Brittany Bathgate #2 Buying things to fill the gaping hole in her personality

[Chinchilla]

She has previously mentioned she has therapy. I agree with @snarkvark I don't think it's fair to victimise her for crying and having mental health struggles. Yes, she maybe gaining sympathy but on the other hand it may also help that one person that is also struggling and find it relatable. Who knows. Something has obviously happened to her in the past that has bought up certain fears.

I do however, think she is genuine. Whereas, likes of Lizzy Hadfield having those crocodile tears at the beginning of lockdown , that I found cringe and her being so privileged. The fact she couldn't cope having to live with her mum for a month and crying that she was single - come on please. She really grates me. She is someone who flaunts her privilege and is quite arrogant with it.

I also thought that BB was mindful of not flaunting certain aspects of her gifting and free trips, quite thoughtful in this video. whereas, other influencers chuck it in your face and don't read their audience.

Anyway, I know this isn't a rave thread so apologies before anyone comes at me.

 

[elaine_benes_my_goddess]

lol glad to know that my critique of BB is me "reaching" and "gross". well what can i do. im very short and i feel the need to overcompensate by telling people every little thought that goes on in vapid head. oh wait that isn't me.

and it's gross of you to try to manipulate what happened (BB crying on camera) into something race motivated. to insinuate that somehow it's "white woman tears" is shoehorning a trendy catchphrase into a situation that didn't happen.

everything she does, everything we do, is political. so is race. excuse me for tying the obvious threads

@Chinchilla: "I also thought that BB was mindful of not flaunting certain aspects of her gifting and free trips, quite thoughtful in this video. whereas, other influencers chuck it in your face and don't read their audience." lol was it thoughtful? isn't that her job? the fact that she goes on "press trips" is to show people what happens. the fact that BB is part of press is very amusing. "I don't think it's fair to victimise her for crying" LOL she does that herself, why would i do that to her?!

anyway im not the one on trial here.

edit because it posted twice

 

[snarkvark]

everything she does, everything we do, is political. so is race. excuse me for tying the obvious threads

there's a difference between that and a thinly veiled accusation by using terminology usually reserved for someone who has been racist! yes, everything we do is political. that doesn't mean you get to accuse every white woman of "white woman tears" when you dislike them.

ANYWAY. I find BB crying followed by her reluctance to share her press trips (and long winded explanations of why) incredibly self-righteous. she goes on to explain in detail the trip, why not just show us? it would be easier and quicker! either don't go on the trips or go on them. she talked about how most press trips aren't very diverse (how true that is) and yet she has frequently (despite what she says) in the past gone on several of these non-inclusive non-diverse press trips!!!

it's clear to me BB wants all the adoration of someone who tries hard to work on her white woman able-bodied standard sized privilge without actually doing the work. then crying about how difficult she finds leaving the house has me rolling my eyes. talk about your mental health struggles or leave it out of the vlog.

 

[Joannabloggs]

Just adding my two cents

I thinks it absurd she thinks that her press trips aren't interesting and that's why she won't vlog them. Believe it or not Brit, you going to the tailor or sniffing plant based milk is not riveting content.

Loads of bloggers do b.t.s when they do press trips and I know for the most part, the brands she works with wouldn't mind the extra coverage. Why tell us you went on this amazing trip to a lovely Georgian house but don't bother to tell us the name of the property. It all goes back to what many of us have said before, she's unprofessional. I believe she probably forgot to vlog and the name of the country house so now she's coming up with piss poor excuses about the lack of content.

In regards to her tears, I do believe they were genuine and I'm glad she took time off if she felt she wasn't feeling 100%. Do i believe she is privileged, yes, but that doesn't make her any less immune from mental health issues than others and I do believe it's counterproductive to discount them as "white women tears". What i will say, is if Brittany is struggling as much as she says, she has the resources to get some proper help and stop looking to the comments section to help her feel better. I'm tired of those in privileged positions constantly speaking so openly about mental health struggles, but not talking openly about going to get help.

 

[fallouou]

Wasn’t she crying about supportive comments in relation to agoraphobia anyway? As a POC myself (for however much that counts) I’m really struggling to see any link to white woman tears.

Having said that, including the clip still feels try hard and cringe. But I can relate to the feelings of agoraphobia.

 

[elaine_benes_my_goddess]

there's a difference between that and a thinly veiled accusation by using terminology usually reserved for someone who has been racist! yes, everything we do is political. that doesn't mean you get to accuse every white woman of "white woman tears" when you dislike them.

i didn't accuse every white woman of white woman tears, that's a generous reading of my comments. besides, that terminology isn't exclusively reserved to racists. i'm entitled to my comments and critique as much as you are. calling me gross and telling me that im trying to manipulate what BB did into something else, is basically what you're doing to me. im critiquing BB on a forum she isn't a part of. but name calling and piling up on what i said in a forum (that im a part of) is clearly fine?

my two cents is that i critique based on my lived experiences. if it doesn't ring true to you, you're not the targeted audience.

