Even with physically present parents, the mental load of parenting can never be equal because even if you divide everything, the burden of things changes day to day.
Making child care choices, liasing with teachers & health professionals, buying their clothes and sorting them all out, understanding age appropriate toys and resources, an appropriate diet, understanding milestones etc etc, I’d say it’s really rare that both do these things equally, it’s not efficient. My OH naturally wouldn’t worry as much as me, he’d make faster decisions, so I make my own burden heavier too. For us it’s trying to find a balance that feels fair & doesn’t create resentment.
The thing with Ashley is, I don’t think she has the same mental load as most parents already, she outsources home management, she’s financially stable, gets free clothes, shoes & toys, has someone come and sort out the clothes and clutter etc and I don’t think she’s even capable of the level of concern that most of us have about our kids health, development, future. She also misses that it’s not always Mum as default parent, she sees Mums as everything, good dads, tit dads and single mothers with sole responsibility. SAH dad’s, single dads, dads who are carers, co-parents that don’t live together don’t exist. She doesn’t consider the sacrifice or mental load of a dad that that’s working to support their family as relevant. A dad that’s not ‘hands on’ because he’s working all hours to keep the family going and can’t be physically present isn’t a bad Dad!
There are those stuck in the dark ages, surprised at Dads spending time with their kids but maybe that’s because in their historical experience, Dads didn’t have the opportunity to do it, not because they didn’t want to. It’s not always black and white.
TLDR: she tries to be relatable but she doesn’t get it, she’s too busy with her privilege, on her high horse with her narrow view.
She is most definately a sociopath @graceanatomy. You’ve nailed it.
