Brian Dowling #12 How will they afford high rent cause they havent a cent

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They have made such a big deal when aoife isn’t there, there’s a dependency on both sides
 
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I think it's the whole thing of aoife being their live in nanny since day 1 with blake is odd to me . I'm sure the surrogates job is done and dusted when baby is delivered , I find it all so odd , it's like they are a throuple. I don't think they could actually manage blake just the two of them never mind bringing another baby in to this .
It feels like exploitation to me. I wonder are other family members comfortable with this arrangement?
 
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It feels like exploitation to me. I wonder are other family members comfortable with this arrangement?
I feel that people are thinking the same hence they are not showing much of Aoife this time. I know (from them) that she doesn't want to be paraded all over social media this time. But I really think a lot of folk are thinking it's all a bit much at this stage...once maybe, but twice and being a live in skivvy probably isn't sitting well. It really does smack of exploitation and Brian and Arthur know damn well it does. I think as the saying goes; they doth protest too much when the subject comes up, desperately trying to convince us that this is what Aoife wants 🙄!!

I am absolutely dying to see the baby shower. I wonder will it be the absolute circus it was last year🫣
 
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So who was with Blake today when they were both gone all day?
I really hope Aoife is getting a proper wage from them.
 
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Yes they are not paying Aoife. That's not the only cost with surrogacy 😂

They all had tests here and abroad, they BOUGHT a donor egg, they created the embryos in a lab and they were inserted by IVF. None of that is free lol

If they'd used Aoifes egg, Arthur's sperm and a turkey baster, sure that'd have cost nothing. But that isn't what they did 😂

Personally I think paid surrogacy is far more exploitative than altruistic surrogacy, but I do also agree using her as their nanny and letting her submit to another c-section (even if she claims she doesn't want her own future kids) is terrible
Agree. I often wonder should they just have used Aoife’s eggs?. I mean it’s not normal for sure, but are they not always going to be three person parents from now on anyway. Isn’t that what they are now. ? And can she really walk away from two babies. ? Somehow having the second baby with Aoife just makes it a whole different ball game. Far more complex.
 
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I really think it’s amazing that aoife or anyone for that matter would be a surrogate like hats off!! But as I sit here just finishing a night feed looking at my baby who’s only a few weeks old I just can’t understand how that poor woman can carry a baby and just hand he/she over to them when born. I could not imagine doing it a few weeks ago when I gave birth myself. Like do these women just ignore the fact they are growing a baby and force themselves not to create a bond the whole time?! Can’t get my head around it! Find it really sad actually. I spoke to a midwife one time and she was saying how babies know their mams voice, their heartbeat, even their smell and it’s so true cause when my baby is unsettled all I have to do is talk to her, put her on my chest or hold her close etc and she settles. Not for her daddy not for her nanny but for me her mam! I often wonder how these surrogate babies get on having that taken away from them and can’t help but think do they miss what they’ve been used to for 9months?😥 Again hats off to any woman that can do it but doing it and being so involved in the children’s life so much for the rest of your life has to be tough I don’t care what anyone says but that’s my opinion I guess! I wish them all the best and really hope aoife is ok, she’s a strong woman!

Edit to add: like you’d wonder what these women be thinking and how they feel with hormones and everything like imagine aoife gave birth and found it too difficult to hand the baby over would she feel like she had no choice and just had to? How sad would that be. What if she wants to be a mam one day how would she even explain the situation to her own kids? What if she wants to become a mam but she couldn’t carry if there was complications? So many questions!!😩
 
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Agree. I often wonder should they just have used Aoife’s eggs?. I mean it’s not normal for sure, but are they not always going to be three person parents from now on anyway. Isn’t that what they are now. ? And can she really walk away from two babies. ? Somehow having the second baby with Aoife just makes it a whole different ball game. Far more complex.
I suppose it's easier to detach mentally and emotionally if the baby isn't biologically yours?
I couldn't ever "donate an egg" (which let's face it turns into your biological child). Not for all the money in the world. But maybe carrying a baby you know isn't yours "feels different"...to the surrogate anyway. As another poster said, the baby hears and smells the surrogate in the womb and believes that's their mother :(
 
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I have this before but the whole situation is messed up and I fear it won’t end well for any of them, especially the kids
 
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Agree. I often wonder should they just have used Aoife’s eggs?. I mean it’s not normal for sure, but are they not always going to be three person parents from now on anyway. Isn’t that what they are now. ? And can she really walk away from two babies. ? Somehow having the second baby with Aoife just makes it a whole different ball game. Far more complex.
How do we know they didn't use Aoife's egg this time around? Everything was documented the first time. This time she just appeared 6 months pregnant. For all we know it was a turkey baster job. Nothing would surprise me.
 
