as a woman - her purpose in life wasn't dependent on becoming a mother. once she got. married, pregnancy was simply the next step and i don't think she ever stopped to consider whether she actually
wanted kids in her life.