 

[jezzef]

For what its worth for everyone on this thread: "white woman tears" and "karens" are terms (as in these are the definitions and its not up for debate, if you disagree with the definition maybe you learned it through an incorrect context, which is understandable because social media does that) applied to situations where white women use tears/false/exaggerated emotional distress and feign helplessness in order to manipulate a situation to demonise people of colour (typically black men specifically). my friend (black male) experienced this the other day at work when him and his colleague (black female) were dealing with an arsey white woman who was snapping at them. they shifted her onto their white colleague who dealt with her request, the white woman then asked to speak to a manager, and when she was on another floor speaking to the manager (away from my friend and his fellow black colleague) she began to bawl her eyes out and shake and cry and apparently told the manager that my friend had deliberately pushed past her as he walked by. luckily the manager didn't believe a word of it.

so that is a perfect example of what "white woman tears/karens" mean. it's direct violence. I have seen lots of white men begin to use those terms disengaged from the context which has probably perpetuated a misunderstanding of what it means. thanks for that, white men.

in my view, but tell me if i'm wrong, what @elaine_benes_my_goddess means is that BB crying is typical of privileged wealthy white women. but I mean everyone can be cringey and cry on camera for sympathy, and maybe ww tend feel more brave in doing that because of privilege. and I can see why a "social media discourse buzzword" like wwt/karen would seemingly be appropriate, and this may be valid to point out, but @snarkvark is technically correct

also I just watched the intro to her video and actually thought she came across very authentic in my view

 

[elaine_benes_my_goddess]

how kind of you to correct me on a term that i used doing a phD and not on social media. for an indigenous person form the 3rd world it's quite an achievement, i guess. esp as the 1st person in my family to even make it so far. so thank you for pointing out that i may have learnt the term through social media, but i didn't. and so lovely of you to be condescending to me. i feel...special. for what it's worth, the term was applied to the performative victimhood of white women and not to demonise typically black men specifically.

and if you're going to be the judge of this incident by pointing out that someone else is correct, i suppose i have the same right of privilege (or do i?) as you do to point out that im correct. i've had enough of bullying from white women and white men, and people of extreme privilege that i don't need it from anonymous people on the internet. i said those things about BB on an anonymous forum and not to her face or on comments of her YT. her tears attacked me as someone who isn't white. i don't expect you don't understand that. but i also don't appreciate this sort of ganging up and passing kangaroo court-style judgments. please stop this piling on, on one person. also this 'i have a black friend and i saw what he was going through' defense is a worn out argument. you will discount my experience as one-off but somehow your anecdote of a friend's experience is suddenly a vital evidence?

there is also no "perfect example" of what white woman tears are unless you have experienced it first hand and/or have been triggered by it. please don't bring in anecdotes as examples to prove this. im really triggered by all of you.

"also I just watched the intro to her video and actually thought she came across very authentic in my view" - well she didn't come off as very authentic in my view but do you see me ganging up and going off on one person? no.

For what its worth for everyone on this thread: "white woman tears" and "karens" are terms (as in these are the definitions and its not up for debate, if you disagree with the definition maybe you learned it through an incorrect context, which is understandable because social media does that) applied to situations where white women use tears/false/exaggerated emotional distress and feign helplessness in order to manipulate a situation to demonise people of colour (typically black men specifically). my friend (black male) experienced this the other day at work when him and his colleague (black female) were dealing with an arsey white woman who was snapping at them. they shifted her onto their white colleague who dealt with her request, the white woman then asked to speak to a manager, and when she was on another floor speaking to the manager (away from my friend and his fellow black colleague) she began to bawl her eyes out and shake and cry and apparently told the manager that my friend had deliberately pushed past her as he walked by. luckily the manager didn't believe a word of it.

so that is a perfect example of what "white woman tears/karens" mean. it's direct violence. I have seen lots of white men begin to use those terms disengaged from the context which has probably perpetuated a misunderstanding of what it means. thanks for that, white men.

in my view, but tell me if i'm wrong, what @elaine_benes_my_goddess means is that BB crying is typical of privileged wealthy white women. but I mean everyone can be cringey and cry on camera for sympathy, and maybe ww tend feel more brave in doing that because of privilege. and I can see why a "social media discourse buzzword" like wwt/karen would seemingly be appropriate, and this may be valid to point out, but @snarkvark is technically correct

also I just watched the intro to her video and actually thought she came across very authentic in my view

 