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A tattler spotted them in the airport the day Blake and assure went to Portugal and aide was with them. Portugal is where they went to do the ivf for Blake
 
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I really think it’s amazing that aoife or anyone for that matter would be a surrogate like hats off!! But as I sit here just finishing a night feed looking at my baby who’s only a few weeks old I just can’t understand how that poor woman can carry a baby and just hand he/she over to them when born. I could not imagine doing it a few weeks ago when I gave birth myself. Like do these women just ignore the fact they are growing a baby and force themselves not to create a bond the whole time?! Can’t get my head around it! Find it really sad actually. I spoke to a midwife one time and she was saying how babies know their mams voice, their heartbeat, even their smell and it’s so true cause when my baby is unsettled all I have to do is talk to her, put her on my chest or hold her close etc and she settles. Not for her daddy not for her nanny but for me her mam! I often wonder how these surrogate babies get on having that taken away from them and can’t help but think do they miss what they’ve been used to for 9months?😥 Again hats off to any woman that can do it but doing it and being so involved in the children’s life so much for the rest of your life has to be tough I don’t care what anyone says but that’s my opinion I guess! I wish them all the best and really hope aoife is ok, she’s a strong woman!

Edit to add: like you’d wonder what these women be thinking and how they feel with hormones and everything like imagine aoife gave birth and found it too difficult to hand the baby over would she feel like she had no choice and just had to? How sad would that be. What if she wants to be a mam one day how would she even explain the situation to her own kids? What if she wants to become a mam but she couldn’t carry if there was complications? So many questions!!😩
My friend is adopted her mam got her a few hours after being born. She never stopped screaming for weeks she wouldn’t settle maybe even months and it’s cause she missed her mum the one who carried her. Her mam even thinks she was taken maybe too early but was 30 odd years ago we know how things were
 
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While I appreciate babies know their mothers voice sounds etc before coming from the womb, babies adapt very quickly.

My friend died in childbirth & her husband had to grieve her & raise their daughter alone. Of course friend & siblings rallied around before funeral/early days while he was finding his feet, but it was him & her from day 1 and he had the same sleepless nights we all were having, went through the same unsettled days during teething & illness etc (mammy was in our pre birth mammy group & had heart trouble, massive cardio event after delivery & died, it was & still is 9years later very, very sad).

There are thousands of women the world over that carry other people's babies for lots of reasons, some financially, some out of the goodness of their hearts (Tommy Tiernan had 2 friends on, can't recall why, but one carried a baby for the other) and they really do manage to put aside their feelings, I don't understand why that is so hard to comprehend. As for telling her own family later in life, why will she have to, she has no biological connection to either child, she's simply facilitating the growing & delivery of a baby.
 
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While I appreciate babies know their mothers voice sounds etc before coming from the womb, babies adapt very quickly.

My friend died in childbirth & her husband had to grieve her & raise their daughter alone. Of course friend & siblings rallied around before funeral/early days while he was finding his feet, but it was him & her from day 1 and he had the same sleepless nights we all were having, went through the same unsettled days during teething & illness etc (mammy was in our pre birth mammy group & had heart trouble, massive cardio event after delivery & died, it was & still is 9years later very, very sad).

There are thousands of women the world over that carry other people's babies for lots of reasons, some financially, some out of the goodness of their hearts (Tommy Tiernan had 2 friends on, can't recall why, but one carried a baby for the other) and they really do manage to put aside their feelings, I don't understand why that is so hard to comprehend. As for telling her own family later in life, why will she have to, she has no biological connection to either child, she's simply facilitating the growing & delivery of a baby.
Sorry for the loss of your friend. X
 
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How are they going to have a soirée out that back garden this weekend, it's the size of a postage stamp.
 
