Hi everyone. My name is Bareth. I'm the Deliveroo driver assigned to Brandon and Erin's postcode. I just thought I'd update you on my situation.
So.. basically I'm living in a tent outside their house. The demand for my deliveries is so great that I cannot justify leaving their property. Every 30 minutes I get another "ping" to deliver them a "banging" KFC or an "unreal" Costa muffin. Life is hard for me, but I'm not complaining. Their constant orders are keeping my 19 pet otters in tiny sleeping bags and little hats (otters love hats).
Last night I was summoned at 3am to deliver a "pano". It took me half an hour of googling and I still couldn't decipher this. Until I stumbled across an oldish video of a manatee in a duvet crying and demanding a "pano". That manatee turned out, in actual fact, to be something called an Erinbowyer... and the "pano" of which she wailed - was actually a pain au chocolat. Bingo. I sourced it within minutes and delivered it to the creature. I think she was grateful. It was hard to discern, as she didn't look at me as she opened the door and took delivery. She simply mumbled "Zoflora have got a new parma violets scent out. Literally insane.", took the "pano" and slammed the door in my face.
So now I'm back in my tent. Waiting for the next request for delivery. I must not fail. My otters must have their little hats.