[jezzef]

how kind of you to correct me on a term that i used doing a phD and not on social media. for an indigenous person form the 3rd world it's quite an achievement, i guess. esp as the 1st person in my family to even make it so far. so thank you for pointing out that i may have learnt the term through social media, but i didn't. and so lovely of you to be condescending to me. i feel...special. for what it's worth, the term was applied to the performative victimhood of white women and not to demonise typically black men specifically.

and if you're going to be the judge of this incident by pointing out that someone else is correct, i suppose i have the same right of privilege (or do i?) as you do to point out that im correct. i've had enough of bullying from white women and white men, and people of extreme privilege that i don't need it from anonymous people on the internet. i said those things about BB on an anonymous forum and not to her face or on comments of her YT. her tears attacked me as someone who isn't white. i don't expect you don't understand that. but i also don't appreciate this sort of ganging up and passing kangaroo court-style judgments. please stop this piling on, on one person. also this 'i have a black friend and i saw what he was going through' defense is a worn out argument. you will discount my experience as one-off but somehow your anecdote of a friend's experience is suddenly a vital evidence?

there is also no "perfect example" of what white woman tears are unless you have experienced it first hand and/or have been triggered by it. please don't bring in anecdotes as examples to prove this. im really triggered by all of you.

"also I just watched the intro to her video and actually thought she came across very authentic in my view" - well she didn't come off as very authentic in my view but do you see me ganging up and going off on one person? no.

I didn't read this because you've started by being sarcastic and calling me condescending when I was trying to be diplomatic. I did say "correct me if I'm wrong" which I think shows I'm not coming from a condescending position, but this has clearly upset you incredibly, which is not my intention. so I hope you have a nice day and don't spend too long being bothered by this. my apologies for appearing condescending. good luck in your phD.

 

[minniemoo42]

BB is so confused. You're an influencer. Just own it, because it would make your content 100000% better. So if you have a busy week filled with invitations to fancy events, document that. Why the hell not? Stop making up ridiculous excuses as to why you aren't.

 

[judgingfrommybed]

Yoo...
By far the most senselessly boring vlog she's ever created. I didn't even realise she has put me to sleep until I woke up in darkness and saw that it was twenty mins to one am. Well done BB, sis!!

I wish she'd get over herself with the whole trying to be relatable/showing herself to be conscious of her privileges as an influencer who gets invited to stuff and gets free stuff (it's contrived and condescending). Maybe she's too far up her own arse to NOT be aware but actually incorporating what she gets up to outside of her indoor waffling, would make her vlogs a little interesting. I do appreciate the mental health talks though.

BB is so confused. You're an influencer. Just own it, because it would make your content 100000% better. So if you have a busy week filled with invitations to fancy events, document that. Why the hell not? Stop making up ridiculous excuses as to why you aren't.

Lol I mirrored you and didn't even realise. But exactly.

 

[meowmeowbeans]

As an influencer, no matter your M.O., you're always gonna be "damned if you do, damned if you don't." But at the end of the day, you still capitalize on what you choose to put out into the world. Part of why I stopped keeping up with BB (aside from her being even less interesting than paint drying), is this weird game she's playing with us around her mental health. If her struggles are purely performative, as some here speculate, then that is obviously manipulative and gross. If they are real, then what does that say about us as an audience, who are literally supporting (via ad revenue, engagement, etc) this woman's public mental unraveling? It's an endless cycle.

 

[Nova]

She has previously mentioned she has therapy. I agree with @snarkvark I don't think it's fair to victimise her for crying and having mental health struggles. Yes, she maybe gaining sympathy but on the other hand it may also help that one person that is also struggling and find it relatable. Who knows. Something has obviously happened to her in the past that has bought up certain fears.

[…]

Struggling relatable? These days I feel like I’m the only one out there who does not have any mental health issues and anxiety and what not. All youtubers seem to have all these problems. My life is no fairytale, but what I would personally find relatable is just people who don’t take it all so seriously and are just overall happy, even though things aren’t always going well in love life or career.

Wishing all the best to all of those out here struggling, but it seems like you’d have a decent choice of influencers to chose from if you would want to find people going through similar things.

 

[brerwhabbit]

If her struggles are purely performative, as some here speculate, then that is obviously manipulative and gross. If they are real, then what does that say about us as an audience, who are literally supporting (via ad revenue, engagement, etc) this woman's public mental unraveling? It's an endless cycle.

Yup.

I feel like this is the worst possible career choice other than maybe being an ambulance driver, well okay, no, thinking out loud, maybe there are many bad choices I take that back but "influencer" is way up there, for someone with Britney's mental health worries. In the NY Times article I posted a while back the tiktoker (lol is that what they are) who used mental health as content only got worse, but never could cut the cord from it, spiraling further into the depths of ever more severe maladaptive behavior.

I noticed on this last vlog a tendency to try to reduce audience expectations on everything. I'm anxious and hormonal so... I'm not an intellectual so... I don't write reviews so... It's the latest in the "it's just a hobby"so... Don't judge me in other words. A keen strategy to be crappy at everything and then say but I told you this is not my forte.

I also agree that you can't really judge whether someone has real mental health problems and it's easy to go into the "should". She should not be anxious b/c she has so much privilege etc. Many super privileged folks are extremely sick. While it may not seem logical from the outside, one can never know all the reasons and what their life is really like. I don't think she is making this up or necessarily exaggerating.

I guess I'm stating the obvious here, sorry if I sound patronizing. I have struggled my entire life with serious, life thwarting depression and in my view we need to get away from telling people it doesn't make sense in their circumstance. That sets everyone backwards. It's not a circumstance. My sister had the same parents, the same financial worries, the same tit but did not have severe depression. Is it b/c she is stronger? Nope. Crappy level of serotonin? Bathed in testosterone in vitro? Depressed mom failed to make a proper attachment? Who bleeping knows? I sure wish I did and could flip whatever brain fuse switches are flipped, uncross the wires.

That said, do I want to be my sister? No. She's fucked up in other ways and doesn't even know it. At least the depression I had forced me into therapy and I'm self aware of my own limitations. See? I can be positive. LOLOLOLOL.

 

[pasodoble]

I noticed on this last vlog a tendency to try to reduce audience expectations on everything. I'm anxious and hormonal so... I'm not an intellectual so... I don't write reviews so... It's the latest in the "it's just a hobby"so... Don't judge me in other words. A keen strategy to be crappy at everything and then say but I told you this is not my forte.

Boy, this is so true. You've got to ask yourself what kind of person makes videos about their lives and opens themselves up to such microscopic scrutiny. All YouTubers seem to crave validation. They put their entire lives on a plate, looking for approval from their audience - perhaps to balance out the negative self-dialogue and insecurities they struggle with - but along with approval, they are as sure as dammit going to get disapproval as well (because this is life).
You're absolutely right, BB (and others) pre-empt this inevitable disapproval by constantly putting themselves down and anticipating negative comments (to the point of writing on screen how awful her hair looks or telling everyone how boring they are). The only problem is, external validation is extremely addictive ... as is feeding your insecurities ('see, I told you I was crap at this, and I was right because people are agreeing with me'). As someone said earlier, I can't imagine a more unsuitable job for someone with a fragile sense of self worth.

 

[sfts]

Sorry! Stopped following BB and lost the thread but am watching her vlog and she’s still in the flat so does anyone know what her and Dean’s situ is? Are they back together but living apart..?

 

[brerwhabbit]

Sorry! Stopped following BB and lost the thread but am watching her vlog and she’s still in the flat so does anyone know what her and Dean’s situ is? Are they back together but living apart..?

I don't think anyone knows. Maybe even BB. Oh and don't dare ask or you are a nosey Parker - ha!

Just watched this video of Isabel Marant (it's only 3 mins). This is the kind of discussion about anxiety and stress and being a woman to which I really relate. I don't need to hear the buzzwords but the actual experience. And anxiety to me is on a continuum. Everyone has it, just in some of us it is extreme and it can become maladaptive. I don't know that we need to always see it as illness, per se. That's not to minimize it or say that it can't be. I also love swimming like she does and what she says about "imperfection being charming" is so on point.

This is the kind of perspective so many influencers seem to lack. They are caught up in image (perfection) and in wearing clothes like Isabel Marant's but can't hold a candle to her. This is what "authentic" and "creative" actually are. Unlike them, she doesn't need to say those words at all - showing vs. telling.

P.S. at one point she says "I like to combinate...". So cute. I used to have an Italian boyfriend who would make up English words/alter them and I liked them so much I would start using them too. Problem was they weren't charming out of my mouth - I just sounded ridiculous. Hahahaha.

 

[brerwhabbit]

Did she bring up misogyny somwhere? I'm confused but also didn't watch her last two videos.

She did - she vaguely said that some of the comments to her videos were misogynistic, referring to how unflattering certain things were on her and she didn't care, she has a thick skin (!) but she wants to protect others she interacts with that might also be sensitive to such comments, that she doesn't want to give space to them on her channel etc...

It was all a bit of a waffle (no one is surprised here).

An example of the cliche that when people say they aren't something they generally are that very thing - i.e. thick skin, don't care = thin skin, very much care.

I don't think anyone disputes not entertaining trolls. However, she gets riled by the most benign criticism.

 

[sfts]

I really enjoy her friendship with @abimarvel it’s quite refreshing! I follow Abi and she’s such a breath of fresh air from the usual crowd.

 

[Mermaid456]

I really enjoy her friendship with @abimarvel it’s quite refreshing! I follow Abi and she’s such a breath of fresh air from the usual crowd.

I love her style! Thanks for sharing