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I really think it’s amazing that aoife or anyone for that matter would be a surrogate like hats off!! But as I sit here just finishing a night feed looking at my baby who’s only a few weeks old I just can’t understand how that poor woman can carry a baby and just hand he/she over to them when born. I could not imagine doing it a few weeks ago when I gave birth myself. Like do these women just ignore the fact they are growing a baby and force themselves not to create a bond the whole time?! Can’t get my head around it! Find it really sad actually. I spoke to a midwife one time and she was saying how babies know their mams voice, their heartbeat, even their smell and it’s so true cause when my baby is unsettled all I have to do is talk to her, put her on my chest or hold her close etc and she settles. Not for her daddy not for her nanny but for me her mam! I often wonder how these surrogate babies get on having that taken away from them and can’t help but think do they miss what they’ve been used to for 9months?😥 Again hats off to any woman that can do it but doing it and being so involved in the children’s life so much for the rest of your life has to be tough I don’t care what anyone says but that’s my opinion I guess! I wish them all the best and really hope aoife is ok, she’s a strong woman!

Edit to add: like you’d wonder what these women be thinking and how they feel with hormones and everything like imagine aoife gave birth and found it too difficult to hand the baby over would she feel like she had no choice and just had to? How sad would that be. What if she wants to be a mam one day how would she even explain the situation to her own kids? What if she wants to become a mam but she couldn’t carry if there was complications? So many questions!!😩
So well thought out. Every woman on here thinks about all this. Women carrying a baby and giving birth is something NO MAN Can ever fully understand. It’s a person inside you. I think it’s actually not going to end well and the selfishness and entitlement of both these men is unbelievable. Brian is crazy to allow his sister to do it again and Arthur is the big winner in it all.
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How do we know they didn't use Aoife's egg this time around? Everything was documented the first time. This time she just appeared 6 months pregnant. For all we know it was a turkey baster job. Nothing would surprise me.
Omg yes so true. How complicated will it be to explain any of it to their children and the children to explain it to their friends.
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While I appreciate babies know their mothers voice sounds etc before coming from the womb, babies adapt very quickly.

My friend died in childbirth & her husband had to grieve her & raise their daughter alone. Of course friend & siblings rallied around before funeral/early days while he was finding his feet, but it was him & her from day 1 and he had the same sleepless nights we all were having, went through the same unsettled days during teething & illness etc (mammy was in our pre birth mammy group & had heart trouble, massive cardio event after delivery & died, it was & still is 9years later very, very sad).

There are thousands of women the world over that carry other people's babies for lots of reasons, some financially, some out of the goodness of their hearts (Tommy Tiernan had 2 friends on, can't recall why, but one carried a baby for the other) and they really do manage to put aside their feelings, I don't understand why that is so hard to comprehend. As for telling her own family later in life, why will she have to, she has no biological connection to either child, she's simply facilitating the growing & delivery of a baby.
I fear this is now Aoife’s family. I can’t see her walking away from this situation and two babies. Also how can you not tell your partner/future children that you birthed two other babies before them? She simply can’t forget that chapter in her life and pretend it didn’t happen.
 
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So well thought out. Every woman on here thinks about all this. Women carrying a baby and giving birth is something NO MAN Can ever fully understand. It’s a person inside you. I think it’s actually not going to end well and the selfishness and entitlement of both these men is unbelievable. Brian is crazy to allow his sister to do it again and Arthur is the big winner in it all.
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Omg yes so true. How complicated will it be to explain any of it to their children and the children to explain it to their friends.
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I fear this is now Aoife’s family. I can’t see her walking away from this situation and two babies. Also how can you not tell your partner/future children that you birthed two other babies before them? She simply can’t forget that chapter in her life and pretend it didn’t happen.
That’s the bit I don’t get. Having kids as a surrogate before having your own. She needs to move out of that house as soon as she has the baby and move back to Kildare to her sisters as Brian and Arthur treat her as a maid/nanny
 
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It's the part of surrogacy that gets me the most. Psychologists the world over have said babies get stressed if they are separated at birth from their mothers, the mothers who have carried them for 9 months. This raises their cortisol and can affect their emotional development for life. Sometimes that is unavoidable of course but traumatic for the baby all the same.
